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Tuesday Tips for Parenting – Throw Out Your TV!

new logo Apart from teaching us to love Jesus, one of the best things my parents did for me and my siblings was to fail to buy us a TV. Oh, we had a 9″ black & white TV for about 15 months while my grandmother lived with us — she was almost entirely blind and liked the noise for company. And my folks used to rent a TV and a VCR on a few long weekends during the winter for video-fests … so we weren’t completely TV-free.

The rest of the time, we didn’t have one at all. When others talked about “Who shot J.R.?” (I thought they were talking about Tolkien) or the latest escapades of Don Johnson in Miami Vice, my eyes would glaze over. I thought Moonlighting was working a second job, and wondered why it was so popular among high school students. Some people thought I was pretty weird: “You don’t have a TV?” they would gasp. Some assumed that our family was poverty-stricken, and would check to see if I was wearing shoes. Even in those days, not having a TV was unthinkable, for some.

Scootin' Along
Sometimes it is good to ride your scooter. This was one of those times.

Recent (2006) statistics from Nielsen, according to The Center for Screen Time Awareness indicate that the television has continued to become more and more important in the lives of American families. The average home in this country has more TVs than it has people, allowing each of us (on average) to watch 4 hours and 35 minutes of televised programming, day in and day out.

As a teenager, I began to appreciate the advantages of being TV-free. I was proud of the fact that our family was different, and I would look for opportunities to provoke astonishment:

Friend: So, my Science Report topic is on the Feeding Habits of Giant Squid.
Me: Say, that reminds me, did you know that our family doesn’t have a TV?

I was often very subtle about the way I would work it into the conversation, as you can see.

People used to ask me, “What do you do, without a TV?” Mostly, I read books, played games, rode my bike and played football or tennis. I used to mow lawns and do other yard work; later in high school I worked a job at a local hotel a few nights a week. When I couldn’t think of anything else to do, I did my homework.

When Kathy and I were first married, we decided not to have a TV in our house. Eventually we found a way to watch movies through our computers, and in 2003 we caved and bought a TV for use with our DVD and VCR players. Technically, then, I do have a TV, so I can’t occupy the moral high ground … but I will say that we have never watched any broadcast show on it. We limit what we watch to movies or shows that have been taped or recorded, and we are pretty discriminating about what we watch, and when we watch it. We generally only let our kids watch movies that we have pre-viewed, and we require the kids to pay a poker chip when they do watch a video. Neither Kathy nor I are particularly immune to the lure of TV — we’ve found it best to not allow it a foothold.

I think there are some huge advantages to eliminating broadcast (or cable) TV from your home:

  • Cost — many people pay $30-$100 per month for cable. What a huge savings, if you eliminated that drain on your resources!
  • Commercials — companies wouldn’t keep advertising their products on TV if commercials didn’t work. Who do you want to dictate your family’s spending, you or some company that doesn’t have your best interests at heart?
  • Protection against immorality — more and more, shows on broadcast TV and cable are ‘pushing the envelope’ of violence and sexual immorality. As children are exposed, they become acclimated to this filth that is so attractively packaged and humorously distributed, so that they come to believe it is ‘normal’ and appropriate. Even adults are susceptible to temptation and being deceived, last time I checked.
  • Time — it has been estimated that the average adult spends 40% of his or her free time watching TV. Getting rid of your TV might be a great way to reclaim a large bucket of time in these days when most people consider themselves stressed for time.

Worship at the Shrine
We keep ours in the garage, where nobody can see us making our offerings and burning our incense.

My largest objection to TV, especially the kind that you allow to be ‘pushed’ onto your family, is that it seems to serve as a concentrated avenue, inside the home, for worldly philosophies to attack you and your children. If you watch TV long enough, you can’t help but begin to subscribe to some of the ideas that are ‘preached’.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
– I John 2:15-17

If you are a Christian parent, have you ever thought about what you are teaching your children by letting them watch TV for hours on end? Have you ever considered the effect it has on your love for God, to allow yourself to be bombarded with a world-view that is inherently hostile to Him? Oh, I suppose there might be a handful of relatively harmless shows on TV; but they tend to be the exception rather than the rule, and few can stand up to any serious moral scrutiny.

Ride a bike!
I’ll be the first to admit that we are still a family of couch potatoes, even without a TV. How much bike riding would we do, if we allowed ourselves to watch television?

I could go on and on, but I don’t really need to. And I’m not trying to be all “holier-than-thou” — our family does not forgo entertainment. I’m just trying to bring the idea of living without a TV into the realm of the possible, for your consideration. There are lots of studies and resources available that catalog the evils of television — either you believe ‘em or you don’t. I’ve listed a few that I came across below:

Television and Health, California State University
How Television Viewing Affects Children, University of Maine
ParentsTV.org — Facts and TV Statistics
TV Turnoff Network

Last, but not least, here is an excerpt from Dee Duke’s excellent parenting seminar, in which he addresses this issue:
Dee Duke on TV (Warning, 6MB file, not safe for dialup.)

While some may tout the educational benefits of television, it is interesting to note this finding from a Zogby poll:

While 59 percent of Americans can name The Three Stooges, only 17 percent can name three Supreme Court Justices.

Tim, Project 365, Day 288

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Socktoberfest

October is an important month in our family. Tim and Joshua both have birthdays as does my sister in law, Elizabeth. Several of my dear friends also celebrate their birthdays in October. With all of these gala events, there’s hardly room for other parties or festivals. Or so I thought.

I may change my mind.

A new cyber friend of mine, Cindy from Still His Girl, hosts an annual Chocotoberfest. If you click on this link she gives specific details on how to throw your very own Chocotoberfest. There are contests and prizes and chocolate desserts galore. It looks like an amazing, fun night full of deliciousness. I wonder if Cindy had one of these little treasures at her party.

chocolately goodness

This is a must at any Chocotoberfest.

Sadly, I am currently living a no sugar life. Since most chocolate is usually found paired with sugar of some form, a chocotoberfest might not be the best choice for me. Cindy’s husband, Tim’s new pencil pal, has a different idea; instead of chocolate, how about a Cheesetoberfest.

Truly the mind boggles.

Again, I find myself in a bit of a dilemma. I’m in the middle of a very intense Reunion Countdown where I am limiting my calories and increasing my work outs. Cheese, it turns out, is often paired with calories, lots of calories. While calories are, in and of themselves not bad (they turn up in EVERYTHING), I have an aversion to eating my entire day’s worth in one sitting.

Today I stumbled on my very own October celebration – Socktoberfest.

gather ye socks

To hold your own Socktoberfest, invite friends and family to bring all their unmatched socks to your home (only clean socks allowed). Decorate the rooms with famous sock quotes such as:

“Never put a sock in a toaster.”
“I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.”

hold up your socks

Decorum is strictly followed at Socktoberfest, proper manners and all that.

Offer prizes for the person most dressed like a sock, the best missing sock story, and the most creative sock puppet.

Play games such as: Trail of Socks, Hide and Sock, Pin the Sock on the Dryer, and Bobbing for Socks.

tossing socks

grab a sock

The kids practice their sock throwing for the Sock Toss

This idea may take off and become a huge phenomena, just remember you heard it first on the Duckabush Blog. I’m still searching for some appropriate sock-based culinary delights to serve at the party and a theme song, so I need your input and suggestions.

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 287

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Do All Children Long for a Dog

Or cat or guinea pig? What is the origin of this deep seated desire for a pet?

joshua's got a puppy

Notice how Joshua keeps one hand on the mouse while holding a dog on his lap. That’s my boy! :)

My good friend and neighbor, Julee, recently (as in yesterday) acquired a dog. It was unexpected and a complete gift – food, accessories, dog carrier, dog all free. My kids have been writhing in jealous envy ever since.

Tonight the kids had an opportunity to dog sit little Mia while Julee and her family were at church. What a thrill. We’re probably the only family on the planet who would go around offering to pay for the opportunity to pet sit.

joshua, Mia and the girls

Joshua is not as dog crazy as the rest of the children but he was in the comfy chair and Mia was looking for a cozy resting place. Up into his lap the dog climbed. The main responsibility of this evening’s pet sitting job was to keep the dog awake. This picture looks mighty suspicious.

Joshua, is that little dog sleeping?

We did our best. She obviously found Joshua too relaxing to resist.

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 286

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I Am a Winner!

As a result of poor timing on the part of my parents, I missed the brief era in American education when it was fashionable to emphasize self esteem at the expense of excellence. My public-school teachers, in callous disregard of my tender little heart, stubbornly insisted that my grades correlate with my performance, so that I graduated from high school with more B’s than A’s. In college, this worrying trend persisted, and I was forced into a much closer acquaintance with my deficiencies than I would have wished. Sadly, being a grown-up isn’t all it is cracked up to be, and opportunities to rise above the mundane are infrequent.

Every once in a while, however, life offers an opportunity to reverse the negative flow; last week I found just such a chance.

I'm a real Winner!
Wouldn’t you award this man a prize?

I don’t read many blogs, but I do sporadically follow the adventures of Scott, a clever and quirky Dad, husband and pastor in the wilds of Indiana. One day I happened across a post in which Scott apologized for a recent blogging hiatus. (His blog is pretty new, and I’m sure his wife encouraged him to post more regularly, if he wanted to attract a readership.) Scott said he had a bunch of prizes from his desk drawer and asked for people to comment with regard to how they used the time they saved from not reading his blog. I was compelled to speak from the heart, hoping to encourage him to keep blogging. Little did I know that he was serious about sending the ‘valuable’ prizes.

Today I received in the mail a mysterious package, with not one, but five valuable prizes:

  • 2 packets of hot cocoa mix
  • A DVD of Holy Moses!, a children’s musical from Scott’s church
  • a mostly-eaten package of tic-tacs
  • a sheaf of play money
  • and the Pièce de résistance, a ‘B’ scrabble letter (worth 3 points)

Enclosed was a short note, which I provide for your edification:

Tim,
Congratulations on winning this wonderful set of prizes in the contest you entered on my blog.

If this is the wrong Tim, I apologize, but you may still enjoy these random prizes scrounged from the back of my pencil drawer. Or throw them out. I’m not particularly an advocate for accepting used containers of breath fresheners from complete strangers.

And to be absolutely clear, the money enclosed is FAKE. The “Milton Bradley” imprint should be a dead give-away. If you try to spend it anywhere, about 60% of retailers have specific training for employees for how to spot counterfeits, so don’t be surprised if you end up in the slammer. I think it’s actually from a game of “Operation” so you might be able to use it at your child’s next doctor visit.

Happy Birthday and best wishes,

Scott

I learned a number of things about Scott from this letter, some positive, some worrying. He is apparently a very generous man, and a man who loves to celebrate, sending me five prizes where only one had been promised. The note was signed in pencil, which suggests a lack of commitment to our relationship. (In fairness, since we’ve never met, it might be best if we start out as ‘Pencil Pals’, in the finest traditions of Charlie Brown.) On the other hand, it tells me that he is a man of his word (in that he really does have a pencil drawer). Frankly, the precision of his estimate with regard to retailers who train against counterfeiters, made me wonder if he’d already tried (and failed) to spend the Milton Bradley money. Noting his apparent need to emphasize that the money was fake, I discovered that Scott doesn’t see me as the sharpest knife in the drawer. I suppose this is to be expected, since he comments on (and presumably reads) my blog entries from time to time.

I was delighted (to state the obvious) to receive this valuable package, especially so close to my birthday. The hot cocoa will probably be slurped up by my children, but I can hardly wait to view the DVD musical, in all its glory. The mints (all five of them) will come in very handy, and I need hardly mention the utility of an extra ‘B’ tile for our Scrabble game (9 points if I can finesse a triple-letter-score square). We’re in the market for a new fridge; it may be that Scott’s failure with the Milton Bradley money was due to a lack of confidence on his part — it might be amusing to succeed where he failed so woefully.

prizes galore
Hard to believe Scott sent this package without insuring it!

It is at times like this when you are on top of the world, and you want to go out on your driveway and shout to the world, “I Am a Winner!” And so I did.

The neighbors already think I’m weird, what did I have to lose?

Tim
Project 365, Day 285

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Dishes Anyone?

What would you do with a young man, about to turn 14, who FORGOT to do the dinner dishes? Yes, Joshua, my oldest son, was so engrossed in his Carcassonne game with his father that he forgot to wash the dishes. He didn’t even appear to give the job a second thought. I came home from a baby shower and was sure to remind him of his responsibilities.

I mean, isn’t this why we have children, so they will wash the dishes and do the laundry?

joshua takes his turn

Maybe Joshua and Tim had a little wager on the ole Carcassonne game and the loser was responsible for the kitchen clean up. Yes, that must be it. That would explain that smile on Joshua’s face. He’s sure he’s about to win.

So how come it’s after midnight, everyone is bed and I’m up washing dishes? I guess I lost.

And yet with a husband who initiates Special Days with his children and a teenager who WANTS to spend time with his father, I think it’s far more fitting to say I won. Those dishes suddenly look a little sweeter.

Kathy
Project 365 – Day 284

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