Last Monday I hit the snooze button a few times too many, and missed my train. As a result, I drove in to work later and had to work quite a bit later (traffic being what it is, there is just no sense trying to drive home before 6:30 or 7:00 pm). By the time I got home, ate a little supper, did Rachel’s Special Day with her and read the Chapter to the rest of the kids, it was nearly time to go to bed. Weekends are much too far apart, in my opinion.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about hope. It seems to me that hope is a critical ingredient to happiness (or maybe joy) and is one of the major advantages that followers of Jesus have over the rest of mankind. I am frequently astonished that people who don’t love God are able to face their days at all, without the hope that we have in Christ. Sometimes it is no picnic even for those of us who have that hope … it is quite possible to become bogged down in the hopelessness of daily existence. One of the things I have had trouble with in my job is that there is no particular hope for advancement or improvement. For a few weeks after Christmas, I have been moping around, allowing myself to act as though I had nothing better to look forward to than a series of tedious and mundane workdays, briefly and occasionally interspersed with weekends. The promise of eternity seemed a long way off, and I found myself becoming depressed.

Christmas morning — breakfast at a very hopeful moment.

I think one of the big lies that Satan would have Christians believe is that our hope is only good for eternity, and that here on earth, we are no better off than the next guy. Nothing could be further from the truth! It dawned on me with surprising force that the hope that I have is a daily and powerful hope … I can eagerly look forward to each day to see what God is going to do in it, in spite of my distaste for the work that I do. The God that I serve is powerful and active and regularly intervenes in the most dismal of circumstances … I run the risk of missing His activity in my life if I wallow in gloomy hopelessness.

One of my favorite stories in the Old Testament is the account of Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego … three teenagers brought to Babylon after the fall of Jerusalem. I think it would have been very easy for a young Jew to become depressed and feel hopeless during that 70-year period of exile from Israel. These young men, selected for the service of this pagan enemy king, almost certainly resented being wrenched away from their families and the comforts of home, particularly if they were of the nobility. I think I would have been daunted by the hopelessness of captivity and reports of the eventual complete destruction of Jerusalem. But these young men held firm to their faith in God and continued to honor and glorify Him, even to the point of being willing to be burned alive rather than deny their Lord.

The other night Kathy asked me why it was that following God was so hard, sometimes. It made me think for a moment … is that necessarily true? I guess it all comes down to your view of the flesh and the unregenerate heart of sinful man. If you accept the Biblical description of the flesh and the way it wars against the spirit, then it is not surprising that obeying God would be hard, much, or even all of the time.

In the letters to the seven churches in the first few chapters of Revelation, the apostle John, writing through the Spirit, reports on what will be given ‘to he who overcomes’:

• the right to eat from the tree of life
• will not be hurt at all by the second death
• some of the hidden manna
• a white stone with a new name
• authority over the nations
• the morning star
• be dressed in white
• never have your name blotted out from the book of Life
• be acknowledged before the Father and His angels
• be made into a pillar in the temple of God
• the right to sit with Jesus on the throne of God

So, what is to be overcome? Certainly temptation to sin and the persecution of others. But for many of us, the most difficult thing to overcome is more subtle … it is the struggle between our spirit and our flesh, and it is not something that can be overcome once for all. Jesus said that the one who would follow him must take up his cross daily — a strange juxtaposition of the mundane daily struggle with sin and selfishness and the extreme heroic imagery of Jesus carrying His cross to Golgotha.

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I was reading recently in II Kings, chapter 4, which tells of two women of faith in the time of Elisha, the great prophet and successor of Elijah. The first story deals with a woman whose husband has died, and a creditor who intends to seize her children as slaves in payment for debts owed. Elisha’s solution seems strange to me … he instructs the woman to gather jars from all her neighbors to fill with oil from a single jar which miraculously doesn’t run out until the last jar is filled. She obeys, and sells the oil to pay her husband’s debts, saving her two boys from slavery.

Two of the women of faith in my life: my Sweetie and her Mom

Elisha could have rebuked the creditor in the name of the Lord. Considering the recent bear-mauling of those who disrespected this particular prophet, I’m sure the creditor would have happily forgiven the debt rather than face God’s displeasure. Or Elisha could have taken up a collection among the prophets and paid the debt. But the solution chosen accomplished several important objectives:

• it required the woman to further exercise her faith … she must have felt a little silly gathering jars to hold non-existent oil.
• it allowed the neighbors to participate — even the very poor usually have empty jars. And it possibly communicated a rebuke to those neighbors who had some wealth; according to the scriptures, this woman’s husband had revered the Lord … why was no more substantive help forthcoming from the neighbors?
• it legally satisfied the debt yet communicated God’s opinion on the matter to the creditor, in terms that left no room for doubt. If I had been that creditor, I would have quickly dedicated the money received from the sale of the oil as a guilt offering to the Lord, hoping to avoid further reproof.
• it was clearly God who helped, and not Elisha, who remains off-stage for most of the story.

There seem to be a few basic principles that I can derive from this story about the way that God works:

1. He values our faith and loves to help it to grow.
2. God wants us to participate in His work.
3. He places high importance on both justice and mercy.
4. God does not share His glory.

The second story is rather more poignant, at least to me. Elisha desires to reward a Shunnamite woman who has shown great respect and care for him over a period of several years by setting aside a room for him whenever he passes through her town. When Elisha asks his servant for ideas as to how to reward the woman, Gehazi answers: “She has no son and her husband is old.” Although the woman begs not to have her hopes raised, Elisha prophesies that she will have a son within a year, and she does. Later the son (possibly still a toddler) dies, and the woman comes to Elisha. Grasping his feet, she cries out, “I never asked for a son. Didn’t I ask you not to raise my hopes?” Elisha sends his servant to lay his staff on the boy’s face, and ultimately the boy is restored to life through Elisha’s prayerful intervention.

A picture taken while out on a walk, the day after Christmas.

This incident made me think of the way that God tenderly disappoints us. Sometimes we are living our lives, and God blesses us with some unexpected gift … something we didn’t ask for or even imagine was possible. Later, when we are more accustomed to it, that gift is taken away, and we are doubly hurt — disappointed once because of the removal of the gift, and a second time because of the perceived abatement of God’s favor. Like the Shunnamite woman, we are tempted to cry out to God: “I never asked for this blessing! Why do you raise my hopes, only to dash them?” If the gift was from God, and we enthusiastically thanked Him and gave Him glory for it when it first was given, how much more bitterly we feel the loss when it is taken away!

We know that all good gifts are from God, but it is hard to continue in faith when those good things are taken away. Even in her grief, the Shunnamite woman knew something that is good for me to remember:

When God disappoints us, our only recourse is to go to Him. When her son died, the woman put him in the prophet’s room, figuratively and literally committing him to God’s care. Without notifying her husband or anyone else, she hopped on a donkey and quickly made her way to Elisha … concealing her loss from everyone except the prophet himself. This strikes me as significant … I think sometimes when God disappoints me, I complain to everyone and their uncle about it, rather than holding to faith and going directly to God with my loss. This failure to exercise faith tarnishes God’s glory and damages our witness for Him. Complaining against God in this way also causes us to lose faith, rather than build it.

There is a popular Christian song that was recently released, entitled “Blessed Be Your Name” (written by Matt & Beth Redman). The chorus contains the refrain:

“He gives and takes away; He gives and takes away, but still my heart will say, ‘Blessed be Your Name!’”

Quoting from Job, the songwriter expresses the constant truth that God is our ultimate recourse, and that He is worthy of our praise in the bad times as well as the good times. As God’s plan to provide for my family has been unveiled in the past eight months, I have felt considerable disappointment and loss … in some ways more so now that I have a job than while I was still waiting for God to provide for us. I have lost time with my family … both in commute time and in increased hours (I was working only about six hours a day, on average, after I was laid off and while I was trying to start my web development business). This new job pays $15,000 less a year than I was earning before I was laid off from AT&T Wireless, and we are paying a tidy piece of change annually to rent this house in Lakewood. My work is considerably less rewarding than prior jobs and the status I currently hold is at least two steps below that of more recent positions. Perhaps worst of all, there is no clear avenue for advancement … I feel a little trapped, and disappointed in this turn in the path of my vocation. After such rapid advancement in salary and status in the first eight or nine years of my career, it is hard to understand why this is happening to me.

Why does God disappoint us? Is He somehow limited in His resources … does He say, “Well, I would have liked to give you good and perfect gifts, but I just couldn’t afford it. We’re a little low on blessings up here, what with the recession and all.” Of course not … I smile, just imagining Him saying such a thing.

Knowing what I do about God, I suspect that He gives the most generously when He seems to be taking away. On multiple occasions, the Bible records stories where people were raised from the dead … the extreme case of God giving in a context of having taken away. Why didn’t Jesus rush to Bethany to save Lazarus from dying, and his sisters from grief? In some sense, having faith made it worse for Martha and Mary … they knew that if Jesus had been there, that Lazarus would not have died. Faith (or at least limited faith) in such a circumstance becomes almost a liability. The scriptures record that Jesus deliberately delayed, arriving only after Lazarus was buried, so that the power of God would be revealed and that God would be glorified.

God permits bad things to happen to ‘good’ people, and disappointing things to happen to mediocre people. He is not intimidated by this, nor does He wring his hands, saying, “Oh dear, I don’t know what to do!” His power and mercy and grace and goodness are revealed most clearly in our weakness. Perhaps I need to follow Paul’s example and teaching and rejoice in these disappointing circumstances, clinging to my faith in God and waiting on His good pleasure and timing.

… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (Phillipians 4:11b)

Already I am able to recognize several good and perfect gifts:

• I am learning to be much more diligent in my work
• I am learning humility, albeit rather slowly and painfully
• My generosity is being tested and purified
• My children are benefiting from grandparent tutoring
• My skills and self-worth as a programmer are being challenged
• I have plenty of enforced idle time for Bible study during my daily commute on the train

And the list goes on. Praise be to our God, who gives so abundantly!

As we opened Christmas gifts this year, I thoroughly enjoyed the gratitude, wonder and enthusiasm of David, my three-year-old. He is such a satisfying gift recipient that I have to be almost physically restrained from rushing out to buy him more presents. At one point in the flurry of wrapping paper, however, I had to take him aside and rebuke him for disparaging a gift he had received. Rachel had given him a small bunny rabbit that she had won as a prize in Sunday School, and about which she was very excited. Upon opening the packet, he let the rabbit fall to the ground, turned covetous eyes on his brother’s gleaming remote-control sports car, and said, “I want a car like Daniel’s.” His unbridled greed and ungrateful spirit were revealed in all their ugliness, and I immediately took him aside and spoke sternly to him on the necessity of squelching expression of such sentiments. In the midst of the joy of Christmas, a rebuke was exactly what my son needed … I wonder if that is how it is for God, sometimes. Perhaps He holds us on His lap and steels His heart against our disappointment and quivering lower lip and teary eyes. While He might prefer to continue to shower us with more gifts, sometimes it is necessary that we be pulled away from all the presents and reminded of our obligation to receive those gifts with a grateful heart and with a generous spirit.

We all must learn the painful truth: none of us quite gets everything we want, although some come pretty close.

Blessed be Your Name, in the land that is plentiful;
when your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your Name.

Blessed be Your Name when I’m found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your Name.

Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your name, Jesus.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious Name!

Blessed be Your Name when the sun’s shining down on me,
when the world is all as it should be, blessed be Your Name.

Blessed be Your Name on the road marked with suffering,
though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your Name.

Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your name, Jesus.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious Name!
You give and take away, You give and take away,
my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your Name!

Everyone should own a copy of this song … I like the version recorded by Tree 63. When I was driving back and forth between the Duckabush and Seattle, I used to hear this song played in the morning and evening, most days … serving as spiritual bookends to my days. Now whenever I am discouraged or disappointed, I play this song … sometimes several times in a single day, often at top volume when I get home from a long day. I keep it on my laptop and all my home computers. It reminds me of God’s sovereignty and His love for me, and the allegiance I owe Him, whatever happens. It reminds me that I must daily choose to glorify my God.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:4-11)

I can hardly wait to see what blessings He pours out today, that I can turn back to praise.

Guitar chords for Blessed Be Your Name

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I heard an interesting sermon, a few Sundays ago. I think it is worth a recap; if nothing else, it will help me to better establish the important points in my own mind.

The topic of the sermon was prayer, or perhaps more accurately intercession. We started by examining Hebrews 7:23-26, which focuses on Christ’s role as our go-between, mediating between us and God the Father:

“Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need … one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens.”

This picture has nothing to do with my blog, but Kathy says I need to have some images for those who kind of skip over the blog text looking for current pictures.

I like the idea of being saved completely … no half-measures will do for me! Imagine if your salvation depended upon the priestly skills or character of Eli, Hophni, or Phineas? Even Aaron was a piece of work, leading the whole nation into idolatry while God was meeting with Moses only a few miles away. Or Samuel, who managed to serve without corruption yet somehow did not communicate that tradition to his sons.

We surveyed a number of other scriptures, including those which identify conditions for acceptable prayer:

“If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” Psalm 66:18

This one is worrisome. I’ve been taught to understand the word ‘regard’ in this context as ‘cherish’ … the idea of accepting known sin in my life and doing nothing to correct or restrain it. The pastor spoke at some length on this topic, pointing out our tendency to excuse habitual sin and rationalize it, saying, “Well, that’s just the way I am.” Some of us think we can bargain with God, sort of a “I’ll obey most of your commandments in exchange for leniency in this one area” arrangement. Is God corruptible? Can He be bought so cheaply, or at all? Even if God did accept such bargains, I doubt He would look warmly our cheating Him so outrageously, since we know from elsewhere in scripture that even our best efforts are worthless in terms of living up to His standard of holiness.

Nearly all men struggle with lust, in one form or another. How many of us have rationalized our impure thoughts or sexual fantasies as being an integral part of our masculinity, breaking fidelity with our wives and our God on a frequent, if not daily, basis?

I was once involved in a Promise Keeper’s group that met each week at a local business. One of the questions which came up was this: “Is it wrong for me to look at a pretty woman in my workplace?”

We discussed this at considerable length. Finally, perhaps out of exhaustion, we came to a tentative conclusion:

1. God created woman to be beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with appreciating that beauty
2. God’s primary purpose for a woman’s beauty is to be appreciated by her husband
3. While a man cannot reasonably live in this world without looking at a beautiful woman once, he certainly can and ought to control himself from taking a second look, unless the woman is his wife. For most men, the sin of lust (which Jesus equates with adultery, see Matthew 5:28) occurs between the first and second glances … a man is tempted and succumbs to the sinful desire to take a second look, with the intent of gratifying his lustful thoughts.

When I was in high school, I walked about a mile to and from school each day. One afternoon as I walked along, I passed two girls, glancing at them as I passed. One of them caught my eye, and I gave that girl a second, more lingering glance. As I moved ahead of them, the one girl said to her friend, “Hey Stephanie, he sure looked you up and down.” I blushed as I walked away, because she had correctly identified the appraising, intrusive intent of my gaze. I was embarrassed because I had moved beyond innocent appreciation into lust, and I had been caught in the act.

The scriptures talk about “making a covenant with our eyes” such that we keep our appreciative glances for our wives and avoid that sinful decision to take a second look at other women. Yet there are many who draw the line with a lot more wiggle-room. In my experience, few men can trust themselves in this area, whether it be the movies we watch or the books or magazines that we read.

Many people tolerate casual dishonesty in their lives, telling ‘white lies’ or habitually deceiving the people around them. Others permit themselves to lash out in anger at the people around them, or have a bitter, sarcastic tongue. Many women (and not a few men) indulge in gossip, concealing malicious talk behind a cloak of righteous concern and prayer. Still others routinely steal from their employer or the government, pretending that some kind of entitlement or past victimization permits this behavior. Can we cherish these kinds of sin and expect that God will hear our prayers?

Another picture with no particular connection to this blog.

This sermon made me reflect on my life and the various ‘idols’ I have erected. Some of the sins that we wink at include self-indulgence (in my case, a tendency to overeat), pride, laziness, short-temperedness and an unconcern for others. We tell ourselves that we are not perfect, and that surely God does not expect us to become flawless overnight. “I’m a work in progress,” we piously intone, implying that some or all of our sins can be ‘temporarily’ ignored. How many of us have become enslaved through habitual cherishing of sins of this kind, spending our years cut off from God’s grace?

And yet there are other reasons our prayers are ineffective:

“You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:2-3

We looked at the passages that talk about the way that the Holy Spirit translates for us and presents our requests in terms of the things that we really need.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”

One very basic principle of prayer hit me right between the eyes: prayer is about submitting my self to God’s will, not constraining or inducing God to give me special treatment. It may be that you have already grappled with this, but I find myself continually surprised and re-surprised (to coin an awkward word) by my negative reaction to this truth. When it comes down to it, I suspect that God is ready and willing to deny me the comforts I crave but rather may choose to allow me to suffer, if through that suffering He can mold me to His purposes. According to Hebrews 2:10, and 5:8-9, God used suffering to ‘make’ (or perhaps reveal) Jesus’ perfection. When I pray, many of my prayers are suggestions to God about how to make my life more pleasant; strange to think that the Holy Spirit may actually stand in opposition to some of these prayers.

I can just imagine the conversation among the Trinity, please excuse the liberties taken with the awesome majesty of God, no blasphemy intended:

Father: “So, I see that Tim is praying again. What do you think he really needs?”

Spirit: “Well, he’s asking for more money again, and he wants to be protected from the consequences of some bad decisions he made, but I think it would be best if we let him build some much-needed patience. Also, he continually struggles with pride and self-sufficiency, and it seems to get worse every time we give him a higher salary. He pretty much just wants to be allowed to sit back and take it easy for the next 50 years or so. We want him to rely on us, rather than taking pride in his own ability to earn a wage. I think it best that we teach him to be a better steward of what he already has. I don’t think he is making very good progress in terms of compassion for others … we need to soften up his heart a little. As to his tendency toward laziness … I think we love him too much to spoil him.”

Jesus: “You better believe it! I died for that rascal, and I won’t be satisfied until he enjoys life the way we intended, in its full abundance. Ever since he was redeemed, we’ve been looking for opportunities to help Tim realize what an awesome gift he has been given, with the Spirit as his Comforter. Tim’s not getting any younger, and every day is full of potential for Our power to fill him and mold him. I want him so full of the Spirit that he barely notices when he dies and takes up residence here!”

Father: “Well, as I always say, bad things are excellent opportunities for Our creative power. I have some other really great gifts I’d like to give him … let’s creatively disguise and repackage some of them and draw Tim to Us by building his faith and character. I can’t wait to see Tim’s face when he realizes that We’ve been acting in his best interest in spite of the hardship in his life. (Of course, that is just a figure of speech, since I can wait, and technically I’ve already seen the future, but you get the idea.)”

Spirit: “Sounds like Tim is nearly finished praying … he doesn’t take long, you know. For a guy who is so long-winded in his blog, it is strange that he can’t manage to pray for more than a few minutes at a time. I’ll provide him with a sense of Our peace, and I’ll call his attention to some of the passages that Paul wrote about being joyful in adversity.”

Jesus: “Now there’s a guy who knew about trials and tribulations.”

Father: “Not anymore! Hey, Paul, we’re talking about you again! Stop dunking John-Mark in Our river … he’s already been baptized!”

Again, please know that no disrespect or blasphemy is intended in my invention of this conversation between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

At the core of my problem with prayer is a basic unwillingness to suffer for the cause of Christ. Although He laid down His life for me, I am considerably less ready to lay down my life for Him, especially if it might bring me discomfort or inconvenience. In such a case, how can I pray for God to glorify His Son in me?

Here is a little girl that we pray will grow to glorify God.

There is no doubt that God wants me to have and enjoy every good thing. The problem is that most of the things on my list (happiness, wealth & possessions, health, leisure, power, sensual gratification, comfort) don’t make His top-ten list. Indeed, there is a close correspondence between those things I desire (at least in the extreme) and the list in I John 2:16-17:

“For everything in the world … the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does … comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

We see that the good things that God wants for me are more lasting and valuable than the things that I want … but, like a young child, I prefer a lollipop right now to ownership of a city tomorrow..

So do we rush off and become monks, whipping our bodies and living on roots & berries (and Nutella, that well-known monastic staple) in some quest to deny the flesh? If God so wills it, then yes. But God seems to call us to submit our desires to Him, yet grants us considerable pleasure and comfort in the gifts of His hand. Often he permits us to have the lollipop today, even though it may delay our inheritance of the city; yet we must be wary of granting too much power and importance to the desires of the flesh.

Prayer, then, takes courage. No wonder many people prefer only to pray for others … who can pray for themselves, other than something like “Thy will be done”?

What does it look like, to be a person who trusts God and submits their desires to His will?

• such a person tithes and gives sacrificially above that 10%
• they habitually subordinate themselves to the needs of others … when you call them for help, they respond
• they do not put the gratification of their body ahead of the well-being of others
• they will tend to give freely of their time to God’s work
• they do not seek to puff themselves up
• they keep a tight rein on their tongue
• they don’t mind looking foolish for God

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7

Sound familiar? I guess it should be no surprise that with God, everything comes back to love. If we truly love God, we’ll be able to trust Him with our lives, putting our will below His, and loving Him enough to suffer if necessary. I guess there is one prayer that I need to be praying, “Lord, please give me a heart that loves you more.”

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It is a crisp Fall morning, dawning clear and golden on the slopes of Mount Rainier to the southeast, as I ride above Tacoma’s waterfront on the elevated Sounder train to Seattle. Even the Tacoma Box Company building (established 1889) looks elegant in the fresh sunshine of this day. Yet my appreciation of the beauty of this glorious morning is somewhat dimmed by the lack of Pop Tarts.

Under ordinary circumstances this would never have happened. I take prodigious care to ensure the regular provision of Pop Tarts in my little bronze car, the only place where they are (relatively) safe from the ravages of Slug, Weasel and other natural predators. Ever since the catastrophic mouse nibbling incident, I secure them in a clear Rubbermaid container with a MouseAway™ lid. While I have come to prefer the bland reassurance of Brown Sugar & Cinnamon, I am known for my ability to lay aside large quantities of Blueberry, and even Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Pop Tarts.

Joshua put together four bookcases for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. He has been the envy of all, as he generously shares out his treat, one half-spoonful at a time.

Imagine my shock, dismay, surprise and chagrin when I looked on the back seat of my car and found no faithful plastic bin, no preservative-laced pastries, no breakfast. In the chaos of our recent move to Lakewood, the bin was removed and the pastries likely devoured by some undeserving wretch. And so I must ride without Pop Tarts, woe is me.

One of the reasons I began this blog (apart from the fact that I thought it was a cool idea and it gives me an unparalleled chance to blather on without being interrupted) was that I had begun to feel my mortality. These kind of things occur to me later than for most people; it has only recently begun to dawn on me that I am the father of five children and should (at least occasionally) act like a grownup. It seemed to me that, in the event something happened to me, it would be pleasant to have written down a few thoughts by which my children could remember me, if they were so inclined. As my body continues to age (I am, after all, approaching 39, which is merely a pebble’s toss from the dotage of 40) my thoughts have been more and more fixed on the temporary nature of my sojourn on this planet.

This was not a ‘posed’ picture — Sarah set this up herself, with no prompting!

It was, therefore, with startling joy this past Saturday, that I remembered a key truth: I am an immortal. I have read many stories (usually fantasy or science fiction) about people who are, for various reasons, immortal. Traditionally, these characters are flawed; often storybook immortals are wearied by their years and jaded by the sameness of life’s pleasures. Many of them have experienced the personal tragedy of watching a beloved one die of old age or other mishap, and are often detached from the world and unconcerned (at least on the surface) with the plight of mortal man. In some cases, they have been disappointed or betrayed so often that they have little or no desire to continue to live. Typical handling of such characters in fiction involves the poignant renunciation of deathlessness in exchange for True Love of some other lofty ideal.

In the beginning, many of the early patriarchs lived for nearly a thousand years, according to the records in the book of Genesis. Many have speculated about these long-lived men, wondering why mankind is now limited to such a comparatively low average of 70 years. Of course, the reason is recorded in Genesis 6:3, as God speaks about His intention to destroy the earth with a flood:

“Then the Lord said, my Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years.”

The generations began to shorten after Noah, who reached the respectable age of 950. Noah’s descendants lived 600, 438, 433, 464, 239, 230, 148, and 205 years, down to Abraham, who lived to be 175. Some argue that the change in the Earth’s atmosphere after the flood and the resulting increased solar radiation is to blame for aging. Others have pointed at the relentless and cumulative impact of sin as the cause for shortened lifespan. Whatever the reason, it is a rare person these days who lives to be more than 100, let alone 120.

When I was in high school or college I saw a movie about a bunch of Immortals who (for reasons that were never clear to me) could only be killed by chopping off their heads, usually after a dramatic sword fight and the exchange of stilted insults. The plot (if you can call it that) required a small group of these sword-wielding maniacs to chase one another around the planet with the brutal goal of absorbing each others’ life energy or something (I was never clear on that part, either) and ultimately becoming some sort of god. It seemed to me that the only thing they were likely to accrue was high dry-cleaning bills, but, hey, I didn’t write the screenplay.

That’s not my kind of immortal. Any who saw me swing a sword would know that the only likely impending decapitation would be my own. Actually, I possess a much better grade of immortality … the kind that cannot be ended by the chop of a blade, poisoned by despair or cheapened by ennui. By the word of the Lord, who does not lie, I am guaranteed eternal life. By faith in Jesus Christ, and according to His grace and mercy, I will live with Him forever. Not some measly 50,000 years, but forever. No end. Ever. It sends a chill down my spine when I think about the amazing infinite nature of this gift of God.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about time, and readjusting my reaction to the ‘waste’ of ‘my’ time. One recent Saturday, I drove downtown to pick up a rental truck, only to discover that I had reserved the wrong vehicle (actually a cargo van) and that my plans to move would have to be delayed. Driving back to Lakewood, a cheerful peace descended upon me as I remembered that I have (literally) all the time in the world and that it didn’t really matter what I did with today or tomorrow, as long as I gave glory to God and enjoyed Him. I started to sing along with the praise songs on the radio and adjusted my plans to move our furniture on Monday, instead of Saturday.

It seems a little childish, almost, but I get a lot of glee out of the fact that I don’t really have to worry about anything. As Jesus said, in Matthew 6:25:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not your life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?”

One man’s hot-tub is another’s olympic-sized pool.

One of the nice features of our new rental house is a hot tub, nestled into a corner of the deck behind the garage. Although it is in view of the neighboring house, the room that overlooks it is tenanted by a four-year-old, who waves at us cheerfully when we use the tub in the daytime. Mostly we hit the hot tub just before bedtime, enjoying the cool breeze above the water and the stars overhead. It has been a real blessing throughout the move, refreshing our aching muscles after a long day of hauling boxes. There’s nothing like a hot tub to help you to forget your cares and worries, and to reflect on God’s gracious provision throughout the day.

Now that the weekend has passed, today I have to work. I’m sure there will be many worrisome details that will require my urgent attention. But I must admit I’m not really very uptight about it … after all, I’m an immortal.

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Each morning, the driver of the bus I ride makes an announcement over the loudspeaker as we arrive at the Bainbridge Island ferry terminal. It may be that his former vocation was pastor or politician; he seems to love alliteration. I suppose he wants to make sure we’re all awake and that we will get off his bus; he always makes an effort to sound upbeat (apparently he hasn’t read my comments on the advisability of pre-noon cheerful chatter in a previous blog entry). Mondays are Marvelous, Tuesdays Terrific (at the Terminal), Wednesdays are frequently Wonderful in Winslow (the actual name of the village at this end of the island), and Fridays either Fabulous or Fantastic, at the Ferry, of course. I don’t ride the bus on Thursdays … I wonder if he extends the alliteration to include the ‘h’, as in “Thankful Thursdays”?

This is the #90 bus with the cheerful driver, stopping for me at the Nazarene Church Park & Ride. Don’t be fooled (as I frequently am) by the #33.

He usually has something positive to say on Fridays, but the Monday crowd is pretty somber … today he decided to spice it up a little:

“I’m happy to report that they haven’t moved the Bainbridge Island Ferry Terminal over the weekend; not that they usually do, but you can never be too careful on a Monday.”

It actually brought to mind a funny mental picture of black-masked desperadoes carrying the terminal away piecemeal in the dark of night, perhaps attempting to rally popular support for their struggle against the oppressor, but nobody even cracked a smile as far as I could see. I guess if he wants a better reaction, he’ll have to drive an afternoon bus route or start working the improvisational comedy circuit.

Dashing he may be, but he didn’t steal my ferry terminal.

It is always interesting to see how different people cope with jobs that lack sufficient scope for their personality. One of the drivers for the shuttle van service that is provided by my employer is an intelligent, articulate man who formerly managed a television station in Bremerton. Whenever I sit in the front seat, I like to engage him in discussion that ranges across a variety of topics … I can’t help feeling that his gifts are wasted as a shuttle driver. Many of the security guards that I encounter are friendly, gregarious people who seem to be well above the mental capability that one would expect in such a position. Perhaps one positive effect that the economic down-turn has brought about is a certain leveling of the playing field … some of the social stigma associated with service industry jobs has been swept away, as hundreds of thousands of ‘professionals’ have been forced into such employment, if only temporarily.

When I was in high school, I worked at a nearby hotel as a yard boy, bellboy, and eventually, desk clerk. When business was slow, I used to help out in the restaurant, busing tables. Later I sold fish across the counter at a nearby fish-market, served another hotel as a desk clerk, and worked the deli counter in a supermarket. Over the years I have held numerous office clerk and typist jobs, including an 8-month stint as a secretary. Those experiences cause me to closely identify with the people that I encounter who are working in service jobs. I try always to be kind, generous and courteous to anyone who is serving me.

One of my favorite little books is Brother Lawrence’s Practicing the Presence of God, written by a (14th?) century (French?) monk. It is well-worth reading, and for that reason, I will not attempt to summarize the secrets of that little pamphlet here. It is noteworthy, however, that this weighty little book was written by a person who held (as far as I can tell) no significant position of leadership, but rather served in the kitchen as a dishwasher and occasionally as a commissary agent for the monastery.

Whatever the world may say about success and the measure of a man’s life, it seems that God has the final word:

“Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things … and the things that are not … to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God … that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.’” I Corinthians 1:20-25

When those of us who love God stand before Him (or more likely, when we fall on our face before Him) we will be held to account for every word that we speak, and for what we have done with the gifts that He gave to us. I suspect that many of the good and faithful servants will turn out to have been people of little account according to worldly standards.

As is expressed in the well-known Psalm, “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.” (Psalm 84:10a) It doesn’t seem to matter what we do or how much we earn or who we impress, as long as we please God and enjoy Him.

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