Dad taught me about Ministry and the Church

You have to be on your guard about false doctrine, even in the church. Dad always weighed the words of preachers and teachers in the church carefully, examining the scriptures and discussing them at length with Mom and with the kids. This has stood me in good stead and guarded me from disappointment as I have encountered misguided ideas and people within the church.

Church programs should be supported, even Sunday evening services. My parents were as busy as anyone else, but Dad always made being at church a priority, which has proved a good pattern for us to emulate.

Everyone should have a ministry in the church – use your spiritual gifts. My Dad has the gift of teaching, and he has nearly always found a place to teach in a local church or chapel, wherever we have lived. Happily, I also have the gift of teaching, and so I have tried to find ways to use that gift to build up the church.

As it turned out, Dad’s gift was not in the area of fashion, although the white socks and black shoes made a certain statement.

Always get involved in a Bible study whenever you can. My parents have generally either joined or started a Bible study wherever they have lived, and Kathy and I have tried to do the same. Some of the best friendships we have formed have come about as a result of our involvement in various Bible studies. This is yet another benefit of a godly heritage … so many things I have learned and take for granted that others with less-godly Dads never had modeled for them.

Don’t eat all the cupcakes. When I was nine or ten we attended a chapel that served frosted cupcakes after church every Sunday, in a variety of pastel colors. My Dad taught me not to take more than one or two, which has translated into an adult understanding that I am not a consumer when I go to church. We seek to serve rather than to be served at church — my Dad modeled that concept to me through his life as summarized in that phrase: “Don’t eat all the cupcakes.”

Why we go to church — we go to church because we love God and because He commands us not to forsake the assembling together. We need fellowship, we need instruction, we need to minister to the other parts of the Body of Christ. My Dad understood that and encouraged us kids, as we transitioned from teenagers to adulthood, to find a good church and to stick with it.

Make sure your family is taken care of by church programs. My Dad takes being the spiritual leader of his family seriously. As our priest, he sought our spiritual growth and chose churches that could minister to us as a family.

Remember that people in the church are sinners, too – don’t let them get you down. As an Army Chaplain, my Dad had lots of opportunities to see people in a negative light, and had several occasions when people opposed him in his ministry. Somehow he maintained a healthy attitude — I never saw him bitter or particularly discouraged about the sin of others in the church. It has been a tremendous encouragement to me as I have lived out my life as a member of various churches.

Hang in there, even when things aren’t perfect at a church. It has been said, “If there was a perfect church, they wouldn’t let me in.” In the Army, Chaplains tend to be either very good or very poor, and Dad has had the opportunity to work with both kinds. His dedication to various chapel programs even in the face of poor leadership has served as a template for me in dealing with less-than-perfect churches.

Choose a church that has a pastor who preaches from the scripture. My Dad has always been (at least in my experience) a good student of the Bible, and holds the scriptures up as the rule for living. As we have had occasion to be church-shopping quite a bit in recent years, it has been helpful to remember the fundamental ingredient of a good church.

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Continuing the rather lengthy blog from yesterday … here are some more things my Dad has taught me.

Dad taught me about Finances.

Tithing was something that Dad did, faithfully, without complaining or even considering any alternative. One of the major blessings in my life has been his example in this area – it has made it very easy for me to obey my Lord in this area, watching my Dad do it so effortlessly over the years.

Offerings are gifts offered to God above and beyond the 10% tithe, which Dad also believed strongly in doing. He confided in me some details of the tithe/offering plan which he and Mom put together, and challenged me to give in ways that are meaningful and sacrificial. His example continues as an inspiration to me in my own gifts to God.

Frugality is an important part of good stewardship. Dad showed me that buying the cheaper item was often the best way to go, getting the most bang for the buck with money he considered not to be his own. As I have tried to be a good steward of the resources God has given me, I have been helped by Dad’s willingness to be intelligently ‘cheap’.

Bargain shopping: As taught by his own Mom, my Dad was always a good bargain shopper, and exercised his frugality by careful research and effort in finding the best deal. His example of thinking critically about purchases has probably saved me thousands of dollars, over the years.

Tricks with credit cards can be fun. I’m not sure Dad intended to teach this one, but he showed me how to rotate money at zero percent with zero or low transfer fees between credit cards. Sometimes you just need a little extra money, and there are banks out there dying to let you use theirs. It has gotten me out of a few scrapes, over the years, and I have enjoyed the cleverness of it. Whenever I take advantage of a zero percent loan, I think of Dad.

It is better to give than to lend. As an outgrowth of his generosity, I have seen Dad bless others by giving when they only expected a loan. By doing so, he has protected himself from damaged relationships when friends and relatives neglect to pay back the loan. Related to his generosity, I have always been proud of the way my Dad puts people ahead of money.

Invest in God’s Kingdom. My Dad was never one with a large stock portfolio or bulging IRA accounts, but has relied on his Army retirement and has invested in the Lord’s work over the years. As Matthew 6:19-21 says,

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Trust in God to provide your needs. A natural outgrowth of Dad’s example in investment, tithing and offerings, Dad trusted in God to provide for college expenses for us kids and for all the other things that people stress about. God has been faithful to my Dad in the matter of finances, and as I have seen this worked out in his life, I know God can be trusted in my life as well.

Some lessons even Dad gets to learn all over again, as he watches God provide for the financial needs of The Refuge during this construction phase.

Don’t fuss at your wife about money she spends. Dad believes in my Mom, and he trusts her to be careful with their money. As a result, Mom rises to that standard and is even more frugal than he is, sometimes. That has been a good thing for me to emulate in my own marriage, and has saved me many fights with my own wife.

Try to live below your means; don’t be greedy for stuff. I wish I had learned this lesson more thoroughly in my heart, not just in my head. Still, it is great to have a shield against the material idols that are so prevalent in our nation.

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Kathy tells me I shouldn’t post the remaining 40 things my Dad taught me, tonight, but that I should spread ‘em out over another day (or two). “Keep ‘em hungry”, she says.

I feel that I want credit, though, that I actually did write them all on my Dad’s birthday … but you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Tune in tomorrow for the next installment, if I can get a word in edgewise as I share this venue with a blog-happy girl posting her deluge of pictorial essays.

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Dad taught me about parenting

Children are not the most important thing in the family. This seems strange in our child-centered, topsy-turvy world, but Mom and Dad were already a family before any of us came to disturb their tranquility. Dad’s example of putting my Mom first helped me to understand that a good parent loves his child too much to put them on the throne of the family.

It is good to be silly with your kids. My Dad loves to laugh and to have fun and be silly – we’ve spent many an hour laughing together. I think I will always remember the vacation to ‘Switzerland’ we took, when our car broke down an hour from our house. We hid out at home, popping popcorn, playing games and having rubber-band fights while everyone thought we were away. It was one of the best vacations we ever took.

Sometimes Mom asks Dad to dress up strangely to support her weird ideas. This is Dad serving as a ‘waiter’ at an exclusive ‘Ladies Tea’ event. You can see he was really enjoying the party.

Work won’t hurt your children. My Dad wasn’t afraid to load me down with work – oh, how I hated those words, “It’ll build character.” Who knew I would actually need that character in life!

He who spares the rod hates his son. This scriptural injunction (Proverbs 13:24a) was never one I really appreciated as a child, but I sure have seen the truth of it as a parent. I discipline my children because I love them too much to let them persist in evil, as my father loved me. Thanks, Dad, for correcting me when I needed it!

Play games with your kids. Dad made time in his schedule to play Rook or Rail Baron with us kids, and showed that we were important to him by giving us his time, even if he did always hog the Atchison-Topeka and Santa Fe railroad. Now I have the legacy that it seems ‘normal’ to me for a Dad to play with his kids, and I reap the blessings of that for another generation.

Require your children to take responsibility for things. My Dad encouraged me to take charge of my life in the areas of jobs, finances, my walk with God and my academic pursuits, just to name a few. Dad knew better than to coddle me or do everything for me and a lot of my independence and competence comes from being given those opportunities.

Get outdoors. When we lived at Fort Lewis and when we lived in Germany, Dad made sure we had plenty of opportunities to hike and travel and enjoy the world God has made for us. I haven’t done so well with my own kids, but what inclination I do have in this area, I owe to my Mom and Dad.

Travel is better than toys. We never had a lot of ‘stuff’ when we were growing up … my parents felt it was better to spend money on travel than on a bunch of consumer electronics. As I raise my own kids in a materialistic society, it helps me to be grounded in a philosophy that favors experiences over toys.

Do daily Bible study with your kids. Dad faithfully led our family devotions nearly every weekday for many years, in the face of considerable opposition. He lived out the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-9:

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Require first-time obedience. We came across this idea in Gary Ezzo’s Growing Kids God’s Way parenting series, but it was something my parents lived and taught. I always knew that when Dad told me to do something (or stop doing something), I’d better obey right away. That has saved me (and my children) a lot of grief over the years.

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