Kathy, Parenting, Project 365, Sarah

Special Day Reboot

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When the children were little, I can’t remember exactly when, Tim began the exercise of setting apart weekly special time with just one child. We called them Special Days (we’re obviously very creative and brilliant in naming our family traditions). I looked around and found a blog post written in 2004 about our family’s practice of Special Days. Oh my goodness, time has flown!

How CUTE were these kids!

How CUTE were these kids! Not sure why they were all sitting on a couch in the garage. Maybe they were waiting to be picked for a Special Day.

There has been much ebb and flow in the Special Days over the years, and sadly, as the kids got older and life got busier, we weren’t faithful in making Special Days a priority. It’s ironic that, the more you NEED to stop and savor time with your (rapidly) growing teens/adults, the LESS you seem able to do so.

With the age difference between the older children (all three in college) and the younger two (in 8th and 9th grade) spanning four years, we have the opportunity try some new parenting things, return to old favorites, and really focus on this time with David and Sarah.

“I’ve decided to restart Special Days,” Tim told me just before he left to take Daniel to California.
“That’s a GREAT idea,” I said, feeling a bit left out, Special Days were always a Father/Child activity.
“But this time we’re BOTH going to do them – one child each week,” he winked at me. He’s so smart.

So this week Tim met with David. I’m not sure what all they did (maybe Tim will blog about it, hint hint). I know they hid upstairs with a notebook, pen and a book to read. And I know they went out for ice cream afterward, so I guess it was a successful first Special Day.

The week was rapidly coming to a close when Tim asked me if I had anything planned to do with Sarah.

“Uh. Um. No” I’m sure I looked a bit sheepish.
“Did you remember?”
Those are not fair questions to ask.
“Of course. I’m totally on it!” When necessary, fake it!
“You’re empty, aren’t you?” (It always comes back to movie quotes in our family. That one was a classic, Silverado, “You’re empty, Mister” line.) I was obviously not fooling Tim. Thankfully Sarah was no where in sight.

I’m not used to doing Special Days. That’s always been Tim’s father/child thing. If he took all the kids at one time, I happily stayed home and relaxed or worked (which ever was more pressing at the time). If Tim was doing a single outing, I spent time managing/watching/teaching the other 4 children. Not to mention the fact that Sarah and I just completed our Passport2Purity weekend, and I’d exhausted all the usual fun mother/daughter activities.

“Well, how about you take her out for breakfast on Saturday,” he suggested patiently.

Didn’t I say he was smart? “Perfect,” I said with relief.

So, this morning we both slept in and then set off for breakfast at the local cafe. Of course, by the time we got up and got going, it was after 10 am and the place was packed. I guess we don’t have very many good breakfast spots in our town. Now that I think about it, my mom and I had trouble in December when we tried to take a friend out for a birthday breakfast at this same spot. We ended up walking over to Starbucks across the street and enjoying some coffee and a breakfast sandwich instead.

“What are we going to do,” Sarah asked me as we looked at the list of people ahead of us on the sign in sheet.
“I have an idea,” I said, crossing off our name, grabbing her hand and heading out the door.

Well, it wasn’t a cute breakfast place, and we didn’t have a yummy meal served to us at a cozy table, but we did get a tasty sandwich wrap and some delicious coffee for me. Hey, I can’t help it that the Starbucks is right across the street.

Worrying I was rapidly blowing my first Special Day outing, I took Sarah back home, got her some more breakfast (those little wraps are costly but not very filling when it’s nearly 11 am). The sun was shining, the house was quiet, and I was struck with a brilliant idea. I played it off like it was my original plan and not a last minute thought. Heh heh.

“Sarah, we’re going to do this Mother/Daughter journal that Rachel and I started. And let’s read this Mother/Daughter book too.”

Snuggle and read time.

Mother/Daughter Special Day time.

We snuggled on the love seat under a quilt, read through some journal entries, started the first chapter of 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, and laughed together.

Whew, my first Special Day with Sarah wasn’t a total failure. Now to figure out what to do with David next week. I guess I might want to actually put some thought and planning into this.

Game Time!

Game Time!

Later we went for a walk as a family. Stopped by some friends’ house. Bought an adorable pink purse for me and 6 pairs of cute shoes for Sarah. Came home for lunch and an episode of Once Upon a Time. In the evening we sent Tim to church to start the registration for AWANA while we went to David’s best friend Eli’s first football game. Love family time and holiday weekends!

Shoe Score for Sarah!

Shoe Score for Sarah!

Stay tuned for more Special Day posts!

Project 365 – Day 248
Kathy

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Friendship, Kathy, Marriage, Project 365

Double Date

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I recently resumed the practice of reporting weekly on my goals.

This took quite a bit of gumption, since I’ve not been in the habit of reviewing my goals this year — and as Dee Duke says, a goal that is not reviewed is not much of a goal. There is a strange correlation between reviewing goals and actually pursuing them; you’d think by now I would have caught on to this.

Anyway, I started reporting on my goals, and the first week I earned a rather low (unweighted) score of 38%. This means that I managed to complete only slightly more than one third of the things that I had decided were important for me to do.

(Parenthetically, this is one of the most annoying things about goals. It would be one thing if goals were brutally imposed by oppressive, external forces; but when you set your own goals and still can’t achieve them, it is just sort of pathetic.)

So as soon as I sent the email reporting the abysmal 38% score, I determined to do better. Surely I could improve to at least 50%, I wondered?

One of my goals is to celebrate a date night with my Sweetie each week. It doesn’t seem like a very hard goal, but you would be surprised how quickly a week can go by without remembering to date your Sweetie. So this week I decided in advance that it would be Friday night. Kathy and I usually don’t have anything going on that night, and that would give me all week to plan.

It looked pretty, if I do say so myself. OK, at least the girls were pretty.

It looked pretty, if I do say so myself. OK, at least the girls were pretty.

Except I forgot to plan. I’m not a big planner, in any case, and it was Friday morning before I knew it. Hurriedly, I rummaged around in my brain for a good idea, like the way you might rummage around in a spilled bag of candy, hoping for one that wasn’t noticed by those who came before you.

And then it hit me — why not a double date with some of our friends? Now that so many of our kids are grown and gone off to college, maybe Kathy and I could pretend to be grown up ourselves, and have a date with another married couple! Kathy has a lot of good girlfriends, and I really like a lot of their husbands, so it seemed like a good idea.

A couple of years ago, we got together with seven other couples and cooked a meal together, with the men divided into two teams and competing for the best entree with randomly assigned ingredients. It took hours for us to actually produce a meal, with some rather interesting results, but as a social event, it was a smashing success.

So I decided to trade on that achievement, and texted my friend Chris.

“How ’bout we double-date with our wives, tonight,” I offered. “We can whip up a meal for them, and then watch a movie or something. My house. Sound good?”

Chris quickly jumped on the band wagon. Did I mention he is an accomplished chef? So we cooked a delicious meal of grilled chicken and brown rice, with peppers and zucchini and onions and a few small tomatoes, all brushed with oil and sizzling on the grill. I set the table complete with tablecloth, cloth napkins, a candlestick, and crystal water goblets.

So delicious!

So delicious!

We sat and talked about our children (what else do old married people talk about?) and then watched a movie — it was a very pleasant evening! I think this whole date night thing might be worth continuing. Stay tuned for next week’s installment.

Project 365, Day 247
Tim

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Daily Life, Project 365, Tim

The Sound of Change

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This was a very strange day at work. My employer has decided to stuff an extra 60 people into the office building floor where I work, and so we were all told to box up our stuff and get ready for the corporate equivalent of a Fruit Basket Upset. When the dust settles, I will occupy a somewhat smaller cubicle on the northwest side of the building, rather than the northeast side which I have occupied for the last seven or eight years.

Ordinarily, the only time (at work) that you hear people putting stuff in boxes is if they have been laid off, or are quitting. It is a sound full of negative emotional impact, especially if you’ve ever been laid off (which I have) or worked for a small company which was bought out or which closed its doors (which I haven’t). So, all day long I kept hearing the sound of people packing and would subconsciously tense, before remembering to tell myself that it was only a move. Modular office furniture is a perfect choice if you need to move or relocate rather often.

Around four p.m., the moving guys showed up, and began hauling away the belongings of those who had already left for the day. I tried to look alert and actively productive, for fear of being mistaken for furniture, and hauled away to some dark storage closet. As I was leaving, I decided to take a quick ‘cubie’ (less narcissistic than a ‘selfie’) to remember the otherwise insignificant beige cloth-covered box in which I have spent so many of my waking hours, since we moved upstairs in 2007 or so.

I was able to put all my junk in four boxes, which I thought was pretty good.

I was able to put all my junk in four boxes, which I thought was pretty good.

I can’t say I’ll miss that cube. It faced onto a hallway leading to a high-trafficked conference room, and I was constantly being disturbed by the comings and goings of people with nothing to do but stand around outside conference rooms, conferring noisily. I can’t wait to move into my (admittedly-smaller) digs, where I’ll be on a cul-de-sac that is en route to nowhere (hopefully not a metaphor for my career).

Project 365, Day 246
Tim

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David, Family, Project 365

A Daily Constitutional

Just before I was discharged from the Army (honorably, of course) I took 53 days of ‘terminal leave’ (it isn’t as deadly as it sounds) and explored Western Europe by train. Whenever I ran low on clean underwear, I returned to my central ‘base of operations’ near Heidelberg, where my brother and sister-in-law lived. I spent a lot of time in their laundry room.

My brother was frequently in the field with his tank squadron that summer, and poor Liz found herself in the awkward position of entertaining a feckless brother-in-law. (After all, training their kitten as a ferocious attack-beast could only fill so many of my hours). So one weekend, she took me off on a Volksmarch, and we were each awarded a valuable tin plate in commemoration of our achievement.

The German people are a hardy bunch, much given to brisk, orderly marching around the countryside, breathing large draughts of healthy country air. In a similar manner, our family has begun a new tradition: before we watch anything in the evening (whether it be a movie or some episode of a show on Netflix) we require ourselves to walk at least a mile (but in our own shoes, not in someone else’s moccasins).

An evening promenade with my youngest girl. You can see Sarah really has to push herself hard, to keep up with me ...

An evening promenade with my youngest girl. You can see Sarah really has to push herself hard, to keep up with me …

Some days we are more eager than others, but on the whole, it seems a healthy habit — helps to digest our dinner, and it gets us out-of-doors if we haven’t been out earlier (as is often the case with me, when I work from home). We use our Map My Run™ app on our phones so we get full credit for the exhausting walk — it is so nice to be patronized by the app: “Congratulations! This was your 49th fastest walk!”

Famed as we are for starting new traditions, it will be interesting to see if we are able to continue this habit. We’re already on our fourth day, which is not bad, by our standards. Maybe when my brother moves to town, he’ll take me on one of his famed ‘death marches’, carefully crafted to show me for the soft-bellied, programmer wimp that I am.

But there is always hope for the next generation. David has decided to take on the dual challenges of the Junior ROTC program at Curtis High School and the Cross Country Team at Lakes High School, this Fall. On top of three Potter’s School Classes and a bunch of other coursework, David is really raising the bar for himself, as he leaps boldly into High School.

What a fine, manly specimen!

What a fine, manly specimen!

This evening, David and I met to plan out his life, and to detail the steps he’ll need to take to place him in a position where he will be equipped for certain paths, should God offer them to him. It was encouraging to talk it out with David; he’s a level-headed kid with a good understanding of what his priorities should be. I’m so pleased and excited to see him briskly and firmly stepping into manhood!

Project 365, Day 245
Tim

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Daily Life, Project 365, Recipes/Food

Meal Planning

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Oh my mercy! If there is one thing that I can NOT SEEM TO CONQUER, it is meal planning. I don’t know why in the world this relatively simple task seems to elude me. I have tried over the years, really I have. There are notebooks scattered all over the house with menu plans scribbled in them. I have binders full of recipes. I have shelves of gorgeous cookbooks.

I have NO excuses. Oh, I have lots of reasons why I don’t like to meal plan, or why I can’t seem to “get it,” but none of them are very plausible.

“It’s too difficult?” Um, really? Picking 5 or more dishes is hard?
“It takes too much time?” Hmmm, isn’t it just a matter of deciding on a recipe and making it?
“It’s too confining! I prefer spontaneity.” Well, couldn’t you “spontaneously” pick out a few dishes to make?
“It’s too hard to have the right ingredients on hand.” LOL! Girl, you live 5 blocks from a major grocery store.
“It takes too much work.” Bwahaha, aren’t you making meals for your family anyway? This does not have to take any MORE time than what you’re already doing.

See! Even the voice in my own head is working against me, crushing my excuses.

Harrumph.

Our first attempt at a new (meal planning) recipe.

Our first attempt at a new (meal planning) recipe.

Since this week (and the last) were sort of limbo weeks for me, and I was a little gloomy anyway, it seemed like the perfect time to spend hours on Pinterest. Oh, and meal planning is just the kind of thing that is ALL OVER Pinterest. Goodness, there are meal plans for gluten-free diets, paleo diets, low carb, low fat, large families, busy families, and everything in between.

Finally, something struck my fancy.

And really, I think it’s all about what would make this fun for MOM here in this instance.

My beautiful assistant.

My beautiful assistant.

Theme Meal Planning

I read how one family enjoyed the simplicity, comfort and fun of having regular themes for their meal planning. I quickly pinned several great blog posts, but, after a little bit, realized I would actually have to get up and do some real planning if I wanted to make it happen. So much more fun to just lose track of time on Pinterest. Sigh.

I made Sarah come and sit at the table with me. I gave her the options of different themes and asked her to help me. We settled on:

Monday: Soup
Tuesday: Pasta
Wednesday: Crock-pot
Thursday: Casserole
Friday: Seafood
Saturday: International
Sunday: Roast and veggies

Next I handed her cookbooks and asked her to pick out recipes. She found a yummy looking chicken noodle soup (with homemade noodles) for Monday, a one-pot pasta recipe on Pinterest, and a delicious enchilada recipe from my Mexican cookbook for Saturday. We already have a crock-pot meal in the freezer. Things were rapidly coming together. We made a list of ingredients and went to the store. Again, fairly easy and painless.

Sarah wrote the meals down on a cute divided picture frame I bought and made sure to put it in plain sight.

Found this on the local FB sale page.

Found this on the local FB sale page.

Who knows, maybe I can conquer the anti-meal-planning giant that always seems to beat me down. And teach Sarah and David to cook in the process. Win-win.

Project 365 – Day 243 (Aug 31)
Kathy

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