Yearly Archives: 2012

Aunts and Uncles, Family, Family News

Lost Days of 2011 — Vacationing in Fort Clark, Texas

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Continuing my ‘Lost Days of 2011′ series, here is another memory that went unchronicled last year. I don’t know what I was thinking, to leave this vacation out!

Perhaps one of the hardest things for my mother-in-law to do last year, was to host us all at Fort Clark without her husband. Mamie has this idea that Bill was ‘the fun one’ and it was a big step for her to let us all come back to Texas in the Summer of 2011, with Grandad having died in February.

Still, how could it be Summer without a week or two in Texas? So many of our best and happiest memories are rooted in that place — we were thrilled that Mamie agreed to let us all come.

David and Sarah, beating the Texas heat with a shared water bottle

With the seven of us, Dan and his three, Aunt Stephanie, Jenn and Logan, and David R. thrown in for good measure, it was a large, silly crowd. Mamie was a very good sport to put up with us all, and to be ‘the fun one’ in her own right.

"Houston, we have a negative on escape velocity."

As usual, we spent many days at the football-field length pool, playing games and making ice-cream pilgrimages to Pico’s in the evenings. But we also went bowling, launched water balloons, and geocached as well. It was a fun-filled visit, with lots of cousin-time and opportunity to rest and relax.

Aunt Stephanie is very intentional about connecting with each of our kids -- she is a Great Aunt!

It was strange to be there without Grandad. I tried to go for lots of golf-cart rides, and I even read a couple of Louis L’Amour books (just to get into the spirit of the thing) but we very much missed his larger-than-life, boisterous Grandad-in-vacation-mode persona.

We tried to 'round up the usual suspects', but all we found were these people.

We missed having Phil and Emily there, but it was good to have some time with Jenn and Logan. One of the best things about Fort Clark is that you seem to have plenty of time there — the slow pace demanded by the heat is a welcome change from our busy lives.

Logan was well-loved by all his cousins, and Jenn's kindness and sense of humor were greatly appreciated.

Thanks to Aunt Kate and Uncle Jerry, who let us stay at their house, we had plenty of room to sleep and play games. They have been so kind to us, over the years, and I often worry that we are not sufficiently thankful. This year, I had the idea that we could each write a thank-you note to them each day — it turned into quite a pile of mail. I hope we didn’t irritate them more than we communicated our thanks.

Kathy never quite gets enough time with her family.

As a parent, I get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing my children interact with their cousins. There is something particularly special and precious about a close relationship with a cousin — that bond of blood seems to establish a level of trust that isn’t found in any other relationship.

Only their mothers can tell them apart.

Truly, an unforgettable Summer vacation. Thank you, Mamie, for letting us visit you at Fort Clark. Thank you for being brave and doing it without Bill.

Tim

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Daily Life

A Quiet Sunday Afternoon

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With Kathy and Rachel still away in Michigan, our Sunday afternoon had a bit less structure than usual. Kathy often comes home from church with a bee in her bonnet, as it were, to ‘get some stuff done before the week starts’.

I, on the other hand, view Sundays as a day of rest, especially after teaching Sunday School, which always takes a bit out of me. I’m usually thinking in terms of:

  • A nice lunch, maybe grilled sandwiches
  • Some good computer-game playing
  • A read-aloud (these days we’re working our way through some of Tolkien’s work, courtesy of Joshua)
  • Pancakes or other breakfast food for dinner
  • A family movie

Cats know how to get the most out of a Sunday afternoon

Sarah asked me about the ‘meetings’ we’ve been doing with each child, lately, on Sunday afternoons. “We can’t MISS a week, can we?” She sounded rather plaintive — Sarah really enjoys the focused attention of her parents.

“Nope — can’t do it without Mom,” I assured her, breezily.

After a couple of us got back from helping some friends move from one apartment to another, Joshual and Daniel worked on their school, while David and Sarah amused themselves with the dress-up chest. Joshua did read us a chapter from The Fellowship of the Ring, but mostly we just snacked on leftovers and played computer games. The younger set watched Cars 2, and I logged in some serious hours on my new Civilization V game. It was a good Sunday.

Charles and Margaret paid us a brief visit.

At some point, preferably BEFORE Kathy gets home, someone is going to have to do some dishes and laundry. But the sink faucet is broken again, which makes things a little tricky with respect to washing dishes. Or at least, that’s my excuse.

Tim

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Daily Life, Daniel, Recipes/Food

French Dinner with Daniel

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As part of his French class, Daniel must occasionally engage in the production of special cultural projects, to enhance his understanding of French culture. Past projects have included:

  • Making a map of our neighborhood, with all the landmarks labeled in French
  • Watching a French movie — Les Choristes
  • Taking a picture (and labeling it in French) of our living room
  • Writing a report on how Christmas is celebrated in France

This month, Daniel was given the opportunity to do some French cooking. My suggestion of French Fries wasn’t received favorably, for some reason. Daniel looked over the list, and settled on crepes.

At first, I was inclined to sneer a bit. “It’s just a pancake with a French name,” I said to myself. But when he started to add the Strawberry Jam, Nutella and Cool Whip, I changed my tune.

Some school projects are a lot more fun than others.

“Say, Daniel,” I hinted, in my best wheedling voice. “Do you need me to try that, just to make sure it is OK?” No, for some reason he didn’t need my help — I had to make my own with the dregs of his batter.

It was a delectable dessert, and I took back my sneering. Of course, not many things aren’t made delicious by way of a liberal coat of Nutella. Well done, Daniel!

As the day wore on, David asked me, with his characteristic tact, “So, Dad, what are we doing about supper?”

I haven’t scored a lot of points as a short-order cook this week. “Fend for yourselves,” has been my rallying cry, as I headed off to work in the city. We’ve gone through all the Chimichangas and most of the burritos. Happily, I was able to report that one of Kathy’s dear friends was bringing dinner. The cheering was a bit deafening, and rather insulting.

We were all still hungry enough to devour Michelle's delicious beef stew, in spite of the crepes.

The stew that was provided was mostly steak, with a few token carrots and potatoes thrown in for color — just the sort of stew that a houseful of boys appreciates. Kathy’s friends sure are good to us — thanks, Michelle!

I decided not to display the Cookies & Cream Ice Cream Cake because, well, we haven’t finished it yet. Besides, we’re not accepting any visitors until we do a little cleaning in the kitchen.

Tim

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Family, Grandparents

Books, Grandad and Loss

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I’m sitting in the darkened room of my mom’s new condo. Her lovely, airy, just-the-right-size condo where she lives ALONE, without my dad. How is it possible that a year has passed already since we said goodbye to one of the most godly, energetic, full-of-life men that I have ever known? A year? A year of tears, sadness, changes, laughter, new memories, birthdays, holidays, old and new traditions. At every turn there exists both bitter loss and, at the same time, the peace and comfort that can only be found in God’s incredible care.

“I haven’t been bored since the third grade,” Dad used to say, a book (or two) in hand, a project (or two) in the works, and a place (or two) to go.

I found this picture in a stack of old family slides.

“What happened in the third grade?” I asked my mom this week, my heart full of an odd mingled joy and sadness, glad to be together with my family in Michigan but hating the reason for our celebration.

Mom’s eyes slid to the bookshelves adorning the wall in the upstairs bedroom, and she laughed, “It’s probably when he discovered the school library.”

Oh my, that must be it! I can think of dozens of pictures, snapshots on the computer and faded slides in boxes, and hundreds of images, vivid memories, that include my father with a book in his hand.

My high school honors program, yep a book and magazine article tucked in his jacket pocket.

Visiting people at the hospital – Bible in one hand and a book in the other.

The pool, beach or park – there wasn’t a single outing where Dad would venture without one or more books, usually a small tote bag full of reading material with him.

Niece Aydia already shares Grandad's love of reading!

My dad possessed a passion for learning and a library of thousands of books. He could never resist a book sale and was constantly bringing home bags of “treasures” he found at the library sale racks. I truly believe he intended to read ALL of the books on his shelves, if only he could find the time in his incredibly busy, full life.

I remember the distressed sound in his voice when we spoke over the phone while he was in the hospital, “Kath, I can’t seem to concentrate on my book. I can’t even read one of the westerns.”

Are there books in heaven?

A year since we last held his hand, kissed his cheek and said farewell.

Dear Daddy,

I miss you. Your smile reached down to the deep, scared places of my heart. That smile radiated, loud and clearly, “You are my daughter, and I love you.”

Thank you for instilling in me a curiosity and craving for knowledge. Thank you for teaching and learning and modeling a hunger and thirst for the Lord. Thank you for loving my children. My soul hurts for their loss as much as my own.

Sometimes it feels like we can’t go on without you. I can’t remember a time when you and Mom were apart for more than three days. There is an emptiness, by her side, where you should be standing.

I dreamt last month that we were all together. In the dream I kept wondering, “Where were you during that long year when Mom sold the house and moved? Why weren’t you with her? Where did you go?” But the separation was over and you smiled, and I knew I was loved.

I woke up and realized you were gone, and I sobbed and sobbed.

In the quiet moments, later in the day, I realized that dream was a gift; it was a little glimpse of heaven. Eventually we will all be together again. We will no longer ache with loss and sadness. We will be whole and complete, and we will all smile in the radiance of Christ’s glory and presence.

I love you,
Kathy

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David, Holidays, Kathy, Rachel

Low-Budget Valentine’s Day

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As many of you know, my wife loves to celebrate. It doesn’t take much — Arbor Day, Saint Ignatius’ Day — any excuse will do for festivities. And once she’s managed to make a big deal out of an occasion twice, it is automatically promoted to ‘Tradition’ status.

More and more, I see her Mama in my beautiful Rachel.

Usually we pull out all the stops for Valentine’s Day, but this year, we decided not to spend any money on gifts for each other. Once that unpleasant decision was made, it became easier to agree that the kids ‘could probably do without any special gifts’, too. Being careful with money is always difficult for us.

Although I didn't buy flowers for my Kathy, her Mom bought some beautiful tulips!

At the last minute, both Kathy and I weakened. I bought a large box of Haagen Dazs ice cream bars for the kids, and Kathy spent much of the night making (and printing) Valentines for her favorite five children. After all, it is a Tradition.

David has eyes only for his Valentine.

Tim

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