Category Archives: Family

P365 – Day 73 (Sarah & the dolls)

I came home this afternoon to find Sarah happily playing on the dining room floor. She had doll clothes spread everywhere and at least three dolls positioned in a circle near her.

sarah's dolls

My immediate reaction was to feel so proud of Rachel. Strange, I know, since it was Sarah on the floor playing. I do confuse the children (especially when I’m calling them – “David, Daniel, Schmedlap, whatsyername, get in here!”) but this wasn’t an example of motherly befuddlement. Rachel and Sarah stayed home sick with Tim while the other kids were out and about. I knew that if Sarah had all these dolls around, with Rachel nearby reading her book, it meant that Rachel had given her gracious permission. All but one of the dolls belonged to Rachel.

It is true that Rachel is a bit old to be playing with dolls and dress-up clothes but, sadly enough, she’s not too old to deal with selfishness and the desire to enforce her ‘rights’ of property ownership. I don’t think I’ve met a person who’s “grown out” of that little (or, perhaps not so insignificant) character flaw.

sarah

Rachel is a wonderful big sister to both David and Sarah. She reads to them, helps meet their needs during meals, and is cheerful and silly in play. Still, it is difficult to have a little sister who wants to play with ALL of your toys, almost ALL of the time.

So, if Rachel was reading in Big Blue and Sarah was nearby playing with Rachel’s dolls and her doll clothes, this was a beautiful moment of sisterly love. I was so proud to recognize some real maturity on Rachel’s part, to see her entrust her sister with some of her treasures.

Taking a little license with Proverbs 22:8:

A generous man [SISTER] will himself [HERSELF] be blessed, for he [SHE] shares his food [HER DOLLS] with the poor [LITTLE SISTER].

I’m proud of you, Rachel, for being kind and generous with Sarah today!

Kathy/Mom

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P365 – Day 70 (Comfort Food)

What says comfort food to you?

Macaroni and Cheese
Chocolate cake with hot fudge sauce
Fried Chicken
Oatmeal
Chicken noodle soup
Cheeseburger and fries

In our house pancakes ranks up at the top of the list for cozy, settle in and watch a movie, sugary goodness, comfort food.

Warning – these pictures may shock and dismay!

david's pancakes

This boy can’t even wait to cut his food.

I found an article interviewing chefs and food writers on their favorite comfort foods. Their choices were a bit more elegant than our typical fare but sounded delicious. It was interesting to see how much food and family were interconnected.

We had fried eggs with our pancakes this evening. I was afraid the ravenous looks on the children’s faces would be too much for this sedate crowd so I didn’t take any pictures. I have to protect the gluttonous.

these are good!

No doubt he’s checking to see if there is room for more pancakes.

Since my change in eating the past few years, typical comfort foods are no longer part of my menu. When I have a bad day or the children (darling though they are) are testing my patience, chocolate and bowls of chips are not available to me as snack foods. I have to find other ways of dealing with my frustrations. It’s been rather eye-opening (and humbling / embarrassing) to see the patterns I have of turning to food in times of stress.

For the most part I am much happier to be off sugar and other ‘trigger’ foods, but occasionally I miss some of those good old comfort foods. Look at this face.

smiling boy

Nothing like white flour, white sugar, buttery goodness for dinner. Yum.

Tim reminded me of the words that Jesus spoke when he was hungry (and he was TRULY hungry after 40 days of fasting):

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4

Ah, the ultimate comfort food. During trying moments in life, when I feel overwhelmed and want to dive into the cookie jar, I do have something available to me that offers real solace, help, and peace – God’s Word. No calories or fat grams to worry about.

Kathy

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tn_David_Silly_Glasses_Phone

P365 – Day 67 (Chips Ahoy)

It may come as a shock, but this is Tim writing, not Kathy. With the onslaught of Project 365, I have become a stranger to my own blog, nearly forgotten in the memories of my faithful readership (both of them). Not surprisingly, the number of people reading the blog has doubled since Kathy started writing in earnest … I’ll try not to read too much into that statistic. All this is just to say that those rumors about my demotion from ‘Contributor’ (one who posts blog entries) to ‘Subscriber’ (one who can only post comments) are false (or at least mostly so).


Not long after the new year dawned, Kathy and I had an opportunity to attend the Jefferson Baptist Church Prayer Conference. This blog entry is not about that conference, however many times Kathy and I have promised to write something about it.

One outgrowth of the conference, however, was a renewed interest in writing down goals for ourselves. As it was repeated many times during the conference, “a goal that is not written down is not a goal.” We were encouraged to come up with goals in all the areas that mattered to us — spiritual goals, relational goals, financial goals, personal development goals, the list goes on and on. This blog entry is not really about those goals, either.

Most people will, by this time, have lost patience with this tiresome litany of ‘what this blog is NOT’, so I ought to include a gratuitous picture, to satisfy the masses.

David talking on the phone with Dad's glasses
This picture of David talking on my cellphone while wearing my glasses has nothing to do with this blog.

The conference speaker was asked by one of his congregants, “Do you play computer games?”, to which he answered, “Yes.” “How much time do you allow yourself to play?” She probed. “Half an hour a month,” he confided. He spoke at some length about his desire to use his time wisely and his recognition that computer games were a good way to be sucked into losing a lot of time that could be spent better in other pursuits. He likes playing some of the solitaire-style games, and so, once a month, he indulges. In retrospect, I probably should have skipped that session.

Sarah finds new and interesting uses for the chips

Are these math manipulatives?

On the way home from the conference, we thought about our parenting and the example that we (OK, mostly I) set in terms of leisure. I was convicted about the amount of time I allow my children to spend playing computer games, when they should, perhaps, be learning or playing interactively or serving others. While we don’t play that much during the week, some weekends have been dominated by computer gaming, especially during the dreary winter months here in Washington. We have noticed that when too much time is spent playing computer games, tempers grow short and a general spirit of churlish dissatisfaction descends upon the household.

kathy and the chips
Here’s the Grand High Keeper of the Chips, herself.

I also became convicted about the amount of time that I spend playing computer games. A word of warning: if you allow the Holy Spirit to convict you in one area, don’t be surprised if that spills over to another area. Truth be told, Jesus is not satisfied with anything less than all of our heart — He’s greedy that way. :)

Kathy and I talked and prayed about it, and we came up with a strange scheme. Truth be told, the idea came up thanks to our love for the online casino games we play on verajohn.se during our free time. Each Wednesday, the participants in the computer-game-rationing plan receive several poker chips. Each chip represents a period of time, such that blue chips are one hour, green chips are two hours, and white chips (formerly red) are a half-hour. Initially we started with an allotment of four hours a week, but this was soon reduced to a scant three and a half hours a week. When anyone wants to spend a chip, they must announce it, hand over the appropriate chip to Kathy, grab a timer (we have several) and carefully monitor the time they spend.

Rachel the chip miser
Rachel the chip miser

One initial hurdle we needed to overcome was the fact that we didn’t actually have any poker chips. We’d been eyeing the ones at https://sixofthebest.co/best-poker-chips-set/ for some time now. We play a lot of cards, but we don’t gamble. There is a long story behind that, but it doesn’t figure prominently here, so I’ll skip it. We zipped over to the store and found a set of 50 blue clay poker chips, very satisfying in their weight and quality. Everyone enjoys clinking them together (the sound of a dropped chip rivets the attention of all). Sarah was at first very distraught that she was excluded from the rationing plan (she really doesn’t play any non-educational computer games). She was consoled by the promise that she could play with my chips any time she wanted, and the first week of rationing was launched.

Sarah rifles through my chip stash

“Whatever you do, Sarah, don’t drop Daddy’s chips!”

As it turns out, I am used to playing quite a bit more than 210 minutes of computer games in a week. (Thirty minutes of Pirates goes by astonishingly fast.) Three and a half hours sounds like a large number … I’m pretty sure I don’t want to divulge how much I played before we started rationing. Let me say that when I am busy, days and even weeks can go by without much intensive play, but when I am idle, I can put in two or three hours some evenings, and more than that on a Saturday.

One interesting outgrowth of the plan has been the ‘chip economy’ that has developed. When a person is low on chips, they can sometimes earn more by taking on extra chores or behaving in an exceptionally good way. It is astounding how cheerful some of us are about extra work around the house, now that this reward is available. There has also been a lot more collective watching — rather than spend a chip, some children find it entertaining to watch a sibling spend one. Joshua, Rachel and David are chip-misers (in varying degrees), while Daniel and I are chip-spenders. As of this writing, Joshua has nearly 20 hours saved up (he really hates being chip-poor) while Daniel and I have less than 5 hours (and only that because yesterday was ‘payday’). Last weekend Rachel paid David a half-hour chip to clean her room; both went away very satisfied with the transaction.

Daniel counts his chips often

Daniel keeps careful track of his chips and knows EXACTLY how many he has at all times.

I find myself kicking my heels aimlessly in the evenings, some times, with a number of positive results. I’m more responsive to my younger two kids, and I’m more likely to help clean up the kitchen or talk to Kathy. I am playing many more board games than I used to, and I am enjoying some good books. I find that I am much more likely to spend time on Saturdays preparing for the Sunday School class I teach, and the time ‘lost’ working with the 5th and 6th graders on Wednesday evenings is not quite as painful as it used to be. Many nights I even go to bed earlier (a huge boon during allergy season).

The chips, in all their glory.
No, we haven’t moved to Vegas.

Because of chip-hoarding, we had to buy some additional chips to round out the initial lot of 50 one-hour chips. First we found some cheap red, white and blue plastic ones, and we adopted the red chips as half-hour chips. Sadly, these were so different in shape and quality that they suffered the same fate which befell several one-dollar coins (e.g. the Susan B. Anthony dollar and the Sacagawea dollar), here in the USA. Yesterday I was browsing in the dollar store, and found a cheap set of plastic chips which (although they don’t clink like the original blue ones) were at least the same shape and size. We adopted the green and white chips from that set, and the chip-famine of 2007 was averted. (Prior to this, an ugly threat was circulating, to the effect that existing chip hoards might be ‘nationalized’. This caused some speculators to panic, with devastating results on the chip economy. Happily, wiser heads prevailed in the Fed, and an equitable and stable monetary policy was re-established.)

The Silas Marner of chips
Joshua, the Silas Marner of chips.

I can’t tell you where this will end … Kathy keeps threatening to further tighten the chip supply, perhaps down to three hours a week or even less. As much as it pains me to say it, I am glad that we have adopted this discipline, if only because it sets a good example of self-discipline to my children in an area where Kathy and I are both lacking. Daniel watches me like a hawk, and all the children are careful to squeal on me if I play ‘just a few seconds’ beyond my timer. In a twisted way, it has substantially heightened my enjoyment of the time I play computer games — I am careful to squeeze my money’s worth out of each half-hour chip.

I am reminded of the parable of the rich fool, as related in Luke 12, which I think relates to this topic:

Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ‘

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

“This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

In thinking of how I want to be a good steward of the time that God has given me, I need to think in terms of building with gold, silver and precious stones, rather than with straw, hay and wood. I have no idea how much time I have left, and I want my time to count for something more eternal than my personal comfort or entertainment.

Or at least all but 3.5 hours a week. :)

Tim

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P365 – Day 60 (A Letter to Sarah)

Dear Sarah,

Hello Princess! We had another busy day – nothing extraordinary or unusual – just one of many that flow together to make the beautiful, crazy tapestry of our life. I’m taking a quiet moment to write and tell you that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I pushed you aside this morning when you wanted to climb in my lap (I already had a keyboard there and was “busy”).

I’m sorry I didn’t let you kiss my cheek (I was eating breakfast and was “too busy for kisses”).

I’m sorry I didn’t snuggle in for another book at school time. Your request was so simple and sweet and yet, I pushed you aside. It was time to move on to the next thing.

I’m sorry I fussed at you for pulling on my jacket in the library. I told you to “hold on” and then was impatient with your tugs. Even though I could see the irony in the moment – you were “holding on” but not “waiting” like I intended – I still felt irritable.

I’m sorry I didn’t take the time for a real embrace this evening. I was hurrying out the door and didn’t pause for more than a quick brush as I went by.

Please forgive me. You are my precious daughter and I love you. Your smile and cheerful bounce brings a deep, contented joy to my heart. Even though I was busy and distracted today, you remained radiant and full of warmth. I am so blessed to be your mother and I am honored that God chose to place you in our family. May tomorrow bring a new sweetness to our relationship.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23

Most of all, I am excited to see the way God is pulling and tugging at your heart. He wants to do wonderful things in your life. His love is everlasting and unconditional (unlike a tired, preoccupied mommy). He is calling you to Himself.

And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory. Romans 8:30

Here is a little glimpse of your day.

sarah's spelling list

Contemplating your (okay, Daniel’s) spelling list – checking off the words you finished.

sarah smiles

“I’ve got these words down pat.”

sarah and the boys

Some stair sliding with the boys. All part of a busy day.

You bring joy and laughter to our home, Little Princess.

Love,
Mommy

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P365 – Day 58 (Rachel’s New Look)

I asked Rachel and Joshua if they had any opinions on the blog – if there was anything I should add or change, what they liked reading and so on. Joshua, in his typical easy-going manner, didn’t have much to say. “Can’t think of anything,” he shrugged. Of course, he’s busy working on his own FIVE PAGE (so far) blog on the middle school retreat (you are now forewarned – it will be coming!). He’s distracted and trying to find his own blogging ‘voice,’ he doesn’t have time to help me with my soul searching or blog searching or whatever it was I was looking for. This morning, when I told him I posted three blogs last night he said, “Goody!” and scooted right over to the computer chair, so he must find something interesting to read in the blogs.

see no evil

See No Evil!

Rachel, in her typical manner (talkative, outspoken and yet contemplative), had LOTS of thoughts on the subject. She gave me all sorts of hints and ideas and helpful tips. I was surprised that she said she would like to see more blogs about our daily activities. Hmmm. I can see where there are some who might like to read a detailed accounting of our day (grandparents for example, the rest of the group would surely fall asleep) but I was a bit thrown off that it was what SHE wanted to read. “Um, Rach, you were there, why would you want to read a blog that talked about all the things we did all day?”

hear no evil

Hear No Evil!

I’m still mulling that over. Perhaps that is the power of journaling; reading over a description of the day captures the memories and holds them in place. Even the small pieces of the day are special. Maybe she likes the feeling of being a celebrity with your every move plastered all over the newsstands.

Obscure Movie Quote:

Hank: It’s gettin’ so as I can hardly go out in public any more. I mean, really, between the autograph hounds and the paparazzi…

Kate: Autographs and everything? I mean, just the one commercial, and you have paparazzi?

Hank: Yeah. I’ve never actually seen them, but, you know, they hide in the bush and… they get their shot.

So, in an attempt to please the masses (or at least one of my children), today I will blog about our day.

speak no evil

Speak No Evil!
David and Sarah illustrate some guidelines for the Duckabush Blog.

Joshua, my faithful early bird, was the first one up today. I think he likes having the house to himself for just a little bit. Who can blame him – in a family this size you have to seize your solitude where you can. Mine is late at night, his is early morning. We’ve practically got the day covered.

It also makes Joshua rub his hands together in satisfaction, chortling with glee knowing he gets a head start on school every day. He finishes his math before the rest of us are even up, much less calculating equations.

I’ve been staying up late blogging these days (what with the trauma of ‘advisor’ or ‘adviser’ it’s a wonder I can sleep at all) so there are often several children awake before me. Unlike those rascals, I am usually showered and dressed. They are disheveled and sleepy looking.

joshua reads blog

Joshua, in his cozy IKEA comforter, reads the blog.

While the children lounge around with an assortment of blankets and pillows that accompanied them downstairs, I turn on my computer and get started on breakfast. Then begins my morning refrain, “Get dressed! Get started on your math! Eat breakfast” With five children, four of whom are NOT chipper morning people, I say those three things often. Depending on their hunger, I either get blurry looks or demands for cereal and milk. Joshua and Rachel start their own, new little morning ritual – begging for the “first” shower of the day. We won’t go into details about what time Tim got up and took his. He assures me he is fully awake by the time he pulls into the office parking lot. I try not to think about his commute time. Can catatonic people drive safely? If they have a diet Coke in hand does that increase or decrease their driving abilities?

This morning we had several errands that needed tending, one of great urgency. There were OVERDUE library videos in the book bag!!! Horrors! We have discovered (and exploit whenever necessary) a fascinating little loop hole in the library return system. If you return your books or movies in the drop off spot BEFORE (this is key) the library opens they BACK-DATE your item to the last time the library was open. This has saved me more times than I would like to admit. Today I had three dvd’s to return (all due on Saturday). Since our library is closed from Sun until Tuesday, I could effectively return the movies before it opened in the morning and owe nothing! That’s right, nothing. Insert relieved, smug dance here.

I gathered the kids and set off for the library. We dropped the books and dvd’s off and then went on our other exciting errand: picking up Rachel’s New Glasses!

excited kids

These children don’t get out much. You can feel the anticipation in the air.

Rachel’s new glasses are beautiful! They fit her perfectly and look great. She does NOT need them for reading, only distance.

ready to go?fitting 1let's get them on

The woman handling Rachel’s fitting was a bit disconcerted about all the pictures I was taking.

“Is this for her scrapbook?” she asked.
“Just trying to appease the paparazzi,” I replied, “who knows how much I can make off of these shots.”

The three younger kids stood by in wonder and eager attention. Who needs paparazzi when you have younger siblings watching your every move.

three kiddos

When Rachel was all finished, David declared (in a firm voice), “I am NEVER getting glasses. Oh no.” I looked at him pityingly and started recounting all the people in our family (on both sides) who wear glasses. Even the receptionist was a bit amazed at the length of the list. I’m sure she was wondering if there was anyone in the family who doesn’t wear glasses. Um, Matthias the guinea pig has 20/20 vision, as far as we know.

I grabbed a pair of small frames and told David to try them on. See what you think, I said. Getting in the optical spirit of things, he was game to see how they fit.
david smiles

The red spot on the bottom of the glasses is a sticker not, as some have suggested, a wound inflicted by a sibling during the short time we were in the doctor’s office.

david's glasses

“I think maybe I want glasses,” was David’s immediate response. Ah, the fickleness of children. He does look pretty darn cute, I must admit.

From the doctor’s office we made our way back to the library. Ahem, we needed to actually go into the library – not just skulk around dropping off overdue books (did I just use the word ‘skulk’ in a blog??). Unfortunately we had twenty minutes to kill before the library opened. Rachel spent most of the drive reading signs and commenting on how clear everything was. Serious mommy guilt moment – how long has this child needed glasses??

We decided to head to the grocery store – get that free cookie for the day – and stock up on fruit (which my children eat at an alarming rate, any fruit trees around here?). By the time we had used up (eaten up?) the twenty minutes, we realized Rachel had left her jacket at the eye doctor. Back into the car. Back to the optician’s and back to the library.

Rachel, I am racking my brain as to why you think all of this would be interesting to anyone. Are you having fun reading the blog? Is this what you meant? I love you! I think your “new look” is very chic.

At the library we loaded up on books. Ah, the happy sound of that little librarian stamp as our books and videos (“I promise, Tim, we will NOT return these ones late.”) are processed.

Obscure movie clip (I don’t think there are any lines in this scene): The librarian stamps the books and each time he does so, the place rings with a LOUD, ringing clang. I love the look the librarian gives his little stamp. Priceless. There’s power in books!

From the library we go home (can it be possible this short outing took so long?) for lunch and the rest of our school day. Now I know why I don’t blog about our day’s events. It isn’t that it’s particularly boring, it’s just plain LONG! I start out tired from living through the day and am exhausted by the time I finish the blog. And, as Tim would graciously point out, my blogs are long enough as they are.

Last obscure movie quote (with link to sound):Let me sum up.

Read books
Supervised chores
Checked math
Made lunch
Mediated discussions/fights btw children
Did more school reading
Civil War movie
Laundry
Talked on the phone
Dinner
Prayer time with Tim
BSF
Playing
Cleaning
Bible chapter
Blogging

And so on. All in a day’s work.

Kathy

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