Category Archives: Family

Friendship, Kathy, Marriage, Project 365

Double Date

1 Comment

I recently resumed the practice of reporting weekly on my goals.

This took quite a bit of gumption, since I’ve not been in the habit of reviewing my goals this year — and as Dee Duke says, a goal that is not reviewed is not much of a goal. There is a strange correlation between reviewing goals and actually pursuing them; you’d think by now I would have caught on to this.

Anyway, I started reporting on my goals, and the first week I earned a rather low (unweighted) score of 38%. This means that I managed to complete only slightly more than one third of the things that I had decided were important for me to do.

(Parenthetically, this is one of the most annoying things about goals. It would be one thing if goals were brutally imposed by oppressive, external forces; but when you set your own goals and still can’t achieve them, it is just sort of pathetic.)

So as soon as I sent the email reporting the abysmal 38% score, I determined to do better. Surely I could improve to at least 50%, I wondered?

One of my goals is to celebrate a date night with my Sweetie each week. It doesn’t seem like a very hard goal, but you would be surprised how quickly a week can go by without remembering to date your Sweetie. So this week I decided in advance that it would be Friday night. Kathy and I usually don’t have anything going on that night, and that would give me all week to plan.

It looked pretty, if I do say so myself. OK, at least the girls were pretty.

It looked pretty, if I do say so myself. OK, at least the girls were pretty.

Except I forgot to plan. I’m not a big planner, in any case, and it was Friday morning before I knew it. Hurriedly, I rummaged around in my brain for a good idea, like the way you might rummage around in a spilled bag of candy, hoping for one that wasn’t noticed by those who came before you.

And then it hit me — why not a double date with some of our friends? Now that so many of our kids are grown and gone off to college, maybe Kathy and I could pretend to be grown up ourselves, and have a date with another married couple! Kathy has a lot of good girlfriends, and I really like a lot of their husbands, so it seemed like a good idea.

A couple of years ago, we got together with seven other couples and cooked a meal together, with the men divided into two teams and competing for the best entree with randomly assigned ingredients. It took hours for us to actually produce a meal, with some rather interesting results, but as a social event, it was a smashing success.

So I decided to trade on that achievement, and texted my friend Chris.

“How ’bout we double-date with our wives, tonight,” I offered. “We can whip up a meal for them, and then watch a movie or something. My house. Sound good?”

Chris quickly jumped on the band wagon. Did I mention he is an accomplished chef? So we cooked a delicious meal of grilled chicken and brown rice, with peppers and zucchini and onions and a few small tomatoes, all brushed with oil and sizzling on the grill. I set the table complete with tablecloth, cloth napkins, a candlestick, and crystal water goblets.

So delicious!

So delicious!

We sat and talked about our children (what else do old married people talk about?) and then watched a movie — it was a very pleasant evening! I think this whole date night thing might be worth continuing. Stay tuned for next week’s installment.

Project 365, Day 247
Tim

Share or follow
Share

Related posts:

Daily Life, Project 365, Tim

The Sound of Change

1 Comment

This was a very strange day at work. My employer has decided to stuff an extra 60 people into the office building floor where I work, and so we were all told to box up our stuff and get ready for the corporate equivalent of a Fruit Basket Upset. When the dust settles, I will occupy a somewhat smaller cubicle on the northwest side of the building, rather than the northeast side which I have occupied for the last seven or eight years.

Ordinarily, the only time (at work) that you hear people putting stuff in boxes is if they have been laid off, or are quitting. It is a sound full of negative emotional impact, especially if you’ve ever been laid off (which I have) or worked for a small company which was bought out or which closed its doors (which I haven’t). So, all day long I kept hearing the sound of people packing and would subconsciously tense, before remembering to tell myself that it was only a move. Modular office furniture is a perfect choice if you need to move or relocate rather often.

Around four p.m., the moving guys showed up, and began hauling away the belongings of those who had already left for the day. I tried to look alert and actively productive, for fear of being mistaken for furniture, and hauled away to some dark storage closet. As I was leaving, I decided to take a quick ‘cubie’ (less narcissistic than a ‘selfie’) to remember the otherwise insignificant beige cloth-covered box in which I have spent so many of my waking hours, since we moved upstairs in 2007 or so.

I was able to put all my junk in four boxes, which I thought was pretty good.

I was able to put all my junk in four boxes, which I thought was pretty good.

I can’t say I’ll miss that cube. It faced onto a hallway leading to a high-trafficked conference room, and I was constantly being disturbed by the comings and goings of people with nothing to do but stand around outside conference rooms, conferring noisily. I can’t wait to move into my (admittedly-smaller) digs, where I’ll be on a cul-de-sac that is en route to nowhere (hopefully not a metaphor for my career).

Project 365, Day 246
Tim

Share or follow
Share

Related posts:

David, Family, Project 365

A Daily Constitutional

Just before I was discharged from the Army (honorably, of course) I took 53 days of ‘terminal leave’ (it isn’t as deadly as it sounds) and explored Western Europe by train. Whenever I ran low on clean underwear, I returned to my central ‘base of operations’ near Heidelberg, where my brother and sister-in-law lived. I spent a lot of time in their laundry room.

My brother was frequently in the field with his tank squadron that summer, and poor Liz found herself in the awkward position of entertaining a feckless brother-in-law. (After all, training their kitten as a ferocious attack-beast could only fill so many of my hours). So one weekend, she took me off on a Volksmarch, and we were each awarded a valuable tin plate in commemoration of our achievement.

The German people are a hardy bunch, much given to brisk, orderly marching around the countryside, breathing large draughts of healthy country air. In a similar manner, our family has begun a new tradition: before we watch anything in the evening (whether it be a movie or some episode of a show on Netflix) we require ourselves to walk at least a mile (but in our own shoes, not in someone else’s moccasins).

An evening promenade with my youngest girl. You can see Sarah really has to push herself hard, to keep up with me ...

An evening promenade with my youngest girl. You can see Sarah really has to push herself hard, to keep up with me …

Some days we are more eager than others, but on the whole, it seems a healthy habit — helps to digest our dinner, and it gets us out-of-doors if we haven’t been out earlier (as is often the case with me, when I work from home). We use our Map My Run™ app on our phones so we get full credit for the exhausting walk — it is so nice to be patronized by the app: “Congratulations! This was your 49th fastest walk!”

Famed as we are for starting new traditions, it will be interesting to see if we are able to continue this habit. We’re already on our fourth day, which is not bad, by our standards. Maybe when my brother moves to town, he’ll take me on one of his famed ‘death marches’, carefully crafted to show me for the soft-bellied, programmer wimp that I am.

But there is always hope for the next generation. David has decided to take on the dual challenges of the Junior ROTC program at Curtis High School and the Cross Country Team at Lakes High School, this Fall. On top of three Potter’s School Classes and a bunch of other coursework, David is really raising the bar for himself, as he leaps boldly into High School.

What a fine, manly specimen!

What a fine, manly specimen!

This evening, David and I met to plan out his life, and to detail the steps he’ll need to take to place him in a position where he will be equipped for certain paths, should God offer them to him. It was encouraging to talk it out with David; he’s a level-headed kid with a good understanding of what his priorities should be. I’m so pleased and excited to see him briskly and firmly stepping into manhood!

Project 365, Day 245
Tim

Share or follow
Share

Related posts:

Being a Disciple of Jesus, Daily Life, Kathy, Project 365

A Discouraged Spirit

5 Comments

I’m working through some Project 365 pictures that I need to post from the end of August.

January, February, March, April and May are all complete. Yay us!! June is only missing 3, two of which I hope Tim going to write about his time at JH Ranch with David.

July and August are an entirely different story. Yikes. I have quite a few back-dated pictures to post and blogs to write. I’m fairly certain, however, that I have a picture from every single day, so the Project 365 is still intact. It’s the small things we cling to, I find, that keep us sane.

So, bear with me as I publish several posts from the end of August.

Last week I was in a bit of a slump. David was in California with his good friend, Marshall. Tim was getting Daniel settled in at college in Murietta Springs. Rachel and Joshua were back in the busy, engaging activities of life at Union University. Sarah and I had a lovely time being together, but I could NOT motivate myself to do anything. I was tired and apathetic. I didn’t want to DO ANYTHING. Whenever I thought about the coming Fall activities, I just felt dread and weariness. It was odd and a wee bit troubling.

Planning school is inevitable.

Planning school is inevitable.

“Well, that’s it. I’m done. This couch looks cozy and that stack of magazines has my name on it.”

I didn’t want to think about house projects, fall ministries or co-op classes. I didn’t want to plan our homeschool schedule. I didn’t have a clue about making the most of this fresh year with David and Sarah. The sun was shining, but I felt too blah to enjoy it.

“Mom, are you okay?”

When your daughter hurries to call you after receiving some rather pathetic sounding text messages, you know you’re not doing a very good job of hiding your emotional state. Ha. One of the delights of my life is how my children bless ME. Rachel has the gift of encouragement, and she NEVER lets me fall into negative self-talk or believe the lies that Satan is so good at throwing around.

“Kathy,” a friend texted me, “you have had some BIG changes in your life this month, watching three children go off to college. It’s going to manifest itself in odd and emotional ways.”

“And you’re not a crier,” another sweet friend messaged to say, “so it has to come out other ways.”

Haha. Oh, how my children and my friends and my husband know me so well!

Thankfully after a day or two of pity parties involving shots of espresso (not that different from my regular parties, now that I think about it), I began to feel my old self. It helped when I made a mental list of all that I had done this summer.

Including:

1. A HUGE overhaul of the garage
2. Completely organized, sorted and labeled all of Tim’s tools and hardware
3. Organized the two sheds in the back yard
4. Emptied and helped Tim clean out our shed in the Duckabush (not touched in years!)
5. Worked for a week on my mom’s house in Texas – emptying, organizing, selling things, giving away stuff, etc
6. Decluttered our master bedroom and closet
7. Painted our bedroom, completely moving everything around, and surprising Tim with a new desk and work set-up
8. Hosted 7 families (and LOTS of kids) for a week of camp
9. Worked with Daniel to plant and landscape the front yard
10. Spent time with my niece/nephew and great-nephew, brother-in-law and sister-in-law
11. Welcomed my son’s beautiful fiancee into the home for a whirlwind (too short!) visit
12. Helped Rachel get ready and set off for college
13. Helped Daniel move out of his room – all his stuff sorted, boxed up or given away
14. Helped David move back to his room
15. Helped Sarah move beds around and switch things from Daniel’s room to hers

I realized that I wasn’t broken or incapable of tackling big projects, I had just done a LOT already this summer.

I let my spirit rest just a bit without panicking or fretting. I got an email from one of the amazing kids in my student government class and realized I had a few fresh ideas myself. I sat next to Tim while he spent hours working on our AWANA website and felt the excitement of the coming year. I went to a meeting with the new directors of the AWANA program and saw what fun it was going to be to work with them. I made plans to meet with some women regarding our mentor program.

And ever so sweetly the Lord breathed renewed life into my spirit. It wasn’t dramatic and startling. It was gentle and subtle. And isn’t He like that sometimes.

May the Lord give strength to His people.
May the Lord bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

I am so thankful for His mercies which are new every morning and refresh and refill my soul.

Project 365 – Day 239 (Aug 27)
Kathy

Share or follow
Share

Related posts:

David, Project 365, Sarah

Living in the Dark Ages

2 Comments

Today, we had a power outage. It was very strange — suddenly, around 10 am, with sunny skies, the power surged and flickered once or twice, and then snapped off.

Living in Western Washington, we’re no strangers to power outages. High winds, tree falls, flooding, ice on power lines; all these can (and do) cause power outages. But usually they happen in winter, and most often in the evening, when they are sure to be noticed. In such cases, you gather what candles and non-working flashlights you can find, gather around the dining room table for a game or a story, and go to bed early.

Our weather this Summer has been hot, and dry and calm, so when the winds picked up this morning, we were quite surprised. Our pretty green patio umbrella blew away and was destroyed, and one of the shed doors was wrenched off its hinges. Then the power went out.

I had been working on my Sunday School class (I write my notes and questions in MS Word, and do most of my research on the passage via the internet) and suddenly I was forced to revert to old-school methods. I felt a real solidarity with monks, living in the dark ages.

On the left, is a Bible presented in a strange form called 'print', and on the right is a quill and some parchment, which were used to record thoughts and ideas by primitive man.

On the left, is a Bible presented in an archaic form called ‘print’, and on the right is a quill and some parchment, which were used to record thoughts and ideas by primitive man.

It is surprising (to me, at least) how much of my life centers around work and entertainment, both of which tend to require electricity. I had planned to split my day between working on our church’s AWANA website and preparing for Sunday School, with maybe a movie thrown in in the evening. Without electrical power, I found myself at loose ends.

I zipped out to the Dollar store and shopped for a few things I needed for Sunday school, and picked up a few biscuits for breakfast (and, of course, a coffee for Kathy). We all caught up on our Bible reading. I read ten chapters of a Gary Schmidt book, What Came from the Stars aloud to Sarah and Kathy, and I developed my Sunday School class on paper. Eventually, the power did come back on (after six hours of barbarian life), and we celebrated by cooking a variation of our favorite Thai dish, Panang Curry.

There is just nothing quite like a good panang curry, for a hungry barbarian family.

There is just nothing quite like a good panang curry, for a hungry barbarian family.

In the evening, we drove to the airport to welcome back David, the returning prodigal, who reluctantly relinquished his life of luxury as a guest in California, in order to reclaim his rightful place in our family. After all, if he’d stayed away any longer, Sarah would probably have co-opted his bedroom as a craft workshop.

Hail the conquering hero's return!

Hail the conquering hero’s return!

Project 365, Day 241
Tim

Share or follow
Share

Related posts: