We recently had a photo shoot, about which Kathy wrote: Why Models Never Smile. It was quite the family outing, right up there with cutting a Christmas Tree or going to the Pumpkin Patch, but with none of the fun.
Actually, the photographer was pretty funny, working hard to get us all to smile or laugh, bossing us around in fine style, and keeping a running count of the number of times Joshua rolled his eyes. She tried to steal my Diet Coke, though, which was not quite so amusing — photographers need to know where not to cross the line. 
Today the disk with the pictures arrived in the mail. Kathy saw the mailman coming (and even tried to wait for him) but had to go out, and so the disk was left for me to discover. “It’s a good thing Tim isn’t tempted by that sort of thing,” she consoled herself. “He’ll have no trouble waiting until I come home, so we can look at the pictures together.”
I called Kathy as I ripped open the envelope and slapped the picture disk into the CD tray — I was redirected to voicemail, since she apparently screens her calls. “Hey, Sweetie, just wanted you to know that the photo disk arrived today — I’m just loading the images onto your computer … ”
As I tell my boys, wife-taunting is a major perk of being married.
I received a call back almost before I had finished leaving the message. “What?” shrieked my bride, as I hurriedly adjusted the volume controls on my phone. “You had better just walk away if you want to see another sunrise, or whatever they call it when the sun comes up in the, er, ‘morning’.” (My beloved doesn’t really believe that there are two 7 o’clock hours in each day.) As threats go, it wasn’t particularly articulate, but chillingly effective, nonetheless. I backed slowly away from her computer, leaving the mouse pointer poised suggestively over the ‘OK’ button on the Image Loader wizard window.
I guess I’ll just have to wait until she gets home. Unless I were to pop the disk out and load them on a different computer, and then put it back …
Nah, she’ll ask me point-blank if I looked at ‘em, and then I’d dig myself even deeper. I’d better just wait …
What if I only looked at one picture, would that count? I could then ‘honestly’ say, “No, dear, I didn’t look at the pictures!”
Oh, I can’t stand it. I’ll just have to post a picture, so you can all enjoy. Here it is (scroll down):
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Keep scrolling …
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There. I shared the whole disk with you. Nobody can say I’m stingy.
Tim
Project 365, Day 334
You are officially on the Naughty List!
Too funny!
You think “wife taunting” is fun? Looks like “blog reader taunting” is more your speed.
You are an mean, mean man! Poor Kathy, being married to you!
Can’t wait to see the “pictures” on the disk!
Tim, that was awful!!!! I was so excited to scroll down and see a picture!!! And there was a picture of the disk.
I’ll bet you laughed too. I’m anxiously awaiting the real thing.
Hee hee. I must admit, I had fun with that. I even sent a text message to Kathy’s phone telling her I had posted a blog entry ‘with the pictures on it’. “I hope I didn’t steal your thunder … ” I said, as though I didn’t know it would kill her for me to post the pictures before she saw ‘em.
LOL and LOL some more!!
mean-cute–terrible. WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS???
I love you Es. AK
I’m taking you out of my will now. You’ll NEVER get the Scrabble letter G from us with that kind of behavior.
Oh my goodness! I was so excited to see the family pictures . . . and then all we got was the disc . . .too funny!
What a tease! ::snort::
I’m mainly bothered that Kathy’s name is just written haphazardly across the disc, completely disregarding the lines specifically intended for this purpose.
Very distracting for anal people.
I must go and alphabetize my soup cans now.