Cast: Jonah, Narrator, Voice of God, Ship Captain, Sailor Bob, Sailor Frank

Props: Big Fish (cloth, with a cardboard head?), bag o’ money, ropes for sailors, wind/storm sound-effects, dice, some kind of plant

Narrator: “Once, long ago, there lived a man by the name of Jonah. In those days, the people of Israel were being oppressed and harassed by the Assyrians, whose capitol was Nineveh. The Assyrians used to form raiding parties and swoop down into Israel, taking whatever they wanted. The people in Nineveh were particularly wicked, worshipping gods of warfare and taking great delight in cruelty.

Back in Israel, Jonah became a prophet of God, and began to receive messages from Him.”

Jonah: [Kneeling to pray] “How long, Lord, will you wait until You punish these wicked Assyrians? How can You stand by while they attack Your people?”

Voice of God: “I’m going to do something now.”

Jonah: [Stands up] “Oh, boy! What’s it going to be, lightning from the sky? Or maybe … a Plague o’ Death?”

Voice of God: “No, I’m going to send you. I want you to preach to the people of Nineveh, and tell them to repent of their wicked ways.”

Jonah: “Preach to them? Are you sure? These Assyrians hate You, and they laugh at Your people. The only thing they understand or respect is War. I thought for sure You would start by humbling their army, or their king. Maybe You could give them just a little famine?”

Voice of God: “No, I want you to go to preach to them. Tell them about Me, and tell them to stop doing bad things.”

Jonah: “But God, I know all about You. You are full of mercy and kindness and love. If you send me to preach, and they DO repent, then You are likely to forgive them! They don’t deserve Your forgiveness, after all the cruel things they have done to Your people!”

Voice of God: “You let Me worry about that, Jonah. Now, go!”

Jonah: “Um, well, OK. I’d better get packing.”

Narrator: “But Jonah did NOT obey God. He did NOT go north-east to Nineveh. Instead, he went to the sea-port of Joppa, and caught a boat to the furthest point west that he could find, a place called Tarshish.” [Jonah packs his bags, and heads off-stage to right. He walks in front of stage, and uses step-stool to get onto gangway of ship, at left of stage.]

Jonah: “Ahoy, Captain, or matey, or whatever they call you. How soon do we sail?”

Captain: [Standing at top of gangway] “You can call me ‘Captain’. We leave just as soon as you pay your fare. You do know we’re headed for Tarshish, right?”

Jonah: “Tarshish, right. Here’s money for my passage. Let’s go!”

Captain: [Counts money] “Fine, fine. You can take your things to that cabin over there, where you’ll be sleeping. Stay out of the way of the crew. [Turns to sailor.] Let go, aft!”

Sailor Bob: “Letting go aft, aye-aye, sir!” [Unties rope at gangway, pulls it onboard.]

Captain: “Raise the mainsail!”

Sailor Frank: “Raising the mainsail, aye-aye, sir!” [Pulls on rope, watches imaginary sail rise.]

Captain: “All hands, assemble! [Sailors line up in front of Captain, standing at attention.] Now, as you know, we are headed for Tarshish, a long voyage of several months. I want each of you to call upon your gods and ask for fair weather, good winds, and safe passage for us. We don’t want any trouble on this voyage.”

Sailors: “Aye-aye, sir!” [Sailors and Captain fall on their needs and begin to pray to their gods.]

Captain: [Stands up.] “Very well, you are dismissed. Next stop, Tarshish!”

Narrator: “But it was no use. While they prayed to ‘gods’ who were statues of gold, silver and wood, the Only True God was preparing a storm. Jonah, however, found a warm bunk and settled in for a long sleep.” [Jonah goes to side of stage, lays down, sleeps.]

[Storm sounds begin slowly.]

Captain: “I don’t like the look of those clouds. [Turns to bellow at crew.] All hands on deck! All hands on deck!”

Sailor Bob: “All hands are assembled, sir!”

Captain: “I think we’re in for a storm, men. Find any cargo that needs to be secured, and tie it down. Lower the mainsail, and turn the ship into the wind.”

Sailor Frank: “Lowering the mainsail, sir!”

Sailor Bob: [Walks around the deck, pretending to tie things down.] “All cargo secured, sir!”

[Storm sounds slowly increase.]

Captain: [Shouting to be heard over the storm] “This is becoming serious. We are in danger. Assemble the passengers!” [Sailors find Jonah, shake him awake, and drag him on deck. They line up in front of the Captain.]

Captain: “How can you sleep at a time like this? Unless this storm stops, we will all drown. Everyone -- call upon your gods to save us!”

[Captain, sailors all kneel and pray to their gods again. Jonah just stands there. Storm sounds increase even further.]

Sailor Bob: “Sir, this isn’t working! The storm is getting worse!”

Sailor Frank: “I’ve never seen a storm like this one, sir! The gods must be angry with someone!”

Captain: “You’re right! Let’s find out who it is. Highest roll is to blame. First, I will roll for myself. [Captain rolls dice.] Snake eyes! I knew it wasn’t me! OK, now each of you roll.”

Sailor Bob: “My turn! [Rolls dice.] Also a 2! Well, it isn’t me, either!”

Sailor Frank: “Oh, dear, I hope it isn’t me. [Rolls dice.] I got a two, also! Are these your loaded dice, Captain?”

Captain: “No, these are fair dice. The gods must really be angry at someone, and they are making it very clear. Who else is on board?”

Sailor Bob: “There’s no one else except that Hebrew guy. “

Sailor Frank: “I will fetch him.” [Walks over to Jonah, grabs him by the arm, hauls him back to the Captain.]

Captain: “We think that the gods are angry at someone on board. We’ve all rolled already – and we all got 2’s. The highest roll is the guilty man. Roll the dice!”

Jonah: “Well, if you insist … “ [he rolls]

Sailor Bob: “A thirteen! That’s not even possible!”

Sailor Frank: “Yeah, you’re the guy we’re looking for. What God is mad at you?”

Jonah: “I guess you’re right. I’m a prophet for Jehovah, and He sent me on a mission to Nineveh. I didn’t want to go, so I got on your ship, thinking I could run away.”

Captain: “What were you thinking! Well, you’re the expert on this God. What does He want? Some kind of sacrifice? Whatever it is, you’d better hurry, before He sinks our ship!”

Jonah: “I expect the only thing you can do is throw me overboard. My God will probably leave you alone if you do that.”

Sailor Bob: “No way! We don’t throw passengers overboard, just because of a storm! We’ll find something else to do.”

Sailor Frank: “That’s right. Let’s try to lighten the ship a bit.” [They all start bailing.]

Captain: “It’s no use. The ship is getting lower in the water. Let’s jettison some cargo!” [They all start throwing boxes of cargo off the ship.]

Sailor Bob: “Captain, we’ve thrown all the cargo overboard, and the ship is still sinking! We’ve got to do something!”

Sailor Frank: “Maybe we should throw the Hebrew overboard, after all!”

Captain: “You’re right. OK, Mister. Sorry about this, but we’ll have to ask you to leave our vessel. ” [Turns face upward, to talk to God.] “Oh God of the Hebrews, please do not hold us responsible for this man’s life – we are only doing what we think you want us to do.”

Jonah: “I’m sure it will be OK. Be sure to throw me far enough so I don’t hit the side of the ship.” [They grab his arms and legs, and, on the count of 3, throw him overboard.]

Sailor Bob: “There he goes.” [Storm sounds stop abruptly.] “Wow, the storm has stopped!”

Sailor Frank: “And look, where he went into the water – there’s a big fish that seems to be swallowing him!”

Captain: “The most important thing is that we are saved, and that Hebrew God is no longer angry at us. What did he say his god’s name was?”

Sailor Bob: “I think it was Jehovah, sir.”

Sailor Frank: “I’d say He must be a pretty powerful God.”

Captain: “From now on, I’m a Jehovah man, myself.” [Kneels – sailors follow his example.] “Oh Jehovah, I don’t know what You require, but I will find out when we get back to port. I am Yours if You will have me. “

Sailors: “Amen!”

Narrator: “Meanwhile, Jonah was not having a very nice time. Instead of drowning, he found himself swallowed by a huge fish. Inside the fish’s belly, he had enough air to breathe, but otherwise it was dark and smelly. For three days, Jonah was trapped in the stomach of the fish. Eventually, he called out to God.”

Jonah: “God, I’m sorry I didn’t obey you. I know that I should have gone to Nineveh as you commanded. Thank you for saving me from drowning. Please save me from the belly of this fish.”

Narrator: “And so, God had mercy on Jonah, and he made the fish vomit Jonah up on the shore.” [Jonah is spewed out of the fish’s mouth.] “Again, the Lord spoke to Jonah.”

Voice of God: “Jonah! Go to Nineveh and tell the people to turn away from their wickedness.”

Narrator: “This time, Jonah obeyed. He traveled to Nineveh, and went directly to the center of the city. Now, at this time, Nineveh was a large city, with more than 120,000 people . They were surprised to see a Hebrew in their city, and at first they listened only out of curiosity. Jonah’s appearance was rather strange – during the time he spent in the belly of the fish, his skin had been bleached white, almost like an albino. Eventually, even the king of Nineveh heard Jonah’s message.”

Jonah: “Repent, I tell you! God has decided to judge this city, and He will do it soon! If you don’t turn from your wicked ways, God will destroy this city in forty days!“

Narrator: “Jonah was excited about the idea of God punishing Nineveh. Once he had preached to the whole city, he went outside the city and watched to see if it would be destroyed.”

Jonah: “Ah, this looks like a good spot. I should be able to see the whole show from here. I wonder if God will send fire from Heaven? Or maybe an earthquake, or a flood? I hope this is a high enough spot. Boy, it sure is hot out here. I wish I had some shade.“

Narrator: “Perhaps because of his skin being bleached, Jonah was particularly irritated by the sun. That night, God caused a vine to grow up quickly so that Jonah would have some shade. “ [Vine grows up over Jonah.]

Jonah: “Ah, what good fortune! Now I can watch the destruction of Nineveh without being burnt to a crisp by the sun!”

Narrator: “But the next day, a worm came and ate the root of the vine, so that it died. Jonah was very unhappy.”

Jonah: “Oh, how miserable I am! I can’t believe that my vine died! How could God do this to me!”

Narrator: “Meanwhile, in Nineveh, the King and all the people had realized that they needed to repent. The king took off his robes, and put on humble, uncomfortable clothes. He put ashes on his head as a way to show publicly that he was sorry for how he had been acting. He told everyone in the city to do the same, and told all the people not to eat any food. ‘After all,’ he said, ‘maybe Jehovah will see that we are sorry and will give us another chance.’”

“God had mercy on the city, and he let them live. After a few days, Jonah realized that God was not going to destroy the city. He became bitterly angry.”

Voice of God: “Jonah!”

Jonah: “Yes, Lord?”

Voice of God: “Why are you so angry?”

Jonah: “I am so uncomfortable because of the sun, and now my vine has died. Also, didn’t I tell you that this would happen? I knew you were a gracious and forgiving God, and now you’ve even forgiven these people from Nineveh, who have been our enemies for so long! I’m so angry, I could die myself!”

Voice of God: “Jonah, you didn’t do anything to make that vine grow, yet you are terribly upset that it has died. I am not pleased with you, Jonah. You are all angry about a vine, but you don’t care about the lives of 120,000 people in Nineveh, who can’t tell their left hand from their right.”

Narrator: “The book of Jonah doesn’t tell us whether Jonah ever understood God’s mercy, but hopefully those who read the story can learn it for themselves.”

The End