A Slice of Our Life as Homeschoolers

Oh the shame of it all. Yesterday’s post was incredibly short. I hope those of you who grow weary of our pontificating, rambling, tome-like blogging enjoyed the brief respite. Perhaps you were even able to get some work done.

daniel faints

Daniel was obviously mortified.

As for me, I was thoroughly rebuked. Yes, my children, those greedy paparrazzi seeking little stars cannot stand for me to post such sparse works.

“Whoa! That was a short blog, Mom.
“Yeah, I thought maybe the computer wasn’t loading. Only one picture?”

David passes out

Even David was shocked.

The little shake of the head, a pitying glance. You’re losing your touch, implied in their looks. The younger kiddos (not yet insatiable blogging readers) patted me on the arm, not really understanding the topic of the conversation but clearly recognizing the subtle rebuke coming from the older children.

This week has been incredibly busy as we throw ourselves more fully into our schooling. PE at the YMCA started back as well as my BSF classes. I feel myself being stretched as I attempt to cover all of our academic subjects, teach each of the 5 different grade levels, correct assignments, maintain high standards (“please rewrite that dictation in legible handwriting”), and somehow make school “fun.”

daniel flies through the air

This is fun! Does rough housing in the garage count as school?

Thankfully, Joshua has decided to move at a more independent pace this year. I don’t know what I would do if I had to manage all of his course work in addition to the younger ones. He is a highly motivated and disciplined student. As it is, Joshua has an hour scheduled with me for geography and logic, and has to fight every day for our time.

We dealt with all sorts of discipline issues today. It was exhausting. There were tears and fussing and whining, the children had trouble as well. At one point I was pretty much prepared to cut off recess for the year.

It was not a particularly shining moment of our homeschooling day.

With five extra sets of hands around all day, I do have many helpers available to pick up the house. I feel very overwhelmed when the clutter begins to creep down the stairs, covering the floor and furniture.

It is a great delight that the children are such hard workers and so very bribable. A few pieces of candy and the entire downstairs (including laundry room with a load of sorting/washing completed) is picked up. One of these days we’ll get a house cleaning schedule in place. Right now I’m just grateful Will Work for Sugar is stamped on the kids’ foreheads.

this housework is killing me

That’s not to say they wouldn’t like me to find some other slaves helpers.

When Tim got home from work today we had a long family meeting. The first several points of business involved getting a dog or cat. Those suggestions were hurriedly shot down by Mr. and Mrs. Chairperson. Sorry kids. If you think we have trouble keeping up with things now, try adding a puppy/kitten to the mix. I shudder to think about it!

It was inexplicably rejuvenating (cathartic even) just to sit around and share some of our struggles of the day. I did my best to protect the anonymity of the children as I unloaded one difficult circumstance after another.

No need to rub their faces in the memory of the afternoon’s strife and conflict, I thought generously. This proved only so effective as the guilty child, hearing his or her “story,” would leap to his/her feet in a sudden need to use the bathroom (or get a drink, put on a band-aid, sharpen a pencil, call Grandma, really we’re a creative lot here). At the same time, several other children quickly spoke up, “I was 20 feet away, in my room, with the door closed and the radio playing.”

I'm beat

Daniel was wiped out by the end of our school day.

I had at least forty minutes of reading left to do with Daniel and Rachel when we interrupted our school time for the Family Huddle. As we concluded our powwow, Tim announced he was ready for dinner.

See how hard it is to get everything done in a day. Just when it looks like you are ahead (or at least not drowning), someone mentions food and the time is lost.

Maybe we’ll get to all of our subject tomorrows. Of course, they’ll probably want to eat then as well. Sigh. I think I should try out one of those flying leaps that Daniel and David have perfected out in the garage. Might take my mind off of any lingering schooling stress.

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 263

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The Three Amigos

This evening we picked up two of Joshua’s friends on our way to church. Both boys’ mothers are recovering from leg injuries (one had hip surgery). We giggled a bit at the thought of them getting together and hobbling about on crutches or lounging with their feet up while the children (9 of them between the two families) cleaned the house.

When we arrived at church, I hopped out of the running car to take a quick picture. I made asked the boys to stand near each other for the picture. “Pretend you like each other,” I shouted in my best photographer voice.

joshua, tom and timothy

Can we please go to youth group now, Mom?

“Why is your mom taking our picture?” One of the boys asked.
“She always has her camera with her, it’s just a thing she does these days,” was Joshua’s reply, not embarrassed, just resigned.

I never could get the boys to stand very close. The one where I suggested they put their arms around each other came out looking like Joshua was about to throttle one of the other young men. I thought it best to be kept off the blog.

In the end I settled for, “Stand still.”

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 262

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WFMW–Love & Respect

WFMW

Once upon a time … happily ever after.

What happened during the span of those three little dots?

More importantly, HOW do you get your hands on some of that happily ever after fairy dust?

I have no idea.

introducing the bride and groom

The beginning of our happily ever after.

But, as this is a Works for Me Wednesday, I’m here for you all. Let’s talk about marriage.

This past month our church home fellowship group completed a DVD study on Love and Respect. I shared just a bit about it in an earlier post but didn’t thoroughly review the material.

Our church purchased the Small Group DVD set featuring 5 DVDS (the seven hour Love & Respect Conference on DVD) and 10 Small Group Discussion Guides.

This conference is amazing! Drop whatever you are doing and head out to get a copy of the series. Go the website and see if there is a conference coming to your area. Don’t delay! Don’t waste time reading other boring marriage books. Get some friends together and go in one the cost of the dvd set. Beg your church staff to buy it. Hound the library and get funding for the DVDs.

The lessons were challenging, motivating, and insightful. Dr. Eggerichs is a compelling and animated speaker. He has a passion for helping people in their marriage and the unique ability to understand the needs of both women and men. Tim and I would both say that out of all the marriage resources we’ve studied, this course has had the most impact in relating to each other in godliness.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I liked this course just a bit. :)

When we first began the course, we handed this Marriage Questionnaire out to all the couples in our group. We encouraged them to answer as honestly as possible. We didn’t share the responses, they were sealed in an envelope and put aside.

I’ve been working on this blog for several weeks — mainly setting it aside. My plan was to write a Works for Me Wednesday post on 3 ways you can show respect to your husband. Doesn’t that sound great. I’d love to read something like that. In fact, why doesn’t someone else post on marriage and I’ll visit YOUR blog.

Hmmm, that’s the problem. When it comes down to actually writing on this topic, I feel incredibly inadequate and unqualified. No matter how I hard I try and how much I study, I continue to struggle in this area. Nonetheless, my husband is relentless and won’t let me pick another WFMW topic. Either he thinks I have some wisdom to share or he hopes I’ll learn something in the writing. Ha!

It's been a long time since we wore watches

Of course, you can always try to arm wrestle your way into a happy marriage.

The key verse for Eggerichs’ material is found in Ephesians 5:33:

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The husband is to love his wife and the wife respect her husband. It’s not a choice. It’s not conditional on merit or worth but by obedience to the Lord. Eggerichs says when people are not fulfilling these commands in their marriage, they step onto the crazy cycle. Husband acts unloving and Wife responds by being disrespectful. Or Wifey Poo acts disrespectful and Darling Husband reacts by being unloving.

Love and Respect – simple, yet powerful words.

Most of the wives in our group had a difficult time understanding how respect could be that important. Not a good sign for the poor husbands. The men would nod vigorously during the DVD while the women would look puzzled and mumble something like, “Really? Respect? Maybe if he was (insert virtue) I could respect him. Mumble. Mumble.”

One of the foundational principles of Love and Respect, is that a wife owes her husband unconditional respect in the same way that a husband owes his wife unconditional love.

I’ve been brainstorming the last few weeks, trying to come up with 3 concrete ways a wife could show respect to her husband. The fact that it’s taking me so long is an indicator of the difficulty of this issue and the challenge we women face.

I finally came up with 3 concrete ideas. God bless you if you’re still here after that “short” intro.

Works for Me Wednesday – Respecting Your Husband

  1. Say “Thank You” — be creative. It doesn’t have to be expressed verbally. Slip a note in his lunch box. Leave a Post-It on the dashboard of his car. Have the children write cards and mail them to his place of business or put them on his favorite chair at home. Give him a special plate for dinner. Include treats in his lunch, something that says “you are special”. For my husband that means cashews and Nutella. Nothing makes him feel loved like some chocolate hazelnut.

    lunch anyone?

    Tim’s lunch bag and back-up lunch box in case one isn’t enough.

    Thank him for sacrificing for the family.
    Thank him for getting up and going off to work.
    Thank him for being a hard worker and provider.
    Thank him for taking out the trash or caring for the automobiles.
    Thank him for helping out with the kids, dishes, lawn work, bills.
    Thank him for doing the disgusting jobs that no one else wants to do (in our house that means overflowing toilets, cleaning up after sick kids and squishing spiders).

    Find an area where you can sincerely thank him, don’t use this as a manipulative tool to thank him for the things he doesn’t do in hopes he will change. Think of something you respect about him (his ambition, discipline, driving skills, fill-in-the-blank) and TELL HIM.

  2. Is it YOUR special day?

  3. Listening Ear or Problem Solver — which one do you want? Identifying this and being clear about it, is a HUGE sign of respect in my marriage. If I can let Tim know before we begin a discussion or conversation that I simply want a listening ear, it impacts our entire day.

    Tim has shared with me repeatedly (and one of these days I’ll actually get it) that he feels disrespected when I share a problem or difficult situation with him and then don’t heed his advice. If I tell him ahead of time that I just need to talk, he is able to set aside his incredible Problem Solving Super Powers and enjoy the conversation.

  4. No Interruptions — this tip is primarily for moms. I know you can multi-task with the best of them. Talk about Super Powers. Believe me, I’m sure, that most of you are able to make dinner, write out a grocery list, talk to your husband and answer questions about homework at the same time.

    I have found, however, that this is an incredible source of frustration for my sweet husband. If at all possible (barring emergencies), try to minimize distractions and interruptions while conversing with your man. Train your children to use the interrupt rule.

    Be honest with yourself, if you know this isn’t going to be a good time for a lengthy conversation — Don’t Start One. The sad fact is, most husbands don’t really want to talk. They are already giving of themselves (their time and energy) and when you turn your attention elsewhere in the middle of a conversation, it sends them the message that their offering is worth nothing to you.

too tired to interrupt

How long before I can interrupt?

Please hear my heart on this subject, I am in a constant battle against my lazy, sinful nature. I long for a godly, passionate marriage but more often I want to put myself first and have things “my way.” I am not an expert. I fail all the time in respecting and honoring my husband.

I’m trying, though, and these are a few areas that bless my husband.

Kathy

Head on over to Rocks in My Dryer for further Works for Me Wednesday links.

Some other Duckabush WFMW Posts

Devotional Books for Little Ones
Homeschooling Faves
TopBlogSites
Laundry Organizer
Giant Whiteboard
Travel Outfits

Join us for our Tuesday Tips for Parenting

Calling Your Child
Creative Use for the Timer
First Time Obedience
Sermon Notes
Thorough Job
Paper Dolls
Walk-Away

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Tuesday Tips for Parenting – Walk Away

And introducing our new Tuesday Tips logo, created just for us by Lisa’s talented daughter, Allison. Thank you, Allison!!

new logo

As a father of five children, I’ve had ample opportunity to encourage my kids in the exercise of self-control. I can’t be everywhere, and my wife (who homeschools all five) is often tired of being ‘in charge’ when I get home from work.

Over the years we discovered that many problems facing parents are the result of letting things get out of hand rather than addressing them early. As we have shared before in other Tuesday Tips we are strong believers in the idea that training (particularly in moments of NON-conflict) is key to effective parenting.

An aggressive driver
“Come closer so I can lick you, Daddy.”

When our kids were little, they all learned that we ‘meant business’ about playing with electrical sockets. We had a carbon monoxide detector in the kitchen that beckoned strongly to little eyes and minds with its intriguing red and green diodes. We found that if a mobile baby or young toddler was within about 4 feet of it, the lure became almost irresistible. One day I spent a frustrating five or ten minutes swatting the hand of my son David, who persisted in touching the detector. Although we were tempted to simply move it, we had decided not to ‘baby proof’ our home, but rather to work on life-proofing our babies themselves.

Then we hit on the happy solution: “Walk away.”

Topknot Girl
Or, in some cases, “Drive Away.”

When our child would head toward the carbon monoxide detector, I would say, “No.” If they approached it closely, I would sharpen my voice, move closer, and repeat: “No, No.” If they reached for it, I would let them touch it, then swat the hand, and then turn them physically 180 degrees away from it, placing them down on the floor at least 5 or 6 feet from the wall. “Walk away,” I would say. We repeated this sequence at least half a dozen times before he came to appreciate the personal benefit of walking away.

Bike riding the easy way
David tries to ‘splain things to Sarah

We realized that if a child could get some distance from the temptation, they could then exercise the self-control necessary to avoid it. This phrase seemed to carry more power than “don’t touch” or a simple “no” because the toddler physically left the presence of the enticing object.

Over time, this strength grew, so that several of my children learned to give electrical sockets (and a variety of other dangerous things) a wide berth. We found that this lesson translates well to avoiding other pitfalls, and the words ‘Walk Away’ have often been an effective protection for our children from sin and harm.

Pushy Sarah
Sarah and David have really benefited from the godly example set by their older siblings.

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he communicates this awesome promise of God:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. — I Corinthians 10:13

Sarah contemplates a ruler
It is sometimes hard to predict what will tempt little minds.

As I have grown in my love for Jesus, I have found this promise to be unfailingly true — there has never been a time when I called out for help that God has not provided a way for me to resist or escape a temptation. One of the best protections we have against sin is avoiding situations that present strong temptations, just as staying on the safe side of a guard rail can prevent you from falling down a cliff. This skill of avoiding trouble by walking away is true for adults, why not children also?

David Hangs Out
I have been especially impressed with David’s wisdom and self-discipline in setting boundaries to protect himself from temptation.

I first wrote this article as a response on Helium, but I decided to tweak it a little and republish it here.

Tim

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Some Pie with Your Ice Cream?

When Tim and I lived in Michigan, nearly 10 years ago, we often celebrated events with my parents over a TCBY frozen yogurt pie. It split in four ways very nicely, I’m a bit embarrassed to recount, and quickly became a favorite treat. Since it was “frozen yogurt,” and everyone knows yogurt is “healthy,” we had no trouble convincing ourselves a quarter of a pie was an acceptable portion size.

rachel's big mouth

Some children think they can eat the ENTIRE pie themselves.

However, it didn’t take my frugal husband long to calculate the cost per forkful and realize TCBY was making a hefty profit on our festivities.

“I can make an ice cream pie as good as any old frozen yogurt stand,” Tim boasted.

Not being ones to stand in the way of ambition and enterprise, we heartily encouraged Tim to head to straight to the store, offering ourselves as willing victims of his culinary creations. Those were mighty fine, if fattening, days and I must say, we’ve never looked back. Tim has become the ice cream pie expert of the family.

Be sure to leave us a comment regarding your favorite ice cream pie ingredients (see last paragraph).

lets make a pie

Breyer’s Fried Ice Cream – delectable!

Today he decided to make two pies, no doubt inspired by the clean pantry and the two pie crusts he discovered on the back shelves.

Ingredients for Two Pies

Oreo Pie Crust
Chocolate Graham Cracker Crust
(Our crew strongly prefers the Oreo crust, but they are occasionally difficult to find. The Keebler chocolate crust offers a more subtle chocolate flavor for those not seeking chocolate overload.)
3/4ths container of ice cream per pie
Chocolate Syrup
Assorted chocolates — Reeses Cups and Andes Mints are both delicious. We have found some chocolates are too hard when used in a frozen pie (M&M’s, Snickers, etc).
Chocolate Magic Shell (this is a new addition to the recipe)
Whip Cream (optional but makes the pies so pretty)
Sprinkles (crucial if you are working with children)

ice cream pie in the making

Let ice cream soften.
Apply thin coat of chocolate syrup to the bottom of the pie crust.
Yum. Begin chocolate overload.
Scoop ice cream into pie shell.
Chop chocolates into small pieces and sprinkle liberally over ice cream.
Drizzle chocolate syrup atop ice cream and candy
Repeat another layer of ice cream.
Finish with some combination of Magic Shell, Reddi-Whip and Sprinkles.
Return to freezer until ready to serve.
Dive in, forks in hand.

sarah

Sarah is ready with the sprinkles.

it's a family affair

How many Duckabush Bloggers does is take to make ice cream pies?

this is goodyum

Joshua cleaned the garage in exchange for the largest slice of pie. Was it worth it, Joshua??

I think we might have some future ice cream pie bakers in the family. It’s important to pass these meaningful skills down through the generations.

Question
If you were making an ice cream pie (or rather, having Tim and the children prepare a pie FOR you) what type of ice cream and candy fillings would you want? Or maybe you’re a caramel fan and would eschew the chocolate syrup altogether. Let us know! We’re always on the look out for new ideas.

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 259

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