Dear Sarah,
Hello Princess! We had another busy day – nothing extraordinary or unusual – just one of many that flow together to make the beautiful, crazy tapestry of our life. I’m taking a quiet moment to write and tell you that I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I pushed you aside this morning when you wanted to climb in my lap (I already had a keyboard there and was “busy”).
I’m sorry I didn’t let you kiss my cheek (I was eating breakfast and was “too busy for kisses”).
I’m sorry I didn’t snuggle in for another book at school time. Your request was so simple and sweet and yet, I pushed you aside. It was time to move on to the next thing.
I’m sorry I fussed at you for pulling on my jacket in the library. I told you to “hold on” and then was impatient with your tugs. Even though I could see the irony in the moment – you were “holding on” but not “waiting” like I intended – I still felt irritable.
I’m sorry I didn’t take the time for a real embrace this evening. I was hurrying out the door and didn’t pause for more than a quick brush as I went by.
Please forgive me. You are my precious daughter and I love you. Your smile and cheerful bounce brings a deep, contented joy to my heart. Even though I was busy and distracted today, you remained radiant and full of warmth. I am so blessed to be your mother and I am honored that God chose to place you in our family. May tomorrow bring a new sweetness to our relationship.
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23
Most of all, I am excited to see the way God is pulling and tugging at your heart. He wants to do wonderful things in your life. His love is everlasting and unconditional (unlike a tired, preoccupied mommy). He is calling you to Himself.
And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory. Romans 8:30
Here is a little glimpse of your day.
Contemplating your (okay, Daniel’s) spelling list – checking off the words you finished.
“I’ve got these words down pat.”
Some stair sliding with the boys. All part of a busy day.
You bring joy and laughter to our home, Little Princess.
Love,
Mommy
Hi, sweet Katherine. There is nothing more precious than a parent appologizing to a child. Good for you. Humbling and dear. I recall Nana saying she was sorry–and I think it’s of huge significance to a child!
I love you and am proud of you. Aunt Kate
How very interesting to read about your feelings of having neglected some of the sweet moments with Sarah — I had no idea it had been that kind of day. God’s economy of grace is truly remarkable. After I came home from work, I was waiting to make a phone call after 5 pm, and the boys were hogging the computers, so I was ‘idle’. I’m not really into the book I am reading these days, and so I sat around the living room and had a very special time with Sarah, bouncing her on my lap in simulated ‘earthquakes’, pretending I was asleep (she tries to tickle my feet to wake me up) and later playing hide & seek with her around the house. We had a great 45 minutes, and I think she went away well-satisfied.
I’m not trying to one-up you, my Kathy; I’m just in awe at God who knew that Sarah needed to be loved-up and provided the fulfillment of that need through me, this time. I think this is just one more example of why parents come in pairs, so that one can pinch-hit for the other in communicating God’s love.
Oh, my, Kathy and Tim–God is so good, isn’t he? Kathy’s post and Tim’s comment both have me all choked up. Think I’ll go give someone a snuggle! Thanks for sharing your heart with Sarah and letting us listen in.
You need to warn us before posting something like this. I was at work, scanning my new blog posts. As I read through this one, I started to cry. I had to stop reading. Then I read the reply from Tim and just about lost it completely.
You may not realize, though I hope you do, what a lasting impact this has on a child. It is crucial that parents are willing to admit they are not perfect and do make mistakes. A Parent who acknowledges this, and offers humble apologies to the children when needed, will go a long way toward inculcating humility into the child’s heart. Parents unwilling to swallow their pride end up with proud children.
Tim, special moments like you described will also be remembered many years later as the best times in a child’s life. They will be regarded as reassuring evidence of the parents’ love.
Kathy, what a wonderful letter to your dear daughter. I think it is terrific that you can apologize to her. I’m sure she didn’t notice your slights nearly as much as you. I’ve noticed that we parents always seem to feel far worse about these things than the children take them. Your children are blessed to have such a caring and loving momma.
Awesome to see grace in action….tandem parenting – the best way to go.
Wow! Tim, I didn’t even think about the fact that you and Sarah had that special time. What an amazing God we serve. I was so focused on the details for the meeting (changing agendas and team lists) that I was only peripherially aware of your fun interactions.
As De’Etta says — tandem parenting! So nice to be part of a team.
We are praying hard for friends with husbands deployed and dealing with families on their own. Difficult!
Carl – sorry to spring an emotional blog on you! Not my intention. I had a sweet picture of Sarah to post and was just overwhelmed with my inadequacies as a mother. Since one of the reasons Tim and I started this blog was to create something for our children – a piece of our hearts and thoughts – I thought I would post a letter of apology. In a strange twist of events, Sarah and Rachel are spending the night at a friend’s house this weekend so I don’t have the opportunity to read her the letter or spend some snuggle time with her.
Lovely post.
Dorothy
GRACE . . . it’s one of my favorite words. I also love Tim’s comments. How cool God is!!!! He knew exactly what she needed and I think “parent apologies” are so needed. I love for the kids to see that we are not perfect and that hopefully they will be able to see grace and forgiveness through our mistakes not just theirs
Awesome post!