All posts by Tim

Family

Bittersweet Return

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It is always bittersweet to return from a vacation, especially a long one. Two weeks in the hot Texas sun, playing games with my family and reading books poolside – what a glorious way to end the summer! But I am glad to be home, to feel the crisp morning Northwest air, to sleep in my own bed, to jump back into the river of time that sweeps us along in this life that God has given us.

this is a motley crew

Film maker Joshua and his crew.

Our plane was delayed in Dallas, and it seemed quite late when we finally got home. Our dear friend Jen-Bob, not content with picking us up at the airport, also cleaned our house and stocked our fridge with surprises, regaling us with stories and laughter until we could no longer keep our eyes open. A “Welcome Home” sign from Michelle and Jen-Bob’s “10 Reasons I’m Glad They Are Home” on our whiteboard, helped us to know that we had been missed.

pretty girls

swimming girls

Sarah and her cousin, Aydia, have a LITTLE too much fun together.

I had big plans for our 14 days in Texas, some of which failed to materialize; even so, it was a very successful vacation by any measure. Along with Kathy’s parents, all three of her brothers were there, with two of their wives, four cousins (including the celebrity, Baby Logan), a friend from Michigan, and a Great Uncle and his friend, rounding us out to 21 in all.

family gathering

Hot and sunny and one big family.

We swapped stories, played cards and board games, drove around in golf carts, ate many delicious meals, hunted geocaches, and devoured bowl after generous bowl of ice cream at the local PICO’s store. The pool (the length of a football field) was mostly ours alone, and many happy hours were spent splashing, floating, swimming and just sitting with our feet dangling in the cool spring water.

tahlia and rachel

Tahlia and Rachel are buddies!

We worked on several crafts and projects as a family, and gathered each evening to hear the kids read aloud “the Chapter” from the gospel of Matthew, and to discuss it together. I was permitted to teach Sunday School the first week at a local church, and Kathy’s Dad was invited to preach there the second Sunday.

chapter time

Time to read the Bible chapter!

Several went fishing, some visited the local museum, and there were many shopping excursions to replenish food stocks. I worked from the library two days, and we checked email sporadically. Kathy’s Dad quashed a termite infestation and worked around the yard. Nerf wars raged and pictures were snapped by the hundreds. Everyone seemed to work hard to get along and to be kind, which was no small accomplishment with so many people underfoot.

we love grandad!

Grandad (and the golf cart) are the true favorites of our time in Texas.

Normal life is sometimes hard. We are busy people, and it is no easy task to serve in our church, raise and school our children, do our work and maintain our home. But it seems easier, somehow, to put our shoulder to the wheel, with such warm and golden memories treasured up from this summer vacation.

Tim

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Daily Life, Swimming

Poolside in Washington

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When we first moved to Washington State in March of 1999, we arrived on the heels of the rainiest winter in recent memory. “It rained for 90 days in a row,” people would exclaim, shaking their heads mournfully. The rains continued as we settled into our rental home in Kirkland, and we worried about what it would be like to live here year-round.

pool lounging

David, Daniel and Emma hang out by the pool.

Kathy used to ‘chase the sun’ by driving around town with our three oldest children, looking for blue sky and trying to get near it. East of Seattle, the sun can often be found near the lakes; she bought a detailed map and learned where all the parks were, in her search for sunshine.

Usually the month of June can be relied upon for some serious rain; summer may reign in other parts of the country, but June in Western Washington is often cold and wet. So I was skeptical when Kathy talked about joining the local pool association this summer.

cool goggles

We buy goggles in bulk at Costco.

“It’s not like we have a lot of extra money kicking around,” I reminded her. Between Kathy’s recent crown replacement and my allergy shot bill, we’re hard-pressed to meet our bills these days. “Besides, you’ll go to the pool, what, maybe four times? How often is it going to be sunny and warm between now and August?”

One of Kathy’s great strengths is that when she thinks something is important, she pursues it tenaciously. She began assembling her money and marshalling her reasons:

“Let’s see, if I join before the 31st, the price will come down from $425 to $395. If six of us go to the pool at least 20 times, that brings the price down to less than $3 per person, per visit.”

Diving girl!

Rachel spent quite a bit of time this afternoon, teaching Sarah diving tips.

Kathy and I are fundamentally different in this respect: the idea of being somewhere away from home to relax appeals greatly to her, and not to me. My home is where I want to be, most of the time – but ‘home’ for Kathy comes with an associated burden of laundry and dishes and a need to ‘tidy up’. The image of reclining at the pool with her friends proved a strong lure to my beloved:

“OK, so I’ve got $120 from our exercise challenge, and $150 from setting up that checking account (some of the banks in our area have begun incentivizing new customers). If I refer Michelle and we split the referral bonus, that’s another $25.

Two of Kathy’s friends gave her the $45 ‘Diet Fund’ to which the three of them had contributed as an incentive in their weight-loss program, which brought her to $340. Add a bit from the anniversary check that Kathy’s folks gave us, and the pool membership was paid for, all with guilt-free money!

look at that boy go!

beautiful!

David is surely ready to join the swim team!

In spite of my gloomy weather predictions and Eeyore-like shaking of the head, now Kathy and the kids spend the afternoons at the pool, soaking up this unprecedented June sunshine, as our hot, sunny weather persists into a third week of record-breaking temperatures. The pool deck area has tables and two propane grills so that you can eat a picnic dinner right there at the pool with minimal cleanup and fuss.

“I better break out my Grilling cookbooks,” Kathy remarked smugly.

Tim

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Musings

The Tyranny of the Urgent

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One of the unfortunate things about my life is that I’m often too busy living and reacting, and I don’t end up accomplishing the things I set out to do.

For example, I would like to be the kind of husband that cherishes my wife, and doesn’t take her for granted — the kind of husband who continues to court his wife and models this in front of his children. I would also like to be the kind of father who has time to spend with his children, and who is not to busy to give each of his sons and daughters regular, focused attention.

Sadly, my good intentions rarely work out. I mean well, but when the dust of a busy day settles, I find that other urgent things, like work, ministry and sleep (not to mention my own desire for entertainment) leave no time to do the things I consider most important. For this reason, I reluctantly decided to adopt some goals again this year.

Sarah's Special Day
Of course, there was no reluctance in making time to plant some tomatoes with Sarah.

I’m not a person who likes goals. I don’t enjoy the inevitable feeling of guilt when I fail to meet them. I don’t value structure for its own sake, and I hate being told what I have to do, even if I’m doing the telling. I don’t have much respect for the mechanical and repetitive, preferring to be a ‘free spirit’, unfettered by mundane routine.

Kathy’s been listening to a number of Dee Duke sermon series lately, and (when she leaves them running in my car CD player) I’ve been tuning in as well. Duke is an advocate of goals and disciplines, and is often challenged by this sort of question:

“Shouldn’t we be motivated to [insert discipline here -- prayer, reading your Bible, confessing your sins, whatever] out of love for Jesus, not by rote or as an obligation?”

Dee answers: “Sure. The problem is, I only feel like doing these things about once a week. In any case, how do you go about loving Jesus? Jesus said, “If you love me, obey my commandments.” (John 14:5)

A family game of Zooloretto
“If you love me, you’ll let me win.” (NOT what Jesus said.)

As much as I might prefer to be a ‘free spirit’, I can’t argue with results. In fact, I hardly have any results at all to argue with. So I wrote for myself some goals again this year. Craftily, I associated my goals with my computer-game-playing chip allowance, so that the more goals I complete each week, the more computer game chips I receive. Not surprisingly, I’ve found myself much more willing to pursue my goals than I am when there is no consequence to neglecting them, and I am finding time to do the things that I’ve set out in advance to do.

Here is a partial list of my goals, which I track on a weekly basis:

  • Read at least 12 chapters of my Bible each week
  • Pray with my wife twice a week
  • Read at least one Bible chapter to my children three times a week
  • Take my wife out of the house on a date at least once a month
  • Go on a “special day” outing with at least one of my children each week
  • Pray for each of the 22 families on my prayer cards at least 6 times each week
  • Lose a pound each week until I meet my weight loss goal
  • Write an encouraging card to someone each week
  • Conduct an in-home date (usually take-out food and a movie) at least once a month with my wife
  • Write a blog post each week
  • Play at least 75 board games in 2009

I have to complete each of the weekly goals by Sunday night, which is why I am writing this blog post right now at 8:30 pm on a Sunday. Sure, it’s a bit hurried and lame sometimes, when I try to squeeze it all into one evening, after our Small Group meeting. But I have found that if I don’t set my face like flint (or at least like oatmeal) against the tyranny of the ‘urgent’, I won’t find time to do these things at all.

Joshua and Dee Duke
We forced Joshua to sneak up behind Dee Duke for this ‘photo op’.

I’ll grant you, it is a bit tricky to pray with Kathy while writing an encouraging note and playing a board game, especially if I try to exercise on the elliptical machine and read my Bible at the same time. I’m just not much of a multi-tasker, truth be told.

How about you? Are you the kind of person who revels in goals, making to-do lists for yourself each day? Or do you have another way that you are able to accomplish the things that you set out to do?

Tim

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Musings

The Glory of the Lord

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Walking out my front door a few days ago, I noticed an overcast sky with heavy fog, which matched my spirits precisely. I’m usually tired and discouraged in the morning, unless I’ve had more than the usual amount of sleep. I viewed the day with cynical disfavor.

“Hmmmph. I wonder what this day will bring,” I said to myself sarcastically.

Driving along toward the highway, I began to wake up. “Good morning, Lord,” I prayed reflexively. Then I thought about how much I didn’t mean the word ‘good’. But for God, every morning is good, and full of His new mercies. Even the worst day in all of history, the day that Jesus was crucified, is called ‘Good Friday’.

I began to thank the Lord for creating this new day, and for loving me and adopting me into His family. I told Him that I was ready and willing to do whatever He wanted me to do on this day, and I wondered how God would answer that prayer.

As I drove, I noticed that a small section of the sky had turned a deep pink, the kind you generally find only in artificial flavorings and radioactive materials. The Cascade Mountains stood as cardboard cutouts, propped up against the sky, lit from behind by the rising sun. Admiring their beauty, I thanked God for his creation, which truly is glorious. Just then, I reached a point in the road where the fields on my right opened up, and Mt. Rainier suddenly loomed into sight, dwarfing the other mountains, wreathed in luminous pink cotton candy.

Mt. Rainier
Not my actual view — I didn’t have my camera with me. But this is the same mountain.

Loving God is like that: just when your heart is full of joy and you think there is nothing He could do that is better than what He has already done, He shows you something that is ten times more glorious.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked me to stand in for him in the AWANA program at our church. He had to be at work that evening, and needed a ‘warm body’ to take his place – no particular skills needed. Since my body is nearly always warmer than room temperature, and there are many skills that I lack, I fit the bill perfectly.

I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I’ve been somewhat soured by my lack of success in the year I spent working with the fifth and sixth grade youth program at our church. But I couldn’t really say “No” to my friend, and the need seemed real, so I showed up at the appointed time, with no expectations of experiencing God’s glory at all. My duties were minimal, and mostly involved standing around, observing a smoothly-running program. “This isn’t so bad,” I congratulated myself.

Toward the end of the evening, the kids assembled in larger groups for ‘council time’, where a selected leader taught them a lesson from the Bible. I wandered between two of the groups, listening in and generally looming (in case of behavioral issues).

One of the teachers had prepared a lesson that culminated in a presentation of the Gospel, using the ‘wordless book’ (a book with solid-colored pages, each color symbolizing a key part of the Gospel message). I returned to that classroom just as the teacher was concluding her message, and was startled into full wakefulness when she said:

“If any of you have never prayed to accept God’s gift of Salvation, and would like to, go stand next to Mr. Tim.”

I tried to look worthy of this honor as the first- and second-grade children looked at me dubiously. To my surprise, several stood up and walked over. Then a few more. By the time the teacher collected her things and handed off control to another leader, there were eleven kids standing around me.

We brought the kids into another classroom and their teacher asked them to repeat and explain the gospel message they had just heard. She asked them to articulate the reason for the decision they were making. Then she had them follow her in a prayer, asking Jesus to come into their hearts, to be their Lord and Savior. The kids prayed along dutifully, some cognizant of the momentous decision, others just there for the novelty of the experience.

As for me, I went home very thoughtful, and privileged to have been there when God acted to reveal His glory.

Tim

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Budget & Money, Events

Come, Rejoice with Us!

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Last April, Kathy and I performed a comprehensive review of our finances. We discovered that we had allowed our consumer debt to slowly increase, month after month, to the point that we owed nearly $20,000 on various credit cards. Although we own both of our aging vehicles ‘free and clear’, we had made a practice of living above our means on a monthly basis. In just a few years of self-indulgence, we grew our indebtedness into a substantial millstone, hanging around our necks.

our mountain

Our debt seemed mountain high.

“We’ve got to do something,” Kathy implored me.

My wife is the more fiscally-conservative in our marriage. Debt bothers her more than it does me, and (although she can spend some serious money at a Target sale quicker than you can say “50% off”) she inherited many good financial habits from her thrifty parents.

Although I also am blessed with parents who are frugal, money has sometimes come easily to me, and so I can be a little cavalier about it. “Easy come, easy go,” I sometimes think. Blessed with the gift of generosity, I don’t always draw a clear distinction between giving to others and giving to myself.

Over the past ten months, we have seen the hand of the Lord time and time again in the area of finances. In spite of unexpected expenses and repairs, we’ve made steady progress on reducing our indebtedness. Each time that we have faced a hurdle in expenses, God has provided a way to overcome that difficulty without going further into debt.

Finally, the day arrived: our tax refund was deposited into our account, and we were able to pay off the last of the remaining debt.

No more debt!
Our debt is finally gone, after eleven months of God’s goodness!

As soon as I woke up, I fired up my computer to check to see if the promised deposit was there. “Did the money arrive?” Kathy asked, before I had finished logging in.

“I hope so … hold on … YES!” I checked again, just to be sure.

We gathered the kids and I let Kathy push the ‘Continue’ button on the funds transfer. “As of this moment, we don’t owe anyone anything except for mortgage debt,” I announced. Technically, I was wrong, since we still have another kind of debt:


Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. — Romans 13:8

Kathy and the kids trundled off to co-op, but I found my mind circling back to this startling truth: we don’t have any more debt hanging over us! It felt strange, as it does when you’re in college and your last paper is turned in and your last final is complete, and Summer Break has begun.

My mind turned to consider the parable of the lost coin. In Luke 15, Jesus tells a story about a woman who loses a coin, and then finds it again:


Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

We thought about having a party, and inviting all the people we know, to rejoice with us. Not to boast, but simply to celebrate. It wouldn’t be a fancy party (since we’re staying on a budget), but it might be an opportunity to encourage others. “If Tim and Kathy could do it,” people might say to themselves, “then surely anyone can get out of debt.”

a girlie tea party

Not our actual party. A Valentine’s Day tea party.

So we’re having a party.

‘Open House’ format, from 4 pm to 8 pm on Saturday, March 7th. Games, fellowship, food and fun.

If you read this blog and know where we live, consider yourself invited. Come, rejoice with us!

david is 8 years old!

We won’t make you wear the party hat unless it’s your birthday.

Please bring something tasty to share, and also write down (on a 4 x 6 card or something) an idea you have used to help save money (or avoid spending it altogether). We’ll compile the ideas, print ‘em out and make them available to the contributors, sort of like compiling a stewardship cookbook.

A time to celebrate!

Tim

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