All posts by tje

BoysInBrown

A Household of Men

In celebration of Rachel’s recent birthday, Kathy and the girls have gone off for a birthday overnight, leaving me and the boys home alone. So far, as befits the men of destiny that we are, we’ve accomplished quite a few things on our list:

  • Vacuum the dining room
  • Call all our friends and chat with them
  • Dust the furniture
  • Shop for matching clothes for our next family photo
  • Do seven loads of laundry
  • Exercise to a twenty-minute aerobic workout video
  • Clean each of the bathrooms
  • Cook a healthy, balanced meal with lots of vegetables

Boys in Brown
Men of Destiny

Oh, wait, that wasn’t our list. Here’s ours:

  • Litter the dining room with woodcarving chips
  • Let all calls go to voicemail
  • Put our feet on the furniture
  • Shop online for a new computer video graphics card
  • Create seven loads of laundry
  • Lay on the couch while watching a Hornblower video
  • Use each of the bathrooms
  • Eat pancakes and ice cream

There’s really not much difference between those lists, is there? And here Kathy was worried about leaving us to our own devices! Come home soon, Kath! We miss you … :)

Tim

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tn_RJKirkland

Twelve Things I Love About Rachel

My oldest daughter recently celebrated her 12th birthday, and Kathy asked me, “Aren’t you going to write a post about Rachel for her birthday?”

Talk about time flying. It seems only yesterday she was 11 …

One of our many traditions is that, on each child’s birthday, Kathy and I nostalgically reminisce about the actual day of that child’s birth. Rachel’s birth-day is memorable in terms of weather (a very cold Michigan day), in terms of inconvenient timing (born at 4:50 am during a snowstorm), in terms of worry for me (Kathy lost a lot of blood at her birth), and in terms of the joy of having a first daughter. The kids never seem to tire of hearing the story each year — of course, I try to liven it up with snide comments and family jokes.

As important as the birthday is, what happens after that seems much more significant, which is why it is no trouble at all for me to come up with a list about my beloved daughter:

Twelve things I love about Rachel …

  1. She has a quick wit, and a clever and quirky sense of humor
  2. Rachel loves to laugh, and has the rare sense of timing necessary to maximize the humor of a remark. Her wry but soft-spoken comments often have me straining to hear what she says, not wanting to miss out, even if I am the one being roasted. She often fires an amusing Parthian shot, just as she exits a room — leaving her victims ruefully shaking their heads in admiration of her verbal prowess.

    waiting for the mail

  3. She believes in Justice
  4. If there is anyone who is most like me in my love for justice, it is Rachel. She carefully watches the ebb and flow of family relationships and is quick to point out any improper favoritism (or lack thereof), especially among her siblings. Holding unflinchingly to personal integrity, she knows the difference between fairness and justice and seeks to order her own conduct according to the highest standards.

    princess in purple

  5. She is kind to David and Sarah
  6. Reading books tirelessly or playing with them, Rachel enjoys her youngest two siblings and cares for them graciously, sharing her time and toys unstintingly. In spite of Sarah’s tendency to use her sister’s things without permission, Rachel is patient and almost unfailingly kind to her little sister, even to the extent of giving her little jobs so she’ll feel useful. Last night, as I went to bed, I ran into Sarah, heading into the bathroom with a plastic cup. “Rachel makes me get her a glass of water every night,” she informed me cheerfully. “Yeah,” observed a gently sarcastic voice from the top bunk. “Every night she climbs up and begs me, asking if she can go get water for me; so sure enough, I ‘make‘ her do it.” Rachel has earned the trust and loyalty of her smallest siblings, and is storing up great treasure in heaven for herself through her consistent kindness to them.

    sarah and rachel

  7. She is generous
  8. Buying gifts for her siblings or sharing her stuffed animals, Rachel does not cling tightly to possessions over relationships. Last year when I bought some gifts for a missionary family of our acquaintance, I put them all on the table and allowed the children to ‘buy’ them from me, so that they could give the gifts in their own name. Rachel did not disappoint me, but dug deep into her bank to purchase a number of the gifts. She carefully tithes on her income, and (like her Mom) is open-handed with kind words and encouragement.

  9. She is a good friend
  10. Rachel is a soft-hearted girl, and she doesn’t enjoy sarcasm that hurts, or comments that really put others down. She is also somewhat of a thoughtful and solitary girl, often preferring to be alone, yet she seems to thrive (like her mama), on good girl friends. One thing I know: when she has a good friend, she knows how to keep them. Rachel is loyal and true and sweet and fun, and almost always thinks of the needs of her friends ahead of her own.

    birthday girls

  11. She loves music
  12. Last summer I won an iPod Shuffle, and I immediately thought to give it to Rachel. Ever since she was a little girl, she has always been the first to learn the lyrics to a new song, and has spent many a happy hour singing along in the car or in her room. As she leads worship in the children’s program at church or listens to the Christian radio station, it is exciting to see how her love for music draws her along in her love for Jesus. She is a little more of a hard-rocker than others in our home, but not obnoxiously so; she pushes us to listen to new music and stretch our ears a bit.

  13. She loves to serve at AWANA
  14. This year Rachel was invited to serve as a helper in the Cubbies AWANA class, teaching three- and four-year-old children in our church’s Wednesday night program. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that my daughter would enjoy the prospect of trying out her spiritual giftedness (teaching? service? evangelism?) at church. So far, we hear nothing but good things from the adult teachers, who are already campaigning for Rachel to help them again next year, in spite of the temptation of the Middle School program.

    sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters

  15. She has a soft spot in her heart for animals
  16. Even before she could talk, Rachel clearly loved animals, especially kittens and cats. That deep, abiding love has continued, fueled perhaps by our staunch resistance to the idea of having a dog or cat as a pet. Rachel’s advocacy has been the reason for our adoption of both guinea pigs, in spite of the sorrowful demise of Martin, our family’s first pet. One day I was trying to reassure her: “When you grow up, you can have a cat of your own, or even more than one!” Rachel countered with her own assessment. “It is true that I love animals now, but what if I grow up and don’t care about them the same way any more? I should have a pet now, just in case.” It is hard to argue with such logic.

  17. She is cheerful
  18. When we named her, we chose ‘Joy’ as Rachel’s middle name, in contravention of our intent to use middle names to honor family members. At the time, we were focused on our joy, but Rachel has made that name her own, in the cheerful and joyful way she relates to our family. She truly takes after her mother in that, for which I (and her future husband, should the Lord bless her in that way) are very grateful.

    journals from posie

  19. She knows her Bible
  20. Throughout the years, Rachel has paid careful attention to her Bible lessons at home and at church, and understands her Bible remarkably well, for a person her age. Her ability to interpret the scriptures and her knowledge of God’s character are the envy of many of her instructors. It is a delight to my soul to hear her explaining spiritual truths to her younger brothers.

  21. She loves Jesus
  22. As the apostle says in 3 John 1:4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Throughout her life, it has given us great joy to know that Rachel gave her heart to Jesus at an early age. Like every other Believer, she struggles with the invisible nature of God, and she recently confided to me, “Sometimes I don’t feel very close to Jesus.” But she prays and she reads her Bible and she walks in righteousness, growing in grace and in favor with God.

  23. She asks hard questions and thinks deeply
  24. Of all the children, Rachel has always been the one to ask ‘thorny’ questions. I remember picking blackberries when she was three, and how she got a thorn in her finger even after she prayed that she would be protected from the prickers. “Why does God let bad things happen, Daddy?” she asked. Just tonight, she engaged Kathy in a long discussion about why people take drugs. “Did you ever take drugs, Mom?” Rachel is never afraid of being too direct. Joshua loves using Rachel to ask the questions, when he is curious but too reserved to ask.

The other day, Kathy was shopping with her two girls, and the checkout cashier commented on their resemblance to my wife: “You have Two Mini Me’s there,” she laughed. Not to in any way minimize her uniqueness as a person, but I think one of the nicest things I can say about my daughter is that she reminds me of my beloved wife.

rachel is so beautiful

Not a bad start to your life, sweet Rachel. :)

I love you!
Tim-Daddy

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Missing Mark

Today is my brother’s birthday. Well, by the time I post this blog entry, it will no longer be his birthday where he is, but who’s counting? It is, as they say, the thought that counts.

Sartorial Magnificence

Mark always was a snappy dresser.

I’m sure I’ve written about him before, but I miss him a lot. He’s stationed in Norway, after only one year living locally; I do wish I’d made better use of that time. We played some games and Laser-Tag together, and celebrated various holidays with him and his family, but it wasn’t quite enough. At the time, we had hoped he might choose to retire here, maybe after a three- or four-year tour at Fort Lewis, and so it didn’t seem so urgent that we see each other right now.

Mark and Jimmy-T at my wedding

Mark sure looks young (and shaggy) in this picture (left), from our wedding.

Mark has been a good brother to me; I frequently encourage my boys to be good brothers ‘like Uncle Mark was to me’. He protected me, encouraged me, taught me things, played with me, went ahead of me into various unknowns (jobs, schools, etc.) and loved me enough to sacrifice his interests on my behalf hundreds of times.

Mark and his Armored Personnel Carrier
He never would share the machine-gun, though.

Happy Birthday, beloved brother.

Tim

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hsbabutton-nominee

Vote Early and Often!

Kathy and I were flattered and thrilled to discover that our blog has been nominated for the 2007 Homeschool Blog Awards, an informal organization of bloggers desiring to promote homeschooling excellence through weblogs.


Click on the image above to vote
Since both of us write articles for our shared blog, we thought there was a natural fit with the Best Family or Group Blog category — we feel that our collaboration is a key factor in the success and uniqueness of our blog. Besides, Kathy is (by a two-to-one margin) the more prolific author, despite my earlier dominance over our entrée into the blogosphere. We were not, however, nominated for the Best Family category, and so we take joy in the category for which we were nominated: Best Homeschool Dad Blog.

There is one very obvious problem: although all five of my children are homeschooled, as Dad, I don’t do a lot of the actual homeschooling. Oh, we started out boldly enough:

Me: “OK, sweetie, if we’re going to homeschool these kiddos, how are we going to go about it?”

Kathy: “Well, I can handle the Bible teaching, language arts, history, geography, spelling and read-aloud curriculum, but I could really use some help in Math and Science.”

Me: “No problem! I can just see it now — the kids and I doing experiments in the back yard, working math problems on the whiteboard, it’ll be great fun!”

Fast-forward with me, eight or nine years:

  • Total number of science experiments conducted by Dad: 2
  • Total number of math lessons given: 3

It turns out that I was mostly talk. I do help with specific math problems from time to time, and I am fairly vigorous in my role as principal and disciplinarian (especially when I work from home). I’m verbally and financially supportive of Kathy in her role as teacher-of-five, but when it comes down to it, I haven’t made homeschooling instruction a priority, in terms of my own time.

So now we come to the crux of the matter: I’ve been nominated for ‘Best Homeschooling Dad’, but I have minimal credentials supporting such a nomination. Will I have the ethical fortitude to admit this lack, or will I shamelessly promote myself in spite of my inadequacy? You be the judge, as I present this snapshot:

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“A Day in the Life of a Homeschool Dad”, by Tim

4:59 am: Dad leaps out of bed cheerfully, a minute before the alarm, quoting an inspirational Bible verse for Mom’s edification. He quickly dresses in shorts, t-shirt and running shoes.

5:02 am: Dad wakes the kids and lead them in a rousing program of calisthenics and a two-mile run around the neighborhood, singing homeschool cadences while the children echo in chorus:

Happy homeschoolers run and think,
they don’t stop to take a drink!
They don’t rest and they don’t slow,
working hard to learn and grow!
Sound off: 1, 2!
Sound off: 4, 8!
Bring it on down: 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024!

Family PT
Not our actual family.

5:45 am: Everyone hits the showers, the first one clean is appointed sous-chef and selects the breakfast menu. Children work together (under Dad’s benign eye as Chef de Cuisine) to assemble a five-course gourmet confection and serve Mom breakfast in bed on an attractive tray with fresh-cut flowers. The kitchen is cleaned by the tardiest two children.

Gourmet Breakfast
Not our actual breakfast.

7:00 am: Dad prays with the children, and heads off to work, after distributing writing assignments and reviewing daily coursework lesson plans with each child.

Noon: After finishing his own Bible reading and prayer time, Dad spends his lunch hour editing and grading written assignments (submitted via e-mail) from each child, including an inspirational proverb and an encouraging comment in each response.

4:00 pm: Because of his efficiency at work and in order to demonstrate the priority he places on his family, Dad has arranged shortened work hours with his employer. He bursts through the front door promptly at 4 pm, and is mobbed by laughing children. Hugging each, he dismisses them for a short recess while he talks and prays with his wife (and presents her with a small gift he procured on the way home).

4:15 pm: Dad helps the children assemble the necessary equipment and ingredients for a science experiment and conducts a short lesson in the back yard. If it is raining, the experiment occurs in a gleaming utility shed/lab that Dad and the kids built last summer.

5:00 pm: All the kids and Dad work for an hour in the yard of an impoverished widow down the street, putting their love for God into practice as a service project.

Science Experiment
Not our actual science experiment.

6:00 pm: Over dinner, each child reports on the things for which they are thankful, and Dad moderates a short role-playing scenario featuring peer pressure and temptation. Applicable Bible passages are read and discussed. Mom is thanked and praised for the evening meal.

6:45 pm: Dad washes the dishes and cleans the kitchen while the children complete their science projects. He fixes a few loose drawer handles and re-arranges the freezer while waiting for the kids to reassemble.

7:15 pm: Each child takes turns working math problems on the whiteboard while Dad corrects and grades their problem sets. Dad assigns extra work or other punishments to any who have come to Mom’s negative attention over the course of the day.

8:00 pm: Dad reads the Bible to the children and tucks them each into bed, praying with each one individually.

8:30 pm: Mom and Dad discuss the day, their dreams and hopes for their children, and re-connect emotionally.

9:30 pm: Dad sits down to write an insightful blog article about parenting, marriage, homeschooling, or theology, carefully supporting his position with scripture (in the original Greek or Hebrew, of course).

Self Portrait
Not my actual profile.

10:00 pm: Dad corresponds with any church leaders or heads of State who may have written to him for ethical and spiritual advice or counsel.

10:30 pm: Mom and Dad go to bed, happily snuggling each other close.

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As you now no longer have to imagine, that is exactly how my day plays out (I’m lying). So remember, vote early and vote often (according to the applicable rules, of course), for your favorite Homeschooling Dad!

Tim

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Chastened and Repentant

Some of you may have wondered at my absence from the family photos that were posted yesterday. Let’s just say that I came to the negative attention of the Blog Taunting Police, whose authority is much more far-reaching than you might suspect. Kathy and I agreed not to further aggravate the matter by posting any pictures that featured me; I didn’t want to come across publicly as defiant or unrepentant, after all the wife- and blog-reader taunting that transpired.

Based on advice from legal counsel I have retained, I may further jeopardize my precarious standing with the BTP (Blog Taunting Police) unless I am very careful with any public statement. Suffice it to say that it is now permissible for me to post one of my favorite pictures from the CD, if only to prove that I did, in fact, attend the photo-shoot:

Sugar Daddy
As you can see, all was forgiven, at least by my daughters.

You’ll just have to take it from me that my ‘interview’ with the BTP (let’s just say they didn’t offer me any Nutella) has produced in me a sudden desire to cater to our discerning blog readers. I heartily repent of my evil and ill-conceived picture-posting-post (PPP).

As Kathy mentioned, I was very pleased with the CD of pictures we received, and was forced to eat some humble pie after all my swaggering statement: there is no way I could have taken these pictures (especially since I was, in fact, in several of them.

Today we had the privilege of lighting the first Advent Candle at church — we all wore red shirts and many of us dressed in black pants or skirts. (To clarify, Kathy wore a black skirt and I wore black pants, not the other way around.) We read a passage from Isaiah and related one of our family Christmas traditions. As we sat down, I felt vaguely disappointed … we dressed up all ‘matchy-matchy’, but nobody took hundreds of pictures of us! Gone was the happy chatter of camera shutters … how fleeting was our fame!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:6-7

Tim

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