Category Archives: Family

The Three Amigos

This evening we picked up two of Joshua’s friends on our way to church. Both boys’ mothers are recovering from leg injuries (one had hip surgery). We giggled a bit at the thought of them getting together and hobbling about on crutches or lounging with their feet up while the children (9 of them between the two families) cleaned the house.

When we arrived at church, I hopped out of the running car to take a quick picture. I made asked the boys to stand near each other for the picture. “Pretend you like each other,” I shouted in my best photographer voice.

joshua, tom and timothy

Can we please go to youth group now, Mom?

“Why is your mom taking our picture?” One of the boys asked.
“She always has her camera with her, it’s just a thing she does these days,” was Joshua’s reply, not embarrassed, just resigned.

I never could get the boys to stand very close. The one where I suggested they put their arms around each other came out looking like Joshua was about to throttle one of the other young men. I thought it best to be kept off the blog.

In the end I settled for, “Stand still.”

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 262

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Tuesday Tips for Parenting – Walk Away

And introducing our new Tuesday Tips logo, created just for us by Lisa’s talented daughter, Allison. Thank you, Allison!!

new logo

As a father of five children, I’ve had ample opportunity to encourage my kids in the exercise of self-control. I can’t be everywhere, and my wife (who homeschools all five) is often tired of being ‘in charge’ when I get home from work.

Over the years we discovered that many problems facing parents are the result of letting things get out of hand rather than addressing them early. As we have shared before in other Tuesday Tips we are strong believers in the idea that training (particularly in moments of NON-conflict) is key to effective parenting.

An aggressive driver
“Come closer so I can lick you, Daddy.”

When our kids were little, they all learned that we ‘meant business’ about playing with electrical sockets. We had a carbon monoxide detector in the kitchen that beckoned strongly to little eyes and minds with its intriguing red and green diodes. We found that if a mobile baby or young toddler was within about 4 feet of it, the lure became almost irresistible. One day I spent a frustrating five or ten minutes swatting the hand of my son David, who persisted in touching the detector. Although we were tempted to simply move it, we had decided not to ‘baby proof’ our home, but rather to work on life-proofing our babies themselves.

Then we hit on the happy solution: “Walk away.”

Topknot Girl
Or, in some cases, “Drive Away.”

When our child would head toward the carbon monoxide detector, I would say, “No.” If they approached it closely, I would sharpen my voice, move closer, and repeat: “No, No.” If they reached for it, I would let them touch it, then swat the hand, and then turn them physically 180 degrees away from it, placing them down on the floor at least 5 or 6 feet from the wall. “Walk away,” I would say. We repeated this sequence at least half a dozen times before he came to appreciate the personal benefit of walking away.

Bike riding the easy way
David tries to ‘splain things to Sarah

We realized that if a child could get some distance from the temptation, they could then exercise the self-control necessary to avoid it. This phrase seemed to carry more power than “don’t touch” or a simple “no” because the toddler physically left the presence of the enticing object.

Over time, this strength grew, so that several of my children learned to give electrical sockets (and a variety of other dangerous things) a wide berth. We found that this lesson translates well to avoiding other pitfalls, and the words ‘Walk Away’ have often been an effective protection for our children from sin and harm.

Pushy Sarah
Sarah and David have really benefited from the godly example set by their older siblings.

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he communicates this awesome promise of God:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. — I Corinthians 10:13

Sarah contemplates a ruler
It is sometimes hard to predict what will tempt little minds.

As I have grown in my love for Jesus, I have found this promise to be unfailingly true — there has never been a time when I called out for help that God has not provided a way for me to resist or escape a temptation. One of the best protections we have against sin is avoiding situations that present strong temptations, just as staying on the safe side of a guard rail can prevent you from falling down a cliff. This skill of avoiding trouble by walking away is true for adults, why not children also?

David Hangs Out
I have been especially impressed with David’s wisdom and self-discipline in setting boundaries to protect himself from temptation.

I first wrote this article as a response on Helium, but I decided to tweak it a little and republish it here.

Tim

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Selling Out for Chips

I’ve long felt that a man ought to have certain minimal standards for a Saturday of leisure. One should not enter lightly into a day of rest and relaxation. Here are a few basic principles:

  1. Sleeping in is a must
  2. No booting up the work laptop
  3. Sugared cereals – preferably several bowls, devoured absentmindedly while perusing some easy-reading fiction (I prefer Terry Pratchett novels)
  4. Hours and hours of uninterrupted computer game playing
  5. Children off visiting friends or playing outside contentedly (no fights, injuries, or difficult questions allowed)
  6. Ice cream for a snack or dessert (or both, if your wife isn’t watching closely)
  7. Pancakes for dinner – no skimping on the butter orsyrup.
  8. Absolutely NO HOUSEWORK, period.

If your blood isn’t fizzing from all the sugar, and if you can still focus your eyes after a hard day of gaming, it wasn’t a proper Saturday, I always say.

Sadly, into every man’s life a little hardship doth occasionally fall. In this case, Saturday dawned bright and clear (okay grey and cloudy) with only a single 30 minute computer game playing chip left in my possession. Thirty minutes has never flown by so quickly, and I found myself chipless before noon on a Saturday. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and so I assembled my horde of children and entrusted to them a sacred mission:

“I’m sure I have some more chips somewhere in one of my desk drawers. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to locate the missing chips.”

We turned the first drawer inside-out but nary a chip was unearthed. Other drawers were searched, but to no avail. After less than a half-hour’s search, we were forced to admit that I was truly (I shudder, even to write it) out of chips.

Ever since the chip-famine of April ’07, we’ve had a special codicil that allows the chip-impoverished to earn emergency chip rations by doing chores around the house. Daniel regularly invokes that rule, and Kathy gets a lot of extra help out of him, happily exploiting his weakness for computer games. Although I’m almost positive I was somehow shorted on the chip payment this week (how could I have spent 3 1/2 hours already!), I couldn’t convince Kathy (keeper of the chips) to extend me any grace. Nor were the children susceptible to bribery or threats. Sadly, I realized that the only way I was going to earn myself a fresh cache of computer chips was to work, or more specifically clean. Some things are almost too painful to write.

Kathy chortled gleefully all morning, cackling even, as the minutes ticked away and my last chip was played.

“Boy, this pantry is REALLY messy. I sure hope someone will have time to clean it today.”

pantry - before

Um, it’s not really that messy, Dear.

It’s never pretty seeing a grown woman act in such an immature manner. She almost seemed to enjoy my suffering and torment.

After putting the desk drawer back together and making a half-hearted attempt to shake one of the children down for a spare chip, I decided to accept the inevitable.

Most of the afternoon was spent emptying, cleaning and organizing the pantry. No doubt Kathy will thank me for my work in de-cluttering and re-categorizing the items in the closet. I found several things that I’m sure she doesn’t need at all and was diligent to get rid of them right away. I moved everything around on the shelves, arranging them in order by UPC code and sell-by-date. It was a delight to see her face when I showed her the New System I devised for the pantry.

pantry - after

Look, there’s a floor in here. I didn’t think you really needed the crock-pot or all those pesky cookie sheets. You don’t mind going out to the garage for baking supplies, do you Beloved?

It’s not often that Kathy is at a loss for words. It just shows how overwhelmed with joy she was.

I completed the job with my usual glacial speed. When I had nearly finished putting everything away, and had collected 3 hours’ worth of computer game playing chips, I was called away on an errand. When Kathy discovered I was graciously allowing her to put the last touches on the pantry and clear off a small amount of mess on the kitchen table, she was beside herself with joy.

table o' mess

Heh, heh, there’s just a little more to do, Sweetie.

But she wasn’t quite so speechless this time. “If you think I’m paying good chips so I can tidy up your half-baked job of ‘cleaning’ the pantry, you’ve been sniffing the 409!” she seethed. She’s really quite a hoot, as those who know her well often comment.

As Saturday comes to a close, I grip my hard-earned chips tightly in sweaty palms, agonizing whether to spend them now in a mad rush, or to hoard them in case I get some time to play, Sunday afternoon.

timer and chips

All ready and set to go.

I’d better be careful, though … Kathy’s been dropping not-so-subtle hints about the garage.

Tim
Project 365 – Day 258

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Photoshop Elements 5 Class

Today the children and I went to one of our favorite haunts, the library. Twenty-five books, fifteen dvds and a handful of Archies later we were merrily on our way. So few books. We’re obviously easing back into school. Rachel and I were especially gleeful to pick up books we had reserved online.

Normally I spend the precious free moments of my day on the computer: perusing blogs, reading and writing e-mail, and working on various other computer projects. Not this afternoon. Not once I had this book in my hands.

photoshop book

Author, Scott Kelby, is the editor of Photoshop User magazine and the training director for Adobe Photoshop seminars. He’s written over 20 books and has an informal, easy-going writing style that makes his work highly readable.

After five minutes of reading (only at stop lights, I promise), I was hooked and prepared to spend the rest of the day devouring the Photoshop Elements 5 book. If you own Photoshop and have been too busy/overwhelmed/scared to dive into the editing experience, head straight to the library or Amazon.com and check out this excellent book. Don’t be intimidated by its thickness, there are hundreds of step by step instructions and illustrations.

Included in the book is an entire chapter on retouching portraits – removing blemishes, whitening teeth and eyes, lessening wrinkles, and even giving a digital nose job. I am only a Photoshop novice, an amateur at best, but I thought it might be interesting to tackle some basic steps using a sweet picture of Sarah.

Here is the original photo:

original cutie pie

My flower girl.

The first thing I did was to remove some mild blemishes (freckles, a small scar on her forehead, etc). I used the Healing Brush tool. This is a fantastic editing tool as it allows you to easily make very subtle changes.

Next I thought it would be interesting to try softening the circles under Sarah’s eyes. Kelby’s book had a helpful section on this topic (offering three different ways to approach it). I tried the Clone Stamp but couldn’t get a natural look and went back to the Healing Brush tool.

blemishes and circles gently erased

Circles under eyes softened and few blemishes faded.

There are instructions, in the book, for whitening eyes and teeth. I tried both on another picture and it found them to be incredibly easy. Select the area to be lightened (using the Lasso tool) and then go to Enhance — Adjust Color — Adjust Hue/Saturation. For eyes select Red in the Edit Box and then slide the bar all the way to the left in the Saturation field. After making that adjustment, you change the Edit Box back to Master and then slide the bar to the right in Lightness field, adjusting it slightly. This will brighten eyes beautifully.

To whiten teeth, select the teeth (being careful not to include the gums or lips) and then follow the same procedure choosing Yellow in the Edit Box of the Enhance — Adjust Color — Adjust Hue/Saturation function. Slide the bar all the way to the left in the Saturation field (removing the yellow tints) and then switch the Edit Box back to Master and brighten slightly with the Lightness guide. The Preview feature in the editing panel immediately reflects the changes made.

Note to self: Be careful to use a deft hand and light touch in photo-editing.

After whitening Sarah’s eyes slightly, I decided to soften her skin tone. For this procedure I went to Enhance — Adjust Color — Adjust Color for Skin Tone and selected a spot on her skin. I liked the overall color change this edit applied to the picture so I didn’t adjust it further. There are controls within this editing box that allow additional alterations in the colors — Tan, Blush and Ambient Light — and a wonderful Reset button. I was able to fine-tune and modify as much as I liked, nothing like a handy “reset” button.

skin tones

This is probably the most dramatic change – warms and deepens the entire picture.

There was a detailed chapter on color correction. Much of the editing in Photoshop can be accomplished using the Quick Fix application. I didn’t use it with this picture because I wanted to explore some other, more complex techniques. Sure enough, there was a a complicated process of color correction in this chapter that involved setting the values of target colors for the shadow areas then using those default numbers to adjust the overall picture. I don’t exactly understand the mechanics behind the various steps (okay, I don’t understand them at all) but Kelby outlined each stage so clearly and with full-color illustrations that I had no trouble following the directions.

I saved Sarah’s picture after each step of editing but some of the differences are so slight, I didn’t include them here. As it is, this is a LOT of focus on one picture. By the end of this post we’re all going to be bored to death of Sarah and her flowers.

I thought it would be nice to heighten the color in the roses and Sarah’s blue shirt so I used the Magic Wand tool to select the pink flowers and blue shirt. It took several clicks (holding the Shift key down) to be sure everything was selected. There are other ways to select a portion of the photo, this just happens to be the one I used for this step. After I had the areas selected I clicked on Enhance — Adjust Color — Adjust Hue/Saturation and then increased the Saturation just a bit by sliding the bar to the right. I might have made her shirt too bright. It’s hard to find the line between enhancing and transforming.

Note to self: Keep working on that gentle touch. Don’t be afraid to use the undo button and start over.

brighter flowers

What pretty roses, Sarah, and such a nice, bright shirt.

Scott Kelby says most (okay, all) pictures need a bit of sharpening after the colors have been adjusted. Who am I to argue with an expert? I followed his instructions for sharpening a portrait. Kelby explains the reasons behind the various settings and includes numbers for basic sharpening, sharpening soft subjects, portraits, as well as moderate and maximum sharpening.

I’m telling you, this is an awesome book!

Again I went over to that wonderful little Enhance menu (seems like I spend much of my time there) and clicked on Unsharp Mask. I set the numbers to Amount 75% — Radius 2 — Threshold 3. Now that I look over the pictures I don’t see very much change after applying the sharpening (or rather unsharpening) tool. Interesting. Of course, subtle editing is theoretically the goal in this operation so I should be pleased.

I thought Sarah’s lips looked a little pale so I selected them and darkened the saturation level just a bit. Too much and she looked like she was wearing makeup. I wanted to try out one other tool in Photoshop’s portfolio so I decided to give Sarah a few highlights. I used the Dodge tool to “paint” some lighter streaks in her hair. I’m not sure it looks natural so I probably wouldn’t use this in my final picture but it was fun and certainly more affordable than going to the salon.

highlights

Would you people STOP looking at me, please.

So there you have it, a nice little tutorial on Photoshop Elements 5 from someone who knows little but can obviously read and follow directions. :)

Here’s a set of before and after pictures, side by side:

before after

Tune in again for another unique modification of this picture.

Kathy

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Rachel’s Winners!

Through careful, scientific procedure, Rachel has determined two winners for her Beanie Baby Giveaway.

Fetch

Fetch has grown quite accustomed to the life of luxury.

Congratulations to …

Hayley and Ema!!!

Thank you so much for participating in Rachel’s Giveaway. We have worked hard to take excellent care of Fetch and Ears during the past week – plenty of good food and regular exercise. They are easy going little animals with pleasant personalities. They are excited to go on an adventure.

ears

Ears is a bit shy.

Ema, your name was drawn first so you have first choice of Beanie Babies.

Tune in for other exciting giveaways.

Kathy

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