Slug’s prank

Dear readers –

What my dad doesn’t know is, when I first saw him drink “tar” I thought, “wouldn’t it be funny if he was allergic to that ground hay, also!” So one day when my friend F.D. (Fiendish Dog) came over he, my brother Slug, and I went out and collected pollen. When we had collected about two ounces of it we substituted it for his barley grass. I borowed his camera and took a picture of him while he drank it.

March 2004 230.jpg

Apparently my dad can put two and two together; after he saw me with the camera, and Fiendish Dog’s green-stained hands, he pretty much figured out what happened. This is what he looks like right now … AAAAHHHH! HELLLLLPPPPP!!!

March 2004 266.jpg

Related posts:

Desperate Measures

March 2004 226.jpg

It is a sad thing to see a man brought to his knees by the trials and vicissitudes of life. In cases of extreme physical discomfort, even the most rational of men may set aside his education and experience, engaging in the most superstitious of rituals, hoping for some relief. I am ashamed to admit that I have fallen prey to such unscientific methodology, in the midst of allergy season.

I live in a forest, and I seem to be allergic to tree pollen. Rudely, the trees around here continue to pollinate each Spring, year after year, with no apparent concern for my troubles. A kindly neighbor has given me Green Magma Organic Dietary Supplement with Essential Nutrients, Active Enzymes, Antioxidants and Chlorophyll (ground hay), which I consume daily, much to the amusement of my children. As it is entirely unpalatable, I mix it with tomato juice:

March 2004 227.jpg

Mixed, it closely resembles tar, or at least it no longer looks like tomato juice. Nevertheless, I drink it down faithfully, hoping against hope that my allergic reaction to tree pollen will somehow be diminished by um, er, consuming minced barley grass.

March 2004 228.jpg

I suppose, even if eating hay does not help at all, it does not seem to do me any harm; I do try to resist the impulse to trot around the house neighing like a horse. Nobody seems to mind — during allergy season my family has come to expect a lot of weird noises and even weirder behavior from me.

Related posts:

Arguing with God

Last Sunday we continued our study of Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life. I was intrigued by a claim made by Warren (page 93, if you have the book):

“In the Bible, the friends of God were honest about their feelings, often complaining, second-guessing, accusing, and arguing with their Creator. God, however, didn’t seem to be bothered by this frankness; in fact, he encouraged it.”

Warren went on to give examples from the Old Testament, including Abraham’s shrewd haggling over the destruction of Sodom, Job’s forthright speech to God, and Moses argument with God in the aftermath of the golden calf fiasco.

I’ve got nothing against honesty. Indeed, if you can’t be honest with God, you have serious issues in your understanding of His power and His goodness.

We all do a considerable amount of second-guessing of God, particularly when we don’t know His will or understand His plan. And, given the examples Warren cites, I can’t really find fault with some limited and respectful arguing with God, especially as we grapple with God’s attributes, (like mercy and justice). I myself have dared to question God regarding His management of our church.

But I get a little uneasy with the idea of accusing God (wasn’t that Satan’s role, in Job?) and complaining (or murmuring) against God. This seems to be a quick way to acquire a non-stop, one-way ticket to 40 years’ wandering in the wilderness. I wonder if we can become a little too enamoured with the idea of God as our best friend, and fall into error in understating God’s role as our Lord?

As I considered the examples Warren listed, I flipped back to Exodus 32 and 33, reading some of the context of Moses’ argument with God.

God was telling Moses to go on up to the promised land. He was graciously sending His angel ahead of them to keep His side of the covenant and deliver the land into their hands, even though they had broken their side of the covenant before the figurative ink was dry. (Read Exodus 32 — it was like a newlywed jumping into an adulterous affair while still on the honeymoon — a pretty sad story.) But God Himself would not go with them, as He said, “I might destroy you if I go with you even a single step.” (Tim’s paraphrase.)

On the surface, Moses seems to be asking God not to remove the validation of His Presence, perhaps out of fear that his position as leader would be vulnerable without God to back him up. But a closer reading of chapter 33 helps to clear that up; it reveals something very obvious and yet profound:

Moses was arguing for God Himself — he wouldn’t settle for God’s gift (the promised land) but wanted God’s actual presence. He correctly recognized that God’s gift was worthless when compared to God Himself. “If you won’t go with us, we don’t want to go!” Moses told God. (Another Tim paraphrase — I’m just not in Eugene Peterson’s league, I guess.)

I think that this is why God allows us to argue with Him — He wants to bring us up to the next level of faith by revealing Himself through a dialogue. In each of the examples Warren cites, the parties involved learned more about the character of God, and adjusted their faith accordingly.

There are plenty who chase after God’s gifts. The “Health and Wealth Gospel” folks would have you believe that God wants you to be rich, and your appropriate faith response is to enjoy those riches (after tithing, of course). The Prophecy types are eager to acquire the secret knowledge of God with regard to future events, although I’ve never been clear exactly why. Many Christians put their faith in God as fire insurance, correctly reasoning that there are no other options.

My understanding, however, is that God desires fellowship and friendship with us — He wants us to want Him, not His gifts. Like a parent, sometimes He lavishes gifts on us, and other times He withholds things that would harm us — but always, He desires a deeper and more satisfying relationship with us.

I’ve been unemployed and self-employed for a long time now, and one of the things I desire most of all from God is a steady source of earned income. Yet God continues to deny that to me. Perhaps He is teaching me to want Him, not His gift.

Related posts:

the_passion-thumb

The Passion

the_passion.jpg
Photo courtesy of Aztlan Communications Network

Under a certain amount of duress, I drove with Kathy to Tacoma to see The Passion today, while my Mom watched the kids. Receiving free tickets, and even being chauffered to the movie theater by my Dad, it was all accomplished with very little inconvenience or pain to me. Except, perhaps, the pain of watching.

Don’t get me wrong. I thought the movie was very well done, extremely effective and reasonably true to the Biblical accounts of the Gospels. I found the scriptural quotations to be well-chosen and believe the overall presentation was closely representative of the actual event. But it was a difficult and draining experience to view the portrayal of Jesus’ agony up to the moment of his death, in such graphic detail.

I’m glad that I went, for some values of ‘glad’.

(This is a programmer joke — 2+2=5 for some values of 2 and 5. Admittedly, not a very funny joke, but, hey, I’m a programmer, not a comedian.)

What I mean is that I felt responsible to see the movie and I’m proud that I went through with it, but it did not, technically, make me ‘glad’. I went to see it because I think for the next month or two it will be one of the most effective ways to engage a non-believer in a discussion about Jesus; indeed, I tried it out on a WalMart checkout clerk on the way home and found the conversation to be very easy and natural.

My wife says that I am too negative in this posting and that I fail to inspire my potential reader to rush out and see The Passion. Perhaps so. Frankly, to quote an obscure line from “Knight’s Tale”, going to this movie is “something each man must decide for himself.” I will probably not allow my children to see this movie, but I would encourage my brother to do so, if he hasn’t already. If you love God, seeing this movie will probably deepen your understanding of the sacrifice that Jesus made as He died in your place. If you don’t love God, and you reject His Son, then going to this movie may not help you particularly, unless the Holy Spirit uses it to touch your heart and change your mind.

I was very moved by the scene in which Mary manages to connect with Jesus as he makes his way along the Via Dolorosa. Rather than speak of his suffering, or even express his love for her, the actor playing Jesus says, “See, I am making all things new!” (As far as I know, Jesus does not actually say this until quoted in Revelation 21:5.) Gibson communicates Jesus’ sense of purpose and submission to God’s plan very accurately, using flashback scenes to carefully underscore the fact that Jesus gave up His life; it was not taken from Him. Even as His mangled body is crushed beneath the weight of the cross, Jesus’ unswerving commitment to fulfilling the will of the Father blazes forth in this majestic moment.

There was nothing in the movie that surprised me, particularly, except a few ‘jump’ scenes (as when Jesus stomps on the snake’s head or when a Roman soldier knocks an offered cup of water out of a woman’s hand). I’ve seen the Puyallup Passion Play several times, where considerable effort is made to realistically portray the beating and crucifixion of Jesus. And of course I’ve studied all four of the gospels fairly carefully and read a number of commentaries that explain various cultural customs and practices more clearly.

I was impressed by the way that Gibson used Satan to actually present the essence of the Gospel, in the opening scenes of the film. Satan, trying to discourage Jesus, tries to tell him that there is no way one man can bear the sin of all people. Through this backhanded device, the viewer can clearly understand that Jesus’ intent is to bear the sin of all men in His own body, according to the will of God the Father.

There was, perhaps, a bit more reverence of Mary than seems appropriate to me, but from a Catholic perspective, it was fairly restrained.

I strongly identified with the thief on the cross who asks Jesus to remember him, when he comes into his kingdom; the power of God never ceases to amaze me as revealed in that scene. In the midst of the darkest moment of all of Creation, as the Son of God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords is being brutally tortured to death by His own rebellious creatures, God reaches out and uses that opportunity to snatch a soul from Satan’s grasp.

Truly, he makes all things new.

Related posts:

The musings and ravings of a bloggart family