Category Archives: Silliness

My Sons, the Comedians

January 7, 2017 Tim 3 Comments

For one reason or another, we like to laugh a lot in our family. Kathy and I have always keenly enjoyed each other’s sense of humor, and we’ve tried to incorporate a love for laughter into our children.

It may be that we have succeeded a little too well.

On Monday, I made some hard-boiled eggs in Kathy’s swanky Insta-Pot. We generally mark the eggs with a Sharpie so that people don’t try to scramble them for breakfast. Sometimes, if Kathy is feeling particularly cheerful, she’ll put little hearts on them, or even write messages like “I love Tim” on a few of the eggs. This can be a bit disconcerting for guests, so we try to pre-shell the eggs if we offer them in a salad to lunch visitors.

But Kathy was busy working on her computer, so she asked David to mark the eggs. It is possible that he resented the job — a fact I discovered the next day when I opened my lunch.

I’m not sure which is worse, that I ate the egg without hesitation, or that I was vaguely proud that my home-schooled child could spell ‘poisoned’ correctly.

Recently, Daniel’s computer video card died. For several days, the computer would not display anything at all, until we figured out how to revert to the integrated video card on the motherboard. Since Daniel mostly uses his computer to play high-graphics video games, you can imagine how distressed he was.

Unbeknownst to Daniel, I recently ordered two new computers for my parents, but had them delivered to my house so I could install some additional hardware and software. Dan happened to be home when the computers were delivered, and he quickly made some alterations to the labels on the packages. Kathy sent me this sequence of pictures at work, to let me know my packages had been delivered, and were greatly appreciated:

Daniel spots the packages by the front door …

His heart leaps in hope …

Daniel can’t believe his eyes, when he reads the address label …

A close-up of the professionally-printed address label …

I’d like to think that God is honored by the fun that we have in our house … that the joy we take in each other brings joy to His heart as well. I guess we’ll find out in Heaven, if Jesus plays practical jokes — He’s had more than 2000 years to be working on some of them. If that doesn’t worry you at least a little, then you have no imagination …

Tim

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Birthday Compromise

October 7, 2015 Tim 2 Comments

Over the years, I’ve discovered that things are not always black and white, ones and zeroes. This has been a difficult lesson for me to learn, since by nature and by vocation I tend to be very definite and decisive. Much as I would prefer otherwise, sometimes truth lies in the synthesis of disparate ideas.

This was brought home to me by the celebration of my birthday. Yesterday, while I was at work in the city, my parents showed up here at home with a Shepherd’s Pie* and a Black Forest Cake to commemorate my 50th birthday.

You can imagine David’s puzzlement, as they insisted that my birthday is on the 6th of October.

“But, Grandma, Dad’s birthday is on the 8th.”

“No, we celebrate his real birthday,” my Mom scolded him. “Not two days late, like the rest of you.”

At some point in my early teens, my Mom forgot which day was actually my birthday and accidentally celebrated it on the 6th. Unwilling to admit she made a mistake, Mom has steadfastly insisted on her birthday conspiracy theory, ever since. My birth certificate, my passport, and early childhood memories all agree that my birthday is on the 8th. But my Mom casually dismisses all this. “That doctor didn’t know what he was writing, as drunk as he was. Who would know better, the Department of Motor Vehicles, or me?”

Poised for action, but dare I celebrate my birth on a spurious day?

There is really no answer to such a claim. Clearly, I dare never run for President, lest I spawn my own birther movement.

But if there is anything that I enjoy nearly as much as Nutella, it is my Mom’s delectable beef stew pie and exquisite Black Forest Cake. So when David and I got home from AWANA this evening, the thought of that pie and the cake in the fridge was almost more than we could bear.

“Tonight we should taste one or the other, of the pie or cake,” David demanded.

“But it isn’t my birthday, yet,” I wailed, weakening in the face of our mutual hunger.

Then an idea struck me. If my Mom (who made the pie and cake) insists that my birthday is on the 6th, and all other documentation shows it on the 8th, then what can I do but compromise and celebrate on the 7th? We agreed to save the cake for tomorrow, but to break out the Shepherd’s Pie* tonight. It seemed a reasonable synthesis.

Mmmmmmmm.

Project 365, Day 280

Tim

* I know that the true definition of a “Shepherd’s Pie” is quite different from the beef pie that my Mom makes, but this is the name by which I have always called it, and I’m not about to start changing now. There are limits to my ability to compromise, after all.

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When the Cat is Away

August 10, 2015 Tim 1 Comment

Today was a bit of a sad day — Joshua and Kelsie flew back to school around 2:30 pm, and Rachel some seven hours later. It is strange to think of Summer ending so quickly, although we still have Daniel to celebrate and send off in less than two weeks.

As is often the case when dealing with sadness, we turn to familiar, comfortable remedies. I walked Joshua and Kelsie out to the car, and watched as Kathy drove them away. Then I sadly turned and came into the house.

“What would cheer me up,” I mused.

Walking down the hall, I shouted to the kids. “They’re gone! Let’s break out the ice cream!”

Rounding the corner into the kitchen, imagine my surprise.

Every last one of these rascals was either eating or serving themselves ice cream.

Apparently, great minds think alike. The kids, no doubt also crushed by the sadness of Joshua and Kelsie’s departure, found temporary consolation in Banana Split, French Silk, and (of course) Blueberry Pomegranate ice cream.

Or perhaps it was Kathy’s absence that made it all possible.

Project 365, Day 222
Tim

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Where Do You Live? Seattle?

July 30, 2015 KME 5 Comments

The waterfront welcomes us to downtown Seattle!

This is a pretty typical exchange that happens when I travel out of state:

Stranger: Where are you from?
Me: Washington.
Stranger: Nice, I love D.C. So much history!
Me: No, Washington State.
Stranger: Oh, gotcha. Seattle?
Me: [Considering whether to explain there are other cities in Washington besides Seattle. Like the capital, Olympia. Or the whole eastern side of the state.] Sure.

Pike’s Place was next.

Or this:

Family member introducing me to friends: This is my daughter/sister/niece. She lives in Seattle.
Me: Actually I live an hour south of Seattle, closer to Tacoma really.
Family member: [smiles to friend] We love Seattle.
Random Friend: Does it rain all the time in Seattle?
Me: I don’t live in Seattle, and no, it doesn’t rain all the time.
Family member and Friend: Nod knowingly.

Finally:

Me (out of town) introducing myself to strangers: Hi, I’m Kathy. I’m from [pause, pause] Seattle.
Friends: How nice.

Since this also happens to Rachel and Joshua all the time at school in Tennessee (really, it’s just easier to say we’re from Seattle), Rachel was determined to make sure we went to Seattle at least once during her summer home. As our days together are rapidly (SOB!!) coming to an end, we picked today to go.

I love these three so much!

It was a GORGEOUS day! All sunshine and blue skies with lots of warmth thrown into the mix. The streets were crowded with people, and we had a real challenge finding parking (circling the same three block four times is normal, right?). After three failed attempts (one spot too small to get out of the van, another lot turned out to be only free on weekends, and one parking garage took us all the way to the fourth level with NO empty spaces), we ended up on a quiet side street with two hour parking for only $7.

Off we went to complete some Must-Do Seattle activities from Rachel’s list. Last summer David and I went to Seattle with some out of town friends. That time we bought city passes (which I highly recommend) and had an incredible time exploring some of the best attractions in Seattle.

Today was the budget version – we paid for parking, a Mexican plate lunch, and coffee.

Sarah adds her gum to the wall.

Best buddies.

We went to Pike’s Place and walked through the market.
We found the Starbucks flagship store.
We went to the famous gum wall in Post Alley and added our gum to the collection.

There was a tour group of 2nd graders heading to the gum wall when we left. Um, okay. LOL.

We tried the coffee at the Storyville Coffee shop (yum).

Delicious coffee!

We drove over to Alki Beach, took off our shoes, burned our feet on the hot sand and dipped our toes in the cold water.
We got some Starbucks for the ride home.

Sarah, Rachel and David are the BEST traveling team – they are thankful, generous, and up for any and all adventures.

We missed having Tim, Daniel and Joshua with us, but we had a great time being Seattle Adventurers. Rachel kept saying, “We’re not tourists because we LIVE in Seattle.” At least now we’re ready to take friends to Seattle and give them an official tour.