Strangely enough, this isn’t a post about my Sweetie, who often gives me funny (or sometimes sizzling hot) Valentines. This, in spite of the fact that Kathy celebrated V-Advent this year by hanging little bags of candy and Valentines for each of us in the week before Valentines’ Day.
Kathy pinned-up at least a half-dozen bags of nuts and candy for me, as Valentines’ Day approached.
Hard as it is to compete with chocolate, I actually think that the best valentine I have received so far was from my youngest daughter, Sarah. I’ll post a picture of it so you can be the judge.
The hearts on the outside of the Valentine were a good sign, I thought.
One of the problems with being a Dad, is that you often seem to be doomed to failure. You will inevitably make mistakes (some of us make them every day) and you will not always be loving, faithful or wise. Even when you do succeed by any objective standard, you will often be rejected by children who are blinded by their own sin, or misunderstood and resisted by the spouse that you thought was on your side. No, being a Dad is not for the faint of heart.
Sarah got a kick out of Kathy’s silly V-Advent messages.
One of my favorite illustrations of this is from the movie, While You Were Sleeping. In the course of the film, we discover that one of the main characters, Jack, does not want to continue in his family’s business, yet he feels trapped, wanting to please his father. Now that his brother has come out of a coma, Jack catches his Dad in a wistful, reflective frame of mind. He senses that it is time to get things out in the open. Sitting down one morning with his Dad, armed with a box of donuts, Jack seizes the moment:
Pop: “You work hard, try to provide for the family, and then for one minute everything’s good. Everyone’s well, everyone’s happy, and in that one minute, you have peace.”
Jack: “Pop … this isn’t that minute.”
Jack goes on to tell his Dad that he wants to quit working for him, but rather seeks to go into business for himself, making rocking chairs.
Rachel seems to become more beautiful, every year!
I often feel like the Dad in the film — this isn’t that minute. It seems like we constantly move from crisis to crisis, battling 18×7 for the hearts of our children against a hostile, worldly culture and other evil forces that want to devour them. But there is a part of me that is desperately weary of the struggle, and really yearns for that minute.
A few days before Valentine’s Day, Sarah came up to see me in my office upstairs, where I work from home several days a week.
“Hey, Dad, I made you a Valentine.” She handed it to me, smiled, and left. Opening it, I got the chance to cherish one of those moments that a Dad lives for.
It seems that Sarah likes me.
One of the things that Kathy and I have been talking about recently is the hunger that we all seem to have, to be truly known. As the scripture says:
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. — 1 Corinthians 13:12
Sarah hit the nail on the head when she appreciated me for my love of teaching, my generosity and my whimsical silliness, three traits at the very core of who I am. It is delightful to be known and valued and loved as a Dad. Thanks, Sarah, for a great Valentine!
Wait a minute! Sarah sent ME a valentine too! We can’t both be her Valentine, can we? Hers was the only card I got, and you are already married, so… I figure you should let me have first priority.
Just so you know, if the drag of everyday life gets too much for you, you can always come down to Union where you are spoken of very highly. Admittedly I have taken to attributing to you lessons and quotes that you never actually said, but one should be thankful for what one can get in this day and age.
You: “As my old Pappy used to say … ”
Me: “Wait a minute, I never said any of those things!”
You: “Yes, well, its because the things you actually said were so darn stupid … so I had to improvise.”
I am thankful. Really.
The V-advent idea is very clever. As it happens, Dan & Rebecca Small actually celebrate a mid-February “Christmas” holiday on Valentine’s Day – so the idea of looking forward to the celebration in an Advent manner makes good sense – especially in a family that loves to celebrate. I’m glad to see also that little sister sent a Valentine to Joshua. What a family. Love, from Grandpa (and Grandma too).
I really like this blog! I love BOTH Daddy AND Josh! Thanks daddy!
Humph. I don’t really like to share my valentines … but I suppose for Joshua, I will make an exception.
You truly are the soul of generosity.