As a mother of five precious, sweet, adorable, rascally, loud, raucous children, my ears are often overburdened. There is a misconception that a large family means a lot of mess and work, mouths to feed and laundry to wash.
Wait, that’s not a misconception at all. That’s my life! Hey!
Still, the aspect that people might not consider is all the voices accompanying the mess. Talking, laughing, fighting, arguing, discussing, debating, teasing, bargaining, mediating. It’s all right here in my house. Lots of it. Times five, or maybe 7 if you add in the grownups. I guess if you start throwing parents into the jumble, you’ve also got judging, teaching, rebuking, comforting, and praising.
Was there a bit of a cold snap today, Rachel? Poor dear, she’s shivering.
The Bible is overflowing with instruction on how we should relate to others through our words. A phrase I’ve been using lately with the children is “Speak Words of Life!” I want their words to be ones of encouragement and love. To build each other up rather than tear them down.
The children (the older ones) have all memorized this verse:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
Rachel obviously needs to work on her attitude.
Speaking “Words of Life” is something I am constantly working on with the children. It is so much easier to speak words of death. To hurt, criticize, tease, mock, and destroy. I’d love to think of a creative way to encourage the kids to be more active in applying this teaching. Maybe a Words of Life Jar or a Words of Life Points Chart where you are rewarded for kind and compassionate speech. Something where they would be on the look out for specific instances in their own conversation and the conversation of their siblings.
In our Proverbs study on Tuesday, I was amazed at how many Words of Life verses God brought to our attention.
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked. 10:11
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. 10:19
The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment. 10:21
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out.
The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. 10:31-32
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9
Once again God’s Word penetrates to the heart of our family and shines its light on our challenges, struggles and desire to glorify Him and be transformed in His likeness.
Kathy
Project 365 – Day 195
What a good blog! In my mind, your topic is illustrated perfectly by my memory of the pictures that we always had in our living room growing up. Mom and Dad had decoupaged pictures to go with Psalm 1 but I always remembered the picture of the tree that went along with verse 3…”he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth fruit in his season…” Memorizing God’s Word will give us life and we will bring forth (good) fruit and not wither like the leaf. I’m a visual learner so the pictures helped illustrate the point perfectly! (see I did pay attention to what was hanging up, mom & dad!!)
Words of Life are a constant struggle in a house full of kids but memorizing verses is a good learning tool! We’ve embarked on this and it has been quite helpful! Who can argue with a bible verse??….
For a practical application – what about doing something with a tree of leaves with the leaves representing the words of life? Unkind words would cause the leaves to come off…..and, of course, you wouldn’t want a tree where the leaves were all gone!! A little cheesy perhaps? Sorry, I’ve got the tree illustration stuck on my brain!
WOW. I love this, Katherine. To speak ‘words of life rather than of death’. What a remarkable challenge. Thanks for sharing this with your 64 yr. old aunt who needs this lesson as much as your 5 kids.
I love you. Keep on teaching ME, please. Aunt Kate
Oh, what an appropriate blog for our family. This can be a minute by minute challenge in this household. I find it odd that even though the Littles don’t speak great English yet, they have learned how to use their tongues in cruel ways….and of course, throw in my children that do speak good Enlish! Ugh! And I know I don’t always follow that verse myself.
Thanks for a great post.
Hi Kathy,
I have to say that YOU are such a good example of speaking life! It’s the very rare occassion that there is not genuine kindness and praise on your tongue. I can’t think of a time when there wasn’t but I’m sure there must be those times because you say so.
I love Posie’s idea of the tree!
Words can can be used to build or tear down…spoken to hurt or bring healing. Peter felt and heard those words…words he heard from no one else…words that were audible and acted out…words of encouragement and healing, words of real life…eternal life!
Peter replied, “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life.”
John 6:68 “The Message”
We have these word issues, too–and I am thinking specifically of when we were traveling, cooped up in a car with not enough sleep. I keep trying to say things about “no derogatory speech” (my mom’s admonishment) and “building others up” and “being kind.” I think I’m going to try the “speak life” phrase now. Have you read Lisa Welchel’s “Creative Correction”? She has lots of very creative ideas for all kinds of issues, but honestly, a lot of them sound so exhausting to keep on top of. I think one time she had her son go out and bang a nail into a piece of wood whenever he said something unkind. Then, after a week or so, he went and pulled them out and she said something about how even after you’ve apologized, hurtful words leave a mark (the hole). Once you’ve solved this issue, let me know.
I’m reading a great book on this subject called Say Goodbye to whining by Turansky. He goes into great detail into teaching about Honor. I’m really enjoying it and already applying it in our home. With all these kids, I hear a lot of damaging words and I would like to show them how to build each other up instead. Great post!
Lisa – I’ve heard great things about that book. I’d love to get the videos. I wonder if the library has them. You’ll have to blog about what you’re learning.
“speak words of life” – just the phrase I need. Thanks for sharing. I’ve found myself saying this in about a hundered different ways this week….and in a long-winded manner. I’ll simply do a devotional with the children – introduce the phrase and this will be a much easier way to communicate what I mean than lecturing over and over. LOL
Thanks.
Yep, I’ll blog once I’m done reading. I’m over half way done and we’re going to go over the book as a family afterwards. It’s a really good read. I didn’t realize that they had videos too. I’ll have to look into them! Thanks!
Words of Life – LOVE the post. We have one less child than you do, but STILL our house is so noisy at times! I guess I’m used to it, but my mom and my aunt pointed out NUMEROUS times over the last week that we were together how noisy the kids are and tried to get them to be quiet… the singing, the talking, the drumming… etc… I guess I just don’t mind it. One day they’ll be gone and I won’t hear these cute little voices singing anymore! It can sometimes be quite draining, but I sure wouldn’t want them quiet all the time.