Category Archives: Tim

Being a Disciple of Jesus, Budget & Money, Tim

Goals, a 2014 Reprise

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One thing for which I am particularly thankful is a church that encourages goal setting (and accountability). Just this morning as I was leaving Sunday School, my wife sat down with three or four of the women from our class to begin encouraging each other on their pursuit of this year’s goals. Since I hadn’t written mine yet, I pretended to have urgent business elsewhere. Besides, it was only for girls.

Our Pastor is particularly disciplined and aggressive in setting goals for himself, and many of the church leaders set a very good example in this regard. Each year I make a list of goals, seeking to ‘run in such a way as to get the prize’ (1 Corinthians 9:24). And each year I fail in many ways; yet somehow this is not discouraging to me. Perhaps this is because I compare it to the failure I would have if I set no goals at all.

My nephew Samuel and I probably should set goals for winning a game of Eclipse.

My nephew Samuel and I probably should set goals for winning a game of Eclipse.

Last week at AWANA, I offered the kids a revised version of last year’s Goals Worksheet and encouraged them to bring a completed copy to AWANA next week.

“If you bring it back completed, I will give you a wooden nickel,” I promised.

Forgotten is the sage advice you may have heard from your grandfather, “Don’t take any wooden nickels!” Kids today gladly accept them, possibly because of their worth in comparison to our debt-devalued currency, or (more likely) because I redeem them for a free can of pop (most of ‘em prefer root beer).

Don't take any wooden nickels ... unless they are like this one!

Don’t take any wooden nickels … unless they are like this one!

Then, as often happens, my mouth ran away without my brain in attendance. “And if I don’t have a copy of MY goals completed and ready to show you by next week,” I shouted, “I’ll give you ALL a wooden nickel!”

So much for my wily plan to drag out my goal-setting until people stop asking me about my goals. These AWANA kids are ruthless and relentless. They will stop at nothing to squeeze a wooden nickel out of me. I guess I’d better trot out a list of goals for the year, before Wednesday arrives and I am bankrupted.

A quick word about goals. I think they should cover as many areas of your life as you can — so I usually divide mine up into Spiritual, Marriage, Parenting, Personal and Administrative goals. Then I add an extra category for Fun goals, and (if I feel brave) one more category for BHAGs (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals).

Maybe not as big and hairy as my beard ...

Maybe not as big and hairy as my beard …

So here are my goals. I’m not trying to brag, as those of you who know how I actually perform on my goals can probably attest. I’m just trying to respond in thankfulness to my God whose mercies are new every morning (and every year) and who gives me the power to attempt great things for Him.

  • Spiritual Growth & Maintenance
    • Pray through the church prayer letter, weekly
    • Pray for my AWANA leaders by name, weekly
    • Pray for each of my family members, daily
    • Read my Bible plan for 280 days (finish current year’s plan + 180 days on a new plan)
    • Teach a Resolution class for men
    • Attend the Perspectives missions class in the Fall with Kathy
    • Recite & track my commitments every day (I have a personal statement of faith and intent)
    • Write an encouraging note, card or e-mail to someone, each week
    • Write a blog post about something I am thankful for, each week
    • Listen to one ‘extra’ sermon a week

  • Marriage
    • Pray with Kathy 2x/week
    • Go out on a date with Kathy at least 1x/month
    • Have a ‘home date’ with Kathy 3x/month

  • Parenting
    • Celebrate Special Days™ in some form (at least one child per week)
    • Read some kind of Bible devotional to my kids 3x/week
    • Discuss at least one of my Convictions™ with my kids each week

  • Personal
    • Write two blog posts each week (in addition to thankful blog)
    • Exercise 4x/week, 25 minutes minimum
    • Reduce weight to 203 lbs

  • Administrative
    • Review my goals weekly
    • Report on goals via e-mail to my ‘boys’ weekly
    • Continue using my TaskList™ application at work to be accountable for my performance

  • Fun & Family
    • Play at least 1 board game/week with my family
    • Go camping as a family at least once
    • Vacation in Turks and Caicos with my family
    • Complete a working game prototype with Joshua (Ziba)
    • Finish my skit collection website

  • Big Hairy Audacious Goals
    • Increase tithe/offering to 25% of my gross income

Some of you may wonder why these goals bear a striking resemblance to some of my previous year’s goals. This is no coincidence — these are the things that I (a) think are important, and (b) have difficulty performing. It should be no surprise, that some of them would crop up on my list of goals, year after year.

Joshua was certainly surprised when Kathy and I resumed writing our blog ...

Joshua was certainly surprised when Kathy and I resumed writing our blog …

One of my best college friends recently commented on an earlier blog post, questioning whether personality type is a major factor in a person’s willingness and decision to set goals or not. She suggested that people who tended toward ‘Perceiving’ on the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator (vs. ‘Judging’) might find it more difficult and less rewarding to set goals than those on the other end of the spectrum. Unfortunately, my most recent test results on that measure were exactly divided between ‘Perception’ and ‘Judgment’, so that doesn’t really give me an ‘out’. In any case, I found this article interesting and informative on that question, particularly this paragraph:

Sometimes people feel they have both. That is true. The J or P preference only tells which preference the person extraverts. One person may feel very orderly/structured (J) on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable (P). Another person may feel very curious and open-ended (P) in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured or decided (J).

I am thankful that 2014 gives me a fresh start on my desire to be disciplined and to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God. All my pathetic 2013 failures are hereby washed away (if only to make room for my 2014 pathetic failures) and I am excited to see what God will empower me to do this year.

Tim

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The Rest of the Appendix Tale

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Parts Tim left out in his appendix story:

“I don’t have appendicitis, it must be all those fruits and veggies we’ve been eating. Look, I can jump up and down ten times. I’m pretty sure any sharp movement would hurt if it was my appendix.”

Tim jumped up and down in my mom’s small Texas kitchen, refusing to believe he could be sick with anything serious.

Tim looks so healthy here.

Tim looks so healthy here. This is obviously a “Before” picture.

“Besides, Joshua got appendicitis on our last day in Texas years ago, it would be too much of a weird coincidence if I got it too. I mean, go figure. The irony. Haha.”

Fast forward two hours. Returning home from the library, where we had internet, researched some of Tim’s symptoms and made contact with one of my favorite all time nurses (aka Kirstin), we looked over the house for Tim.

Who was in bed, moaning.

“We don’t need to do any pressure tests, it’s definitely my appendix. Pain in my right side. Not going away. We need to make our way to the hospital.”

Ah, the irony.

This, of course, was not as easy as it sounds. We were in a little town, hours from a major city, with a rental car that was only in Tim’s name, and we had a flight to catch in Dallas in less than three days.

We made a series of calls –

Can we change our flight without a fee? No.
Even in a medical emergency? No.
What hospital is covered by our insurance? 2 Random Names of hospitals we’d never heard of.
Is there a car rental place nearby where we can add another driver? No.
To the older kids back at home in Washington – “No worries, we’re just heading to the hospital. Yep, appendicitis. I know, the irony.”

Tim didn’t want to uproot my mom and the kids, but I did NOT want to be alone in a strange city with my husband in the hospital. So we packed everything up, grabbed food out of the fridge, locked up the house, and set off for San Antonio.

Tim, being honorable and stubborn and unwilling to break our car rental contract, insisted on driving the 2 plus hours to San Antonio.

“Kathy,” he managed to gasp out after a bump in the road caused him to flinch in severe pain, “I can just see us getting stopped while you’re driving, getting a ticket or in an accident and on top of everything, having to pay a stupid fine to the car rental place! I am okay to drive.”

Sometimes I am amazed at Tim’s integrity and honor. He was not willing to violate the rental agreement and, in some sense, place us outside of God’s protection, even if it meant his own personal discomfort.

So we drove at a (safe) break-neck speed to San Antonio. First stop – the car rental place. He threw the keys at me and we hurried (okay, he mainly stumbled) into the office, added my name to the account, and were even waived the fees for switching the car return from Dallas to San Antonio. Bless Tim’s honest heart!

And then I picked which hospital to go to:

Kathy – to the Random Night Clerk at the car rental agency – “Um, so our insurance covers two hospitals in San Antonio. Which one should we go to?”

Random Night Clerk – “Methodist. My mom had surgery there this year and they took good care of her, I think. She seems okay now.”

Great, that’s good enough for me. Thank the Lord for Google maps and my phone. We found the hospital and got Tim settled into the ER.

Also, praise God for friends who take care of me (even from 1000′s of miles away). My dear friend Michelle (who knew I was pretty much INCAPABLE of making any more decisions – that whole hospital choice had exhausted me) figured out a hotel for us – sent me the address, got me set up with a discount and Google Maps pointed us in the right direction. Ahhh. Sleep.

While Tim was waiting for care in the hospital, we toured San Antonio. Nothing like ignoring the suffering patient and sight-seeing with the other summer tourists. Bad wife or resourceful mom? It’s a toss-up.

River Walk

River Walk

This was the call I did get in the middle of our yummy meal out that day (love Tex-Mex food!):

“Hey sweetie.”
“Tim, are you okay? Have they scheduled things yet?”
“No, I’m still waiting for the doctor, but these pain meds are GREAT!”
“Oh, good. We’ll be there soon.”
“Okay, listen, I just wanted you to know that the doctor told me last night that there was a little tumor on one of my kidneys.”
::silence::
“What?”
“Yeah, so I didn’t want to worry you last night.”
“Um, or this morning when I was there at the hospital?”
“Heh, heh. No, but I did want to tell you before I went into surgery. You know, so you’d know what was going on and all.”
::silence::
“Tim.”
“Yes, dear?”
“You are NOT allowed to get cancer and die, do you understand me?”
“Yes, dear. Enjoy your lunch and say hi to your mom and the kids for me.”

My phone, which was obviously exhausted from all my Google Map usage, died in the middle of our walk and I totally missed Tim’s call saying he was going into surgery. Cue bad wife moment.

My wonderful, generous, caring aunt and uncle covered some of our expenses as we moved to a hotel right off the River Walk and close to the hospital.

We had to go see the Alamo. We were in San Antonio. We had time.

We had to go see the Alamo. We were in San Antonio. We had time.

Tim did fine during surgery (except for that whole bursting of the appendix near the end and all). He was up and walking almost immediately. Why? Because we had a flight to make in Dallas early Friday morning (surgery was Wednesday night).

How far is it from San Antonio to Dallas? FOUR HOURS!!

Yes, it was his plan to come out of the hospital, after an emergency appendectomy, hop in the car to drive through the night and then get on a plane for a day of flying back to Washington State.

Did I mention Tim is godly, honorable, and STUBBORN??

We worked through all sorts of schemes. A friend from church offered to fly the kids home so I could stay longer with Tim while he recuperated at the hospital. My mom offered to take the kids back to her house at Fort Clark and stay there while I waited at the hospital for Tim. Tim’s dad called and said he would take a flight from WA and bring David and Sarah home with him.

We were all waiting and trying to see how serious Tim’s surgery was and how his recovery would be. The tumor/cancer threat was in the back of everyone’s mind. Except maybe Tim.

Tim, of course, was determined to get on home. He got out of bed as soon as they would let him and started walking laps around the hospital. Then he proceeded to convince his nurse, who convinced the doctor, who convinced me, that he was fine and could leave in order to make the flight home. Craziness.

Before I could arrange anything with the kids, Tim was released and ready to go. We drove straight to the airport.

“Let’s make our appeal to the airlines in person and see if they’ll waive the flight changes,” I said, hoping the sight of Tim in a wheelchair and orthopedic socks would move even the hardest of hearts.

“Yes, because if not, we’re driving to Dallas tonight and getting on that other flight,” he said, looking a bit pale despite his bold words.

You can't see the yellow socks - they're impressive.

You can’t see the yellow hospital socks – they’re impressive.

Sure enough, once again, the Lord went before us. We had an extremely gracious airline representative whose manager immediately changed our flights WITHOUT any fees or costs and sent us on our way. It meant we would miss Joshua as he flew back to college that same day, but it was the best we could do.

So, cough, cough, since Tim was now able to actually rest for the day, I took the kids and my mom and set off to enjoy one more day of vacation. We drove all the way back to my mom’s house in Fort Clark (she wasn’t due to return to Michigan for a few more weeks) and spent the day swimming and relaxing.

Off to the pool while Tim sleeps back at the hotel.

Off to the pool while Tim sleeps back at the hotel.


Pool Wonder Powers - activate!

Pool Wonder Powers – activate!

Ahem, we checked in on Tim every few hours. Probably kept him from resting with our care. The next morning we said good-bye to my mom, drove back to San Antonio, picked up Tim at the hotel, and flew on home to Washington.

Where we were met by more of our awesome friends. “We love to spend our date night picking up people at the airport,” they actually said. Bless their hearts!

And came home to fresh groceries, beautiful flowers and our own beds. Ahhh. We would deal with the cancer part later. And, praise, praise, praise the Lord, as Tim shared, it was handled easily through a long, but not complicated, surgery.

There's even some Nutella for the patient.

There’s even some Nutella for the patient.

Just thought I would fill in some of the untold parts of the story.

Kathy

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“Your Appendix Saved Your Life”

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Back in July, we traveled to Arkansas to attend my nephew’s wedding. It was a bit tricky getting everyone there, since the older kids were serving as counselors at Wilderness Northwest, attending Worldview Academy, and serving as Junior Staff at The Refuge. Using all my crafty mileage tricks, we found flights to Dallas for everyone. Renting a van and reassembling the family from our scattered flights, we drove through the night to Siloam Springs, where the wedding was held.

Tim and Sunny, becoming a new family.

Tim and Sunny, becoming a new family.

Since I am fairly frugal with airfare, I scheduled a visit to Fort Clark (our family’s favorite West-Texas vacation spot) and arranged to meet Kathy’s Mom in Dallas. We spent a lovely week in the hot Texas sun, but then I became sick.

The diamond-shaped pool at Fort Clark is the length of a football field.

The diamond-shaped pool at Fort Clark is the length of a football field.

Soon it was evident that I had appendicitis (we’re old pros at appendicitis, since both Joshua and Daniel had appendicitis back in 2006, six months apart). Driving two hours to the hospital in San Antonio, I presented myself in the Emergency Room, and was, in the course of time, triaged and examined. They scheduled me for a CT scan, but seemed unimpressed with my self-diagnosis. The lab tech later told me that 90% of patients complaining of appendix troubles are actually suffering from something else.

So I was quite smug when the CT scan revealed that I was, in fact, suffering from acute appendicitis, and needed immediate surgery. Not long after that, the doctor on duty at the ER poked his head into my cubicle.

“Um, we got back the results from your CT scan,” he told me nervously. “There was something else, in addition to the appendicitis.” He edged away from me, as though my ailment was contagious.

Not my actual CT scan machine, although it looked exactly like this one.

Not my actual CT scan machine, although it looked exactly like this one.

“Oh really?” I tried to muster interest, but an inflamed appendix has a way of focusing my attention to the exclusion of other concerns.

“Yes, it seems you have a tumor on your kidney, between 3 and 4 centimeters in diameter.”

Without any further explanation, the doctor found work to do elsewhere. It seemed very strange, to me, but then I didn’t really care, because they soon gave me a substantial dose of morphine, which cheered my outlook considerably.

It was a long night, and an even longer day, but eventually the surgeon found time to remove my appendix (which burst while he was taking it out). Along the way someone mentioned the word ‘cancer’ in reference to the kidney tumor, a word the ER doctor had carefully avoided saying.

David and Sarah tried hard to cheer me up as I recovered from surgery.

David and Sarah tried hard (and mostly succeeded) to cheer me up as I recovered from surgery.

Later, I found out that 90% or more of kidney tumors of this type are cancerous, and that 4 centimeters was considered the maximum size for optimal surgical removal. Apparently, tumors that grow to be larger than that tend to impact the kidney function and often spread to other organs in the body.

Through a long series of unlikely events, God brought us back home to Washington without having to pay extra fees to the airline or to the rental car company. In every detail, God was there, paving the way for us so that I could recover and get back home without using extra vacation or cash. While we were still in Texas, several friends back home called around and made me an appointment with the best urologic surgeon in the area.

My favorite urologic surgeon

Frank, my favorite urologic surgeon

By the following Tuesday, I was just beginning to feel human again — just in time for my appointment with the surgeon. Soon we sat in his examination room, peering at the CT scan results.

“Your appendix saved your life,” doctor Frank told me, confidently. “If you hadn’t had this CT scan, it would have been years before you noticed this kidney, which is almost certainly cancerous. The cancer would have grown spread through your lymph nodes, and would have been much more difficult to stop, even with chemo and radiation. As it is, I think we can remove it surgically and send you on your way.”

About six weeks later, the surgeon removed the tumor, which was, in fact, cancerous. He was able to save much of the kidney, and the tissue removed had clear margins, so the prognosis is very good. I’m very relieved to be cancer free without having to undergo chemo or radiation therapy, especially as I have recently learned a little more about the side effects of such drastic cancer-fighting treatments.

Greg and Tina who happened to be in town, watched the kids while I was in surgery the second time.

Greg and Tina who happened to be in town, watched the kids while I was in surgery the second time.

The long and short of it is this: through all these adventures, God showed Himself to be present and gracious and powerful in my life. He bent over backward to arrange matters so that I could not ignore or explain away His involvement in my situation. He showed that He loves me and that He still has work for me to do, or character to acquire, before He calls me home.

I know that God does not always intervene by healing the sick. Kathy’s Dad died very suddenly just three years ago, of an aggressive form of lymphoma, while hundreds prayed for his life to be spared. But when God does intervene to heal, it makes you want to sit up and take notice.

My appendix didn’t save my life — my God did that. Now I am left to wonder why, and how I can be faithful to use that life in a way that pleases Him.

Tim

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Goals, AWANA & Godly Plans

I LOVE fresh starts. My spirits lift when I think of new opportunities and new beginnings. I am definitely a Glass is Half Full kind of girl. Actually, I’m more like a Venti Americano ALL the WAY FULL kind of girl, but that’s another subject. As an optimist, I really and truly believe that THIS time I will meet my goals, THIS time I will change and grow, THIS time I will be different, conquer my weakness, blah, blah, blah.

This one keeps my heart full of joy and love!

I’m not sure why I continue to have such optimism when one of my other defining characteristics is a horrible inability to actually COMPLETE a project. Really, the only way I ever finish things is because they often come with concrete deadlines. Sigh.

Still, again this is where my optimistic nature immediately kicks in, I LOVE the New Year and the chance to reevaluate the previous year and cast some sort of vision for the upcoming year. In this and last weeks’ sermons, Pastor Jim has been teaching on the importance of establishing godly plans. [Best Time to Plant a Tree Pts 1 & 2] I so appreciate the emphasis on “godly” and “plans” rather than resolutions.

School and candy canes – perfect combination!

Tim and I have blogged on the subject of goals several times over the past few years. It has been a topic that encourages and challenges us in our growth as believers, parents, spouses, and servants in our local church body.

Last week Tim presented the idea of goal planning to our T&T kids at AWANA. These 3rd through 5th graders are such an exciting group to work with. They have energy, enthusiasm, and, unlike the younger ages, are capable of handling some complex and difficult concepts.

Brendan and Zach are ready for some serious goal planning!

Tim shared with them a video from the Skit Guys and selected six student to come up front and read a passage from I Corinthians 3. We try hard to keep the kids engaged and interested in the Word of God – and nothing like a little competition (“Pick me, Mr. Tim! Pick me!”) to focus their attention. :)

By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames. I Corin 3:10-15

Finally Tim passed out some goal planning sheets for the kids. Here’s a link to the Word file. I respect Tim immensely for encouraging the children to think about the upcoming year and make some decisions about how they want to spend their time and energy.

Mr. Tim offers a special prize for the kids who return their goal sheets!

Love that the night hasn’t even ended and Bethlehem already has her form filled out!

It has been a tremendous blessing to serve in AWANA as a family over the past few years. Tim is the T&T Director. I help him in T&T’s (administrative duties and the like). Daniel works in the games department (as Joshua did before he went off to college). Rachel is a Sparks leader (probably one of the best in the whole program). Sarah is a current T & T’er and David helps in Sparks when he isn’t attending middle school.

Another awesome T&T’er.

I hope to do some work on my only godly plans for 2013 as well in the next two weeks. I’m sure this will be the year …

Kathy

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Push-up Prophet

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A few days ago, I wrote a quick blog about Daniel and his passion for Diamond Push-ups. Who knew that in a few short days, these words would come home to haunt me?

It all started with a phone message from our AWANA Commander.

“Hey, Tim, I’m in Anchorage. You’re on your own,” Jimmy chortled remorselessly into my voice mailbox.

This is the kind of leadership and support I get from our fearless Commander. Other, more fortunate AWANA T&T Directors probably enjoy thoughtful mentoring and compassionate direction from their Commanders, but mine jets off to boondoggle in Alaska at a moment’s notice, leaving me to flounder alone.*

It was Crazy Hat Week at AWANA. Here David showcases his Spartan Mystery Knight look.

And flounder I did. I forgot to open the Cubby room, and didn’t turn on their heat until almost too late. I didn’t pray with the other workers, and I barely remembered to pick flag-bearers for the Assembly, which I convened a full minute late. I stumbled over the words in the pledge to the AWANA flag, but finally we arrived at the ‘Singing of the AWANA Song’, my favorite part of the Assembly.

Nate and Josh cut a dashing figure in their Crazy Hats.

When I was in the Army, I discovered that I had a loud voice, especially when lifted in song. Maybe it was a legacy from playing the trumpet for four years in Junior High (no, I didn’t spend four years in Junior High, it was only mostly over my Junior High period), or perhaps it was a gifting from God, knowing that I was destined to be the father of five children — but for whatever reason, I can be very loud. I like to think that I am setting a good example by putting my heart into singing, especially at church. (Except that we never sing the hymn about the ‘C-130′s, rolling down the strip’. I keep waiting for it, but our worship pastor doesn’t seem able to work it in.)

And so, when I sing the AWANA song, I try to drown out all the other kids and leaders (and I often nearly succeed). This week, I challenged them to a sing-off: “If you can sing louder than me, I’ll do pushups, otherwise, you will.” I chose Nate (who had always before been trustworthy) to be the judge.

The kids blew me out of the water. I could barely hear myself sing — even standing on tiptoe, bellowing into Nate’s ear, I think the kids were still louder.

As it turned out, Nate was immune to my crafty bribery attempt, and insisted that the kids "were just a little bit louder" than I was.

So I did pushups. In retrospect, maybe I should have done a few with Daniel in the past couple of weeks — it was embarrassingly difficult for me to pump out ten measly pushups.

My drill sergeant would not have been proud, this day.

I must be getting old. Maybe next week, I will challenge them one team at a time. I’ll bet I can drown out that sissy green team any day of the week.

Whatever happens, it has to be better than getting a pie in the face.

Tim

* The remarks about my AWANA Commander are pretty much all fabrications. Jimmy is actually a very godly and conscientious man, who does his best to rein me in and to minister to my leaders in spite of my abrasive personality. He travels to Alaska because he has to, and it is no boondoggle. It was just more fun to malign him.

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